I’ve been gifting / being gifted cashmere socks this holiday season. 
3 Likes
There have been a few occasions where my husband missed the mark or gave low effort gifts. But he’s generally a very good gift giver. I got a surprise balloon ride one year. Other than being woken up at the crack of dawn during a time when my oldest was waking me up several times a night (he got the neighbor to babysit her during the ride), it was great. He knows to never get me kitchen items.
This Christmas he got me and my girls corduroy shirt jacs from llbean and Hoka sneakers. We were all happy.
We never let my husband live down the gift he gave me for my 45th birthday. He went into Nordstroms and asked the sale woman for suggestions; he said he wanted something for me to wear on a Saturday night out. It is my understanding the woman may have been in her 60s. When I opened the gift with the children watching, I pull out this Barney purple top and elastic waist pants. My 15 year old daughter fell to the floor in a fit of laughter! The outfit was totally not me, and ugly to boot. I am not sure which department he was in, but it was not one I ever went in.
One other year he asked one of my friends where to shop, so she sent him to a boutique where we would get a few items; our teen girls also shopped there, so not everything was for our age group. He came home with a cropped top that maybe I would let me daughter out in, but at my age, it is not a top I would wear. Again, gift returned and he was never allowed to buy clothes other than for himself.
10 Likes
One time, my mom gave me for Xmas a set of 8 4-oz juice glasses. When I opened the box, she said, “Your glasses are way too big. I don’t like drinking orange juice out of them. These are for me to use when I come here to visit.”
She would only come to visit twice a year.
I donated them. And then the next time she came to visit 6 months later, the first thing she asked was “Where are the juice glasses I gave you?” 
3 Likes
My husband does not give me gifts. He’s terrible at it and just wants me to get myself whatever I want. I don’t really feel a need for gifts but my adult daughters want to get me stuff. They often gave me stuff I didn’t really like so when they started asking fir wish list I gave it to them.
I am however an excellent gift giver. I have had people tell me that it’s the best present they ever got. One of my “tricks” is to buy something that is very expensive for what it is….so people don’t want to get it for themselves but like it. I also really try to listen to people to get copies to what they like. Here are some of my big” hits”
For a friend who do NYT spelling bee every day and would excitedly text us when she got Queen Bee: a Tshirt from the NYT gift shop with the bee on it.
For a friend who travels between multiple AirBnB’sin winter and was complaining about how their spice cabinets are never good in the rentals this travel spice collection. https://www.amazon.com/MONGPIENS-Silicone-Collapsible-Seasoning-container/dp/B0BCK3CPZ7/ref=sr_1_6?crid=3FAYRRZ23BMH0&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.yYal7klRdkln9xUqqxhzpzitQApeFCEDOfeOQmkCSez6XNH13gI23MonD71FKUbjm39JlonvsOyGeaAWmfToD61Bj1MhPAX8h8WYerkVaYeAwO7nbguNTIHXpAN49rwiQH5-RBKodUAptY-btVCIiklLMvrImGOTUBfb6GsWOm9kgCpmN1rQ6PA3ldvsHDPFaylDqugWnPhyrFUYoeXtiHqr2P8wSJyB4J-R3MroiuLnyGGw6xhkf8HZkWd0jGcRjV1dj8w_hTvw1OyMwSrLiXcNJmOfRHX1jJeRqLzSXSPeoe73tPy8Hv2f7ifP7WIytgvWb2q2Maj59F2MpHsZIAW2AnTwNXoLTMKJRpPqkrmNhspWsEQyrk21ZTpXZNXwEGsi-lO9zTEtehX9xsDYnSNcsUpl1XJ2_-Pj9q_HiTYlcfKIAp-sm_xwNMIkqGyV.uyvmlsDBvVPmpO2IJddK8f1NE0LeoABuyZyd8WhimuE&dib_tag=se&keywords=travel%2Bspice%2Bkit&qid=1735235172&sprefix=Travel%2Bspi%2Caps%2C142&sr=8-6&th=1
For my hair dresser who would talk about not wanting to ruin her newly styled hair in the shower because shower caps still let in moisture: The relatively expensive SSSSSShower cap. https://shhhowercap.com/
5 Likes
My husband bought me an expensive knife sharpener this year for Christmas. It is his job to sharpen the knives in our house. 
