Hate college so far, desperate for help

College Life
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<p>I hope some people can understand my plight, and perhaps provide some information that might help.</p>

<p>I applied to four universities, mistakenly thinking that I do not care which university I’ll be admitted to. I was accepted in all four, and decided on choosing one the closest. I wanted it to be far enough so that the people I know around my area won’t go there (to start anew), but close enough to where my apartment my mom and I just rented is.</p>

<p>It turns out I have majorly underestimated the life a commuter. I forgot that I have no sense of directions, so any unfitting events that may occur will derange me.</p>

<p>Besides having to commute 1-2hrs each way with public transportation, I’m not liking the people here. It’s not a diverse area at all. Today was the third student orientation day, and I just wanted to get the eff out of there. My mom had to drive me, and it’s been stressing her out as well. People here are very odd, preppy and fake. They are like robots.</p>

<p>I think these two factors will be a huge problem for me in order to succeed in college. The problems are:</p>

<p>1.) Submitted fasfa, paid tuition
2.) Received ID
3.) Attended student orientation, two days left for school
4.) No idea what other college to apply to</p>

<p>Please, please help me. I know this is very bad planning, but assumptions are the devil and I made poor judgement. I want to attend an online university, accredited and non-profit.</p>

<p>Drexel University is available online but too expensive. Just like Penn State but I think they are only for adult learners. Any help, please? I’m so desperate.</p>

<p>My mom even noticed how stressed I am, and as a result, she is stressed as well. I don’t think this university is for me.</p>

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<p>I hated orientation too, and thought all the people were fake-feeling. How genuine did you act during orientation, though? Everyone’s going to feel uncomfortable if the orientation leaders treat you like kids, or even just because orientation is a sort of artificial environment, where it feels like you’re being forced to make friends with people not of your own choosing. You might find that it’ll be different once you start classes.</p>

<p>If you can’t get your tuition back, I think you should tough it out past orientation, and see what the courses are like, and if the people change once they’re back in a classroom setting. Assumptions are the devil, after all, and orientation is hardly representative of how college actually is. If after a week or so of trying to be open-minded, it still isn’t working for you, I agree, you should leave and apply elsewhere. College will be a stressful experience at times, but it shouldn’t be to this degree so soon.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

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<p>The biggest problem is the commute, not the people. I’ll suck it up when it comes to people. They are just a factor. The commute is a very big problem. 1-2hrs with public transportation. I thought it was manageable. I don’t know what to do. I might transfer to another university.</p>

<p>Very desperate and in need of help.</p>

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<p>It’s been two days. TWO. Not twenty, not two hundred, TWO. Grow some thicker skin. Look into either moving into the dorms, or you’re going to have to stick it out for a semester before you can transfer.</p>

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<p>It’s actually been three, but you’re totally missing the idea. I underestimated the commute. It’s approximately 1-2hrs BACK AND FORTH. I thought I was going to enjoy it. I thought it was easy, and I thought it wasn’t a big deal but I underestimated the stress. It’s also far away when my mom drives me there, too. It takes an hour to drive there. I’m not familiar with public transportation.</p>

<p>I can deal with people. I’m okay with disliking people from this town because I’ve always been antisocial like that since I have a social anxiety problem that is getting worse. I’m just in dire need of convenience.</p>

<p>Moving into the dorms is not an option. Please put yourself in other people’s shoes and understand that I can’t do that. I simply cannot. My mom and I just moved into a new apartment.</p>

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<p>As far as the social stuff, you’re jumping to conclusions without giving anyone a chance. You can’t judge an entire student body based on a few kids you made small talk with at orientation. Like Tito said, orientation is not really where you see people at their finest - everyone is nervous and the new environment is stressful. You also might want to evaluate how you’re coming across yourself because, honestly, you sound very hostile in your post.</p>

<p>The commuting is a problem, and I don’t understand why didn’t you consider this when you chose your college. Is there a reason you have to stay where you are? If not, it would probably be a good idea to start thinking about other options. It’s probably way too late to make new arrangements now, but you should see about an on-campus housing waitlist you could put your name on or look to sublease an apartment for spring semester. There’s no way commuting that far is going to work long-term. </p>

<p>Until then, try to make the best of it and don’t assume the worst. If you’re still just as unhappy by spring semester, then consider transferring.</p>

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<p>I commute an hour-hour and a half each way using public transportation to my job each and every day. If anything, it’s shockingly more relaxing than sitting in traffic for an hour. You’ll learn the public transportation system within 2 weeks, and if there’s a bump in the road (like your bus breaks down, or the train is delayed), it sucks but it’s part of life. Use the time to do your reading for class, study, read for pleasure, play Angry Birds, or listen to music. I personally can’t, but some people nap on the train here</p>

<p>For future reference, it’s not about putting yourself in other peoples’ shoes. You asked a question, we’re here to provide objective answers.</p>

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<p>If commuting is the big problem and you can not live in the dorms, maybe you can find a room to rent off campus that is a lot closer. </p>

<p>If that is not an option see if you can get your money back if you withdraw. Then, I guess you will have to take a semester off if it is too late to sign up for the local community college. </p>

