<p>Many of us have worked outside the home. Many of us have had long careers. One of the most unpleasant experiences in my life was being stabbed in the back by someone at work. This is on my mind because I have been invited to a “mini-reunion” of past employees. A couple of these jerks will be present and, because of them, I am strongly considering not attending.</p>
<p>Have you ever been sold out, betrayed, stabbed in the back by someone at work? Does it still prey on your mind?</p>
<p>Yes and no. I learned that “work friends” are not often real friends and act with that in mind at all times. In the end it all worked out for the best anyway.</p>
<p>Yes, so I have no desire to attend any work reunions. Actually, I probably wouldn’t attend one anyway. </p>
<p>As for preying on my mind, no it doesn’t. However, I do remember them and it has made me cautious in talking to others about certain things. Other than that, they are out of my life and unimportant to me. I will admit to a certain level of satisfaction when you hear about their actions coming back to bite them.</p>
<p>Yes, but I haven’t thought about it in years. I was young and didn’t yet understand barrons excellent point that “work friends are not often real friends”. I learned from the experience. It was very upsetting at the time.</p>
<p>I had an extremely negative work experience around and related to the time S was born. It resulted in a sexual discrimination complaint against the (consulting) firm, the outcome of which completely demolished any respect I might ever have had for the owner, for my supervisor, for the HR manager, for lawyers in general, and for the “system”.</p>
<p>Op, I would feel no need to go to a reunion unless there are other people coming whom you really, really want to see.</p>
<p>Oh yes, and the offending managers still solicit my assistance from time-to-time … unpaid of course. “We could put your name on a paper!” Thanks but I have enough publications already. No way am I attending a get together with those duplicitous folks.</p>
<p>When anyone “stabs me in the back” at my workplace, I fire them. One of the few perks of running your own company.</p>
<p>Betrayed is a strong word. In my 50’s, I worked with
Someone I would describe as a mean girl, with perfect looks and smile. I watched her go after new employees, very subtly. When she came after me, I was not surprised, but shocked atq the level of betrayal. One of the few people in my life that I could say I disliked. I never confronted her directly, but I felt strongly she was the worm in barrel of apples. I did speak to a colleague, who later became her boss. </p>
<p>All I can say is that I feel happy, with my relationships with b/f and son and my work. I doubt she will find such contentment in her life. A small mind, no matter how they yell, remains a small voice.</p>
<p>Yes, but payback’s a b*tch. Of course, it is always least expected.</p>
<p>I had never experienced betrayal until I worked as a teacher in a private school that determined raises based on “merit pay”. What that really meant was that if you touted some idea or project, even if it wasn’t your idea or your work, then you’d get the higher raise too. Our “lead” teacher used to talk to the Head of the Lower School about all sorts of ideas and projects I came up with, as if they were her own. I used to think she just loved to brown-nose because she’s really insecure, but really it was her not-too-subtle way to make more money.</p>
<p>She also made sure she didn’t have the most difficult students, just like she also made sure she had the most generous parents. It had everything to do with her and nothing to do with making our “team” work well. Whenever I hear about discussion about teachers’ pay, I’ll always remember working at that private school and their awful “merit pay” method.</p>
<p>I discovered that a co-worker was going around, telling people about a mistake I had made at a previous job. He had always been nice to my face, so I was definitely shocked. In my field (engineering and fabrication detailing), I’d say it’s impossible to find anyone who has NOT made a mistake! So I guess it shouldn’t have bothered me, but it did.</p>
<p>Yes. A loooong time ago, but learned the lesson. I no longer socialize during ‘off hours’ (bbqs, meet for drinks, etc.). Will never fall in the trap again. I’m pleasant at work, but don’t need any more friends.</p>
<p>^^ Same here. I don’t like the people I work with now anyway, so it’s no big loss.</p>
<p>That’s one advantage to working at home with DH - I like my coworker!</p>
<p>I’m with Barrons. Friends at work, remain at work.</p>
<p>So glad you started this thread, Skyhook! I’m in the middle of a crappy sitution at work right now. I’ve all but decided to tender my resignation Monday effective the end of the month, and it’s partly due to pettiness and people trying to get ahead at the expense of others. I’ve accepted an offer with another agency but have no start date yet as the money has not come down. I also stand a better than good chance of being offered another job for which I interviewed. I have a long history of staying in bad situations way too long in the interestes of not being a “quitter,” or to benefit someone else, or to not give someone the satisfaction of driving me away. I’m tired of it, and I’m going to take the risk. If neither of these pan out, well, we won’t starve to death.</p>
<p>The friends at work and then at home issue is huge in government. I tell my staff clearly I am not your friend but I also make sure that they also know I am no one else’s friend either.
They are all my “favorites”- as long as they do their job.</p>
<p>I work in an office where everybody tells on everybody else for every little thing, constantly trying to get each other in trouble. One of the ladies I used to work with would even purposefully say things that didn’t make sense in context really loudly, so people who couldn’t hear my side of the conversation would think I was being belligerent with her and tell my boss-- which I wasn’t, and they did. The people that matter like to be as non-confrontational as possible about everything they do, so not enough is done to discourage this environment. IMO.</p>
<p>I document everything and try to keep to myself as much as possible. I do have some friends in the office that I really enjoy, but none of them work where I do or with any of the same people.</p>
<p>I like the people I work with well enough, but at the end of the day, I’m done and don’t want to spend any more time with them. Not big into office get togethers, parties, etc. Let me do my job and leave at quitting time. See ya in the morning!</p>
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<p>Same here, at least for the time being.</p>