Sigh. Again with the millenials killing things.
We wrote thank yous for our wedding and I’ve received them from all my millennial friends.
Ironically, the ones I haven’t gotten them from are my parents’ friends 2nd, 3rd, or more marriages.
In my family, both sides, we do NOT write thank you notes. We call (or, now, Facebook and whatsapp). It has been this way since my parents can remember.
I’ll probably never write a handwritten thank you note again. Writing just hurts my hands too much.
My kids write formal thank you for the bigger occasions and thank you emails for smaller things. At 24 and 27 they do it without my prompting them.
My kids were brought up writing thank you notes for any gift they did not receive personally from the giver, in which case I think a heartfelt spoken thank you is fine. I think baby and bridal shower thank yous are an exception because you don’t really remember who gave what when you are sitting in a room full of gifts. Christmas afternoon was a time for writing thank yous…they were not allowed to play with or spend gift cards until a note was written. Fantastic motivation 
I have to push my daughter to do thank you notes, but she’ll do them (reluctantly). I myself have rarely received a thank you from a millennial- and I have many nieces, nephews and cousins’ kids that I buy gifts for. On a positive note, I had a talk with my nephew (the one I helped with his college apps) and he now sends very thoughtful thank you notes.
We have been to 3 weddings this year, and 3 more to go (all are “millenials”, kids of friends and relatives), so lots of shower gifts and wedding gifts.(oh, and some babies born this year too) My wife places an inordinate emphasis on thank you notes. It is very important to her. Getting a thank you note before the wedding makes the bride a wonderful person. Not receiving a thank you note 3 months after the wedding makes them scum. At the most basic level, with no note my wife worries if they received the gift at all. We have gotten many nice thank you notes from millenials, but the rare exception is noticed, and noted.
I’m embarrassed to admit that, as far as I know, my daughter and son-in-law failed to send thank you notes after their wedding 13 months ago. I asked them several times if they’d sent them yet, and DD kept telling me they were waiting for a time to sit down together and do it. I’ve asked three close friends if they have received notes yet, and they have not. My friends went on to make excuses for DD, mentioning that it was a very stressful year for her because my husband/her father died a few weeks after the wedding. Yes, it’s been a stressful year, but that doesn’t excuse rudeness. When DD was a child, I purchased personalized notes for her to send upon receipt of birthday gifts, etc. and she wasn’t allowed to use the gift or spend the gift money until a note had been sent. I’m mortified.
Now, here she is two months from her due date, and people are asking me about a baby shower. Her co-workers are hosting a shower, and my MIL and SIL are hosting another shower. I have no intention of invitations going to any of my friends. Why should bad behavior be rewarded? I’m embarrassed to be writing this because my DD and her hubby are two of the sweetest people I know, but not acknowledging gifts is inexcusable.
S is in trouble with his grandmother as he never thanked her for his birthday gift.
But She is on it and she will definitely let him know her feeling.
I can’t imagine not receiving a note for a wedding, shower, birth, or graduation gift. Still completely unacceptable even in 2017 and those that are unaware of that must also be unaware that everyone is talking behind their backs about it! Let’s face it, an invitation or an announcement for any of those events is code for “time to send me a gift,” so the least someone can do when I spend my time and money purchasing said gift is to acknowledge it!
I have to admit that it was a lifelong battle to get my D to send thank you notes. It started out with Mom laying them all out and pre addressing the envelopes. Finally moved onto laying them all out with the family address list. Then I purchased monogram stationary cards for her as she went off to college (so she couldn’t have an excuse). Even last year I was still nagging her because it always was "tomorrow ".
This year she graduated college and within a week I found her at the dining table writing her thank you notes without any reminder!!! Will wonders ever cease??? She is now Mom approved to fully launch:)
My H’s side of the family never sends thank you notes or phone calls or emails. Gave up getting upset about it a long time ago. I have no idea whether they have ever received anything sent.
My side is very big on formal thank you notes. But I do find myself sending emails or texts as thank yous nowadays. I like to send a picture with the gift, opening the gift, eating the gift, enjoying the gift. Or I will use the thank you as incentive to make an overdue phone call to to the sender.