<p>I would try to do the first one…</p>

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<p>Soccergurl7988, I hate the position I am in, physically and emotionally right now because of poor planning and lack of better judgement. I’m in a very tight situation. Do I want it this way? No. Should I have planned better? Yes.</p>

<p>You said you’re here to provide objective answers, but your first post was to tell me that I need to grow a thicker skin. I’m here for solutions not for someone to indirectly insult me, and point out my personality flaw. </p>

<p>It seems as if you were offended that I am in the position I am and that I’m not “dealing” with it. There are people who simply don’t feel like being unhappy in their situation so they can’t just DEAL. They can’t just accept the predicament that they are in.</p>

<p>Maybe I’m a little touchy today, but I am very, very stressed out about this the entire week. I can’t even sleep at night.</p>

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<p>My god, someone likes to complain. </p>

<p>Well honestly, what did you expect? You sound like you did practically no research on universities, and now you’re disappointed after only TWO days? Have you even started class? </p>

<p>For commuting, well, you can buy a gps or something similar if your sense of direction is that bad. You shouldn’t be stressing your mom out or making her drive you. Use busses. </p>

<p>Orientations are meant to be fun! Do they treat you a little like a child? Yeah a little. But the fun of it is that you are all thrown into the same situation and everyone is open is making friends. </p>

<p>I’m sorry, I just can’t get over how whiney this post seems. Getting to go to a university is a privilege that not everyone gets to have. If you don’t like it, quit, because you already don’t sound motivated enough and will likely be wasting time anyway.</p>

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<p>So your problem is the commute and you say moving into the dorms isn’t an option. And you’re asking for help…with what?</p>

<p>Do you want someone to tell you how to build a teleporter? There is nothing anyone here can do to help you. This situation is a result of your own bad planning, and either you’ll have to withdraw and lose the money you paid or suck it up. </p>

<p>But making a thread just to complain about how your life is so miserable and unfair isn’t going to accomplish anything.</p>

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<p>good school with good rep stay or give it another semester. if your really unhappy transfer to another college and dorm like a suny if u live in ny</p>

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<p>I’m not indirectly insulting you, I’m providing you with solutions. When you graduate, what are you going to do if you can’t find a job within a 10-15 minute drive? What if you have to drive a longer distance to get there? What if you have to move to a city? If you can’t handle taking public transportation somewhere (which can be plotted out…take bus A to stop 4, get off bus A, get on bus C to stop 12, etc. etc.), how are you going to handle driving to a job? In addition, if these types of situations are overwhelming for you, perhaps you should look into counseling and an anti-anxiety medication. They may be beneficial for you. </p>

<p>Everyone here has basically said the same things: suck it up for good, move into a dorm, suck it up for a semester and transfer, or drop out. I nicely provided you with suggestions of things to do to occupy yourself (and perhaps decrease your stress) during your commute, and you claim I’m insulting you. You jumped on me. Take some Nyquil, get some sleep, and be more open. You might find you feel a lot better</p>

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<p>You’re right. I was whining. I have sever social anxiety disorder and have panic attacks. I’m whining because everything is overwhelming for me. I HATE that I’m like this but I can’t help it.</p>

<p>I don’t know what I wanted help with. Sometimes when people are desperate, they reach out on the internet hoping for assurance and then you quickly realize that this is not therapy session.</p>

<p>When it all comes down to it, I’m just afraid. That’s all.</p>

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<p>This is more just general advice, but it will be okay, okay? I think you should follow soccergurl’s advice and look into getting some counselling. If this college doesn’t work out, that’s fine. But I think you should try to see this as a way to help overcome your anxiety, with a counsellor’s guidance. You’ll have to work on your anxiety at some point, and college is a pretty decent, reasonably controlled environment to do it in. I know how it is to be afraid of everything, and I hope you can overcome it sooner rather than later.</p>

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<p>Stay away from on-line degrees. They’re worthless.</p>

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<p>See if your college has distance learning courses. They may have a few courses that you could take online and not have to go to campus for. That being said, most courses will still be on campus. If those courses are offered, you could possibly schedule so that you commute less days of the week…</p>

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<p>I agree that you should find a way to commute less days of the week. I commute only three days of the week. I’m lucky enough that most of my major courses only take place once a week (for three hours). I think you should find a way so that your mom doesn’t have to make the commute too. </p>

<p>Also, recognize that you’re very early into the college year, so things WILL get better. While you do come across as somewhat whiny, that’s ok! Just realize that a number of people have it much more difficult. I have friends that have to work nearly full-time to pay for tuition.</p>

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<p>If the commute is really not what you expected and will not work out for you, you should withdraw before classes start. If you do so before the first day of classes you should be able to get most, if not all, of your paid tuition back. But, you can’t wait. Once classes start, most schools refund less and less. Do NOT take online classes. Work this year, and spend time really researching schools that might be better for you. Apply this coming winter to start next fall. It will only delay your graduation by one year, give you time to get a better handle on your anxiety, give you more time to really pick good schools, and give you time to make some money and figure out your goals as well. Move quickly if you decide to withdraw! People make mistakes - it doesn’t sound like you had much guidance first time around. Now you know a little more about the process. Read up. Don’t take courses at all so that you will be still considered an incoming freshman and have access to better financial aid than most transfers are offered. Use this as a learning experience not to repeat!</p>