12 Likes
One year I received a pink cordless screwdriver. I laughed and replied it is lucky that gifts is not my love language! Since then, I’ve prepared a very detailed list of items easily found and I’ve been very happy to receive them!
3 Likes
Along the same lines of having a list, I prefer to ask what the recipient would like to receive. It’s quite rare that I’d know the recipient better than they know themselves, such that I could pick something that the recipient would like better than they could. Further complicating the matter, it’s rare to receive accurate feedback about a gift, so I may keep making the same type of mistake year after year instead of avoiding genres that didn’t hit the mark. Asking also does not remove the is element of surprise, as the recipient does not know which item on the list I will choose or how I will modify.
Regarding bad gifts, one that still gets discussed more than 30 years later, is my mother got my father a bib for Christmas. The reasoning was he was the sole earner, so no need to waste his money on something expensive, and she thought he’d find the bib useful.
5 Likes
My non-Asian in-laws once gave me a rice cooker for my birthday.
I wasn’t insulted they gave me a rice cooker.
I was insulted it was a Sunbeam.
9 Likes
My husband once got a tall upright vacuum for me/us. I loved it since it was the right size for him, and he was very willing to use it. I called it ‘the gift that comes with parts and labor’.
10 Likes
My sister and I have been taking bridge lessons. I gave her a booklet that you can refer to when bidding. It easily fits in a purse.
She gave me a card table that I ‘can just leave in my car for when we need to play bridge at other people’s houses.’ Great. A table for my car.
5 Likes
Historically, I’ve been asked for (and given) wishlists. Or sometimes if I see something unique, I will buy it and then let put it in a “gift” area with the receipt if someone wants to get that for me. My spouse tends to be a last minute shopper (one year he asked me to go out with him to the mall on Christmas Eve for me to find something I wanted 
). And more years than not, I have bought my own presents and then he will wrap them.
This past year for my b-day, however, was a low point. The only gifts I got were ones that I had purchased myself (didn’t take the time to get anything off the wishlist or anything impromptu) and then my aunt ended up wrapping the presents, because my spouse doesn’t really like wrapping and we were helping my mom out at the time. And he didn’t even pick out a card for me.
Since I tend to put a lot of thought and/or time into the gifts I get people (whether it’s something I make or purchase), the presents part of that birthday annoyed me since I felt like there was no thought/time put into mine. So several weeks ago I told my spouse that I wanted him to get me a gift that he thought I would like or that made him think of me. Also, I reminded him that we usually do 3 packages/person (sometimes a package might have multiple things).
Well, though he and the kid waited until close to the last minute (shopped on the 22nd), they ended up going over the top. I have 7 packages (still opening them during the 12 days of Christmas) and an early one the kid didn’t want to wait until Christmas to give me. So though there are things I’ve received that I might not have selected myself, I love the fact that they were thinking of me.
But a bad present? Well, I haven’t gotten a bad one, but in the early years of our marriage he got an item from the fine jewelry section for me, but we were not financially well off, and even though it had been on clearance, it was too much for my frugal self to endure, and ended up getting returned.
4 Likes
Couldn’t read the linked article due to paywall.
Here is a gift link to the article.
2 Likes
I honestly haven’t cared about gifts since I was a teen (oh, and did I ever want that ten speed bike!). My birthday is a few days after Christmas, so I don’t think I ever expected anything for my birthday … I got over that early, because I got so many “for your birthday and Christmas” gifts. I actually appreciate it now, because I’m incredibly low maintenance in the gift department!
8 Likes
Not Christmas and more the absence of a gift rather than a bad gift…. My first Mother’s Day as a mom and my 30th birthday fell on the same day…. And my husband forgot them both. No card, no gift, no making me breakfast, no helping with the night time feedings or early morning duty for our then-six week old. Nothing.
That baby is 20 now and obviously I still remember it…
18 Likes
Oh, that would have made me cry, for sure.
4 Likes
Oh, that rots. I would have been so sad.
1 Like
Similar situation my first Mother’s Day. I had given birth less than a month before to our first and the day unfolded and nothing. I was so upset that I actually said something at the end of the day – I was raised to be anti-confrontational so this was a BIG deal for me. I didn’t scream or cry (that I remember), and I think my calmness really affected dh. Every year since, I get breakfast in bed, he arranges now a group FaceTime with the kids, presents, the works. Sometimes, actually saying what you need works!
12 Likes