I think it is still common for weddings, shower gifts etc. I actually get lovely ones from my young nieces for gifts, but I’d be fine with a call or email. Let’s face it, the written thank you notes came about when there were not other modes of communication. Although I still write them myself, I don’t expect the for informal occasions. Admittedly it is great fun to get thank you notes from my ever appreciative 90 year old dad.
My kids have written thank you notes to people and I’ m not sure they knew what to do or how to respond. For instance, D2 sent a thank you to her bf’s parents for having her for dinner at Easter the first year they were together. She also brought a bottle of wine or something. Then she got a thank you for the wine . Were the thank yous suppose to keep going on? Haha. D1 also once got a thank you for a thank you card.
People just do not know what to do with with thank you notes since they have become so uncommon. I’ll accept an email or even a text. But no response is not acceptable.
My S’s ex, however, did not thank you enough. We gave her a 3 figure dollar gift for her college graduation.She thanked us through our S. Never a personal, card or electronic thank you. Felt that was very inappropriate.
Honestly, My DIL expresses great appreciation for the things we do in person but we have never once
received a thank you note or email or text from her. I know her family does not stand on such conventions.
This is even when I take her shopping and spend $300 on her. ( I adore her even so and am so thrilled –
I hit the jackpot with her). Recently she trained down for 5 nights with G’Son. We were thrilled
and honored that she felt comfortable enough with out S to spend such time with us.
When we hosted a party of 60 plus for S and DIL to meet each others family (they had a very quick town hall vows and
nothing more–except a baby… ;;). I was super frustrated that her side never RSVP’s. It was super nice and
catered and I needed a headcount. Her mother’s response was that “our family doesn’t do that” (RSVP).
Oof. I’d have been tempted to say, “It will be too bad if we run out of food for people who didn’t let us know they were coming.” Of course, I wouldn’t have said it. But I’d have been annoyed, too.
Why is it only the bride’s responsibility? When D was married , she wrote all of the thank you notes to our relatives/friends and SIL wrote the ones for his side.
My kids were brought up writing thank you notes for any gift that they received.
Yup, my S called for an address the other night. His bride-to-be (the wedding is in September so I guess they are “wonderful people” 
)was writing notes for gifts they’ve already received from her relatives/guests and he is writing the notes for his. Hers will be more legible, I guarantee.
Some of it must also be personalities. My two nieces of the same parents and of roughly same age are so different when it comes to thankyou notes. One is very prompt, the other writes once in a blue moon.
Both of my kids wrote thank you notes to relatives. I have NO idea whether they do so for friends.
DD and FSIL will write thank you notes when the time comes.
For little things…they send email thank you notes…but they always acknowledge receipt of a gift.
Instead of buying gifts for my nieces and nephews birthdays after their high school graduation, I started sending a card with a $10 scratch ticket to each of them. I’ve been doing this now for about 10 years or so. Not once has one of them mentioned receiving the card even though I see them at all holidays, family cookouts, etc. (they all live locally), yet I’ve asked occasionally if they were millionaires, I get the “oh yeah, thanks for the birthday card”. I decided this year to stop the tradition. If they can’t even mention it in passing, I’m not going to acknowledge their birthdays. I know its not much, less than $15 all said and done but if anyone won even $500 they would then be thankful. I think its very hurtful they don’t even mention receiving the cards. I can’t imagine my kids wouldn’t email or facebook a quick thanks (I’m friends with all of them on FB) if in fact any of siblings sent anything to them, which they do not. Spiteful I know, but I’ll own that.
I’m not sure my SIL sent out thank you notes after the wedding. My daughter sent them out to anyone that was her friend or relative but she left it up to her husband to do his people. I kind of doubt it, but I’m not stepping in there. I’m guessing that she will get the blame for that since she’s “the wife”, but not my problem.
Two of the loveliest thank you notes I have ever received were from millennials. . One was from the D of close friends when we gave her money for her master’s degree graduation. She did not have a party and wasn’t expecting anything. She mentioned how she always felt close to our family and how she loved that her family comes to our house every year for Thanksgiving.
The other note was really unexpected. It was from a friend of D’s who served as one of her bridesmaids. She thanked H and me for paying for lodging and meals for the weekend for the entire bridal party.