I am very difficult to buy for, I get it, but really?
My spouse gave me the gift of a snack box. (I’m gluten free and diary free, so at least he got that right). It’s the kind of thing you’d send a kid studying for finals. And I seriously hope he didn’t pay much for it because everything in there is like the individually wrapped stuff that people end up sending to the food pantry after they try one serving of whatever it is and realize that they have no desire to eat any more of it. Nothing new and exciting. It’s all stuff that seems like leftovers.
My daughter didn’t do much better. A set of Christmas coasters and kitchen towels. Don’t get me wrong. I would have liked coasters and kitchen towels. But these are Christmas, and while I do Christmas for the sake of my husband and kids, it’s not MY holiday.
Want to start a thread with Worst Presents My Spouse Got Me? I could add some to that list. One, early in our marriage, even made me burst into (sad) tears on opening it. So now I am very specific and either tell him exactly what I want, or even go so far as to buy it and give it to him to give to me.
The first pet I had as an adult was a cat named Caesar. When Caesar died a year or two after we married, I was devastated. It took me a year to get over it. Christmas came three months after Caesar’s death. My husband was so pleased with himself about how thoughtful he had been. I unwrapped my last, “big” present with anticipation . . . And it was gravestone for Caesar. I burst into tears.
With more than 30 years of hindsight, I can say my husband was trying very hard.
I’ve reached the point that it doesn’t matter what I get or if I get nothing at all. I accept a gift graciously. If I can use it, I will. If it’s useless, it’ll sit in my garage until I give it to Goodwill. If they ask, "did you use it?"I tell them, “Yeah! Totally!” Maybe it’s a white lie, but I don’t like hurting anyone’s feelings.
Feeling judged about the quality of my gifts to friends or relatives has caused me stress over the years…it’s taken me time to no longer mind. And in some cases we have stopped exchanging gift cards or cash.
I make every effort to be a gracious recipient. After all, they thought of me! But I do try with DH to give good hints/instructions because on his own, the results are – interesting. I have received enough socks from him to last a lifetime. So many, in fact, that DS asked if he’d needed to show he had a wholesaler’s license to buy so many!
I feel like overall, I am a pretty tuned in gift giver. And yet, I miss sometimes. I was thrilled with a very soft and luxurious throw I bought for an older relative and then surprised to see it on my sister’s sofa a month later. It had been “too much” for the older person, and she’d given to my sister who was visiting and complimented it. Sigh. It made me sad to have gotten that wrong, but it served as a good reminder that some of those miscalculations-- like a lifetime of socks – may have somehow felt inspired to the giver.
My niece gave me a HUGE 16 oz or larger pokemon mug. It was very thoughtful but honestly it is way too big and not a size I’d use. Also, I rarely drink hot beverages.
Fortunately, I gave it away tonight in a gift grab bag and the recipient was thrilled as she plays the game and collects mugs.
My SisIL was always giving me clothing in sizes that never fit me AT ALL. To be fair she had no idea of my size and probably wasn’t thrilled with my gifts to her either.
H rarely gives me gifts but never complains with anything I buy for myself or anyone else.
I’ve never been insulted but my husband while a very good person is not a gift giver. I gave up a long time ago, he’s terrible at it. He’s awkward, he hates shopping and apparently gifts are not my love language. So why force it. Besides we have everything we need and most of what we want.
My ex sil, my husband’s brother gave some great ones . My sil who wears plain muted dark colors. Black and more black, sometimes a muted burgundy and never ever prints. One year my sil is wearing a yellow Dale of Norway sweater. It was a gorgeous sweater, it was very much my taste and very not hers. There she is wearing this printed yellow sweater that is an incredibly awful color for her. I literally laughed out loud.
He went into a very nice store in town, one my sil had probably never been in and bought all these clothes. A store my sil would probably never even shop in because it was so not her taste. I’m positive she never wore that sweater after Christmas Day.
My ex sil never gave up thinking her husband would buy her a great gift and maybe that’s why they are no longer married.
I’ve been married for 33 years and got over the Hallmark movie fairytale of my husband coming up with perfectly thoughtful gifts by year 3 of marriage. I have no doubt that there are spouses out there that effectively pick up on hints and who nail the gift-giving without a single prompt but alas, my husband is not one of those people
We do suggested gift lists in my family and it works nicely. This year, I bought two of my own gifts from my husband on Black Friday because they had great deals and would definitely sell out (my husband likes to wait until the last minute to shop). He went rogue on a 3rd gift and got me, wait for it, car mats. In his defense, they are for a new car that we got a few weeks ago, which was really great.
I’ve told both my girls to cut to the chase in their relationships and ask for/drop heavy hints for gift purposes. My one daughter poo-pooed me at first and ended up with a photo blanket with a giant picture of her and her boyfriend. Now she sends him a link to a gift list
I am not easily insulted. My husband has given me a vacuum many years as a Christmas gift. This may be a classic no-no for a gift for a spouse. I was always happy to receive them.
My husband still hasn’t made good on my Christmas present from 2019…a cruise around the Hawaiian Islands. He will get it eventually.
Not me, but this is funny. My previous MIL got a Lawn Boy Lawn Mower for Christmas (she never mowed the lawn). She commented “well…I’ll try to put my dishes in this to clean them”. She wanted a dishwasher…
My husband has gotten me a few duplicates. This year I got very pretty garnet earrings. I already have garnet earrings, but this pair is round and the others are a tear drop shape. Really that’s fine!
I want to win this one :)…
Just kidding, but the talking scale my now ex-husband gave me while I was pregnant was a pretty terrible Christmas gift.
He also got me a chimney cover once. Those are the two I can remember off the top of my head.
We have not done gift exchanges in our family for many years but, in our earlier days, these were the winners:
DH gave me a paper cutter for Christmas one year as my “big” present because he recalled how much work cutting and collating bulletins for our church was the one time I volunteered. (Really? I could have used the paper cutter at the church if I had wanted to do the cutting/collating over there but preferred to be home doing it over coffee with a couple of friends using the tools at hand.)
The $320 Neiman Marcus purse that I promptly returned to purchase the identical object from another source for $49. I didn’t tell him (I pay the bills).
The itsy-bitsy lingerie mailed to me from in-laws well past the honeymoon years of our marriage. Only took up an itsy-bitsy space in the trash can.
But, it goes both ways: DH took me to a fancy restaurant for my BD one year and presented me with a beautiful emerald ring for dessert. I accepted graciously that night but, a few days later, “wondered” if we could exchange it for a new oven… He didn’t buy me jewelry again for a couple of decades, but I loved the oven.
My husband had his (female) co-worker help him pick out my engagement ring and since no one ever thought about what type I might like presented it with “you can change it to something else if you want to”. So I did. And he used it as an excuse to never buy me jewelry again.
. My sil who wears plain muted dark colors. Black and more black, sometimes a muted burgundy and never ever prints. One year my sil is wearing a yellow Dale of Norway sweater. It was a gorgeous sweater, it was very much my taste and very not hers. There she is wearing this printed yellow sweater that is an incredibly awful color for her. I literally laughed out loud.
