My youngest son bought me a $98 sweater from Madewell. Way, way too much!! But he seemed proud to buy it for me. It was too small, so we took it back today to get a larger size in a different color. Of course I made over it.
I tried it on again at home and will never wear that sweater. It’s so hot at 30% wool and a little scratchy, not too Mention a faux turtleneck.
He did tell me to get whatever I wanted, but I remember always being disappointed that my dad never liked anything I got him. Was always gracious but told me why it wouldn’t work out after he opened it. I got to the point where I thought why should I even bother.
So, I don’t want to be like that. But I feel so bad that it cost so much and I can’t bring myself to wear it for him to see me in it.
What would you do? Exchange it and tell him ? Exchange it and not say anything? Just keep it…but I’ll never wear it! It’s so expensive I’d like for him to see me wear it.
I would keep it, and I would make sure he saw me wear it at some point. It’s such a lovely gesture from him. I do think it would hurt his feelings if you exchanged it. Find an occasion that doesn’t take a lot of time and wear it
I think you’re right @chercheur . It gets chilly in our house in the middle of the afternoon. Perhaps one day while he’s home this week or Xmas I can put it on for awhile in the house. It’s just a bit uncomfortable and warm. It’s a thick sweater too.
Yes, my sons made arrangements for a local running store to fit me for either walking or running shoes last Christmas. I don’t run and never will. I walk and have good quality walking shoes for that from my sister. I thanked them for their thoughtfulness, but was just honest that I would not use the gift and already had sufficient shoes for walking (which they did not realize I had).
To this point, I’ve never exchanged a gift from my children, though some items are kept for special occasions when they are home. Including some macaroni jewelry from the elementary school years.
I have all that stuff too- I have a popsicle stick tray on my kitchen counter, kid pottery on a mantel, etc. My kids though are young adults now and hopefully can handle an honest exchange about gifting. Older son and his long term girlfriend were just at my house this weekend and I made a point to use a nice platter they got me. They seemed pleased to see it being used!
I’d keep it this time and wear it occasionally when he is around. Going forward, send links of stuff you like before birthdays, Xmas, etc. I send my kids links to more stuff than I know they will buy so there are choices and surprises.
Wow, it’s just one gift! You can clearly and fully love the gesture but not the gift!
Put the shoe on the other foot - would you want him to keep a fairly expensive gift you bought him that he would never use?
Did you see anything else in Madewell that you liked? They have fantastic jeans/pants! I would just say “son, I really think this sweater is just not the right fabric choice for me - but I remember seeing other items in the store I liked - I’m going to exchange this sweater for ____ - it was so generous of you to gift me something from that nice store - I can’t wait to pick another item out!”
It’s not a waste, @thumper1, if it means a lot to the son. He seems to have taken great joy in selecting something nice for his mom. Preserving that joy is worth a lot more than $98. Keep it, mom! Now the husband is a different story :))
Well, most people spend some time thinking about thoughtful gifts but many people are totally clueless! Gifting expensive candles, body lotion, etc. to a person who has never shown any interest in these things comes to mind. My sister is not into candles yet keeps getting a candle from a friend’s daughter. She has been in her home numerous times and my sister has never had a candle going! Regifting comes to mind but hopefully not.
I see no reason to keep expensive gifts you don’t like or need . I get a gift receipt these days for easier exchange, ask directly for links or ideas, give gift cards , etc. And look for experience type gifts. I give food type gifts at Christmas for H’s siblings families,things i know they like.
I’d be careful about being too enthusiastic about it of perhaps you may get more similar sweaters in other colors! Maybe I’d say I really like this but especially your thoughtfulness on getting me such a nice gift, but think one heavy wool turtleneck is plenty for me.
D and SIL bought me a nice pair of earrings. I have worn the same diamond studs for 25 yrs and never change them.
They nicely gave me the gift receipt and I did return them. No one seems to have hard feelings. Perhaps this is because I have been very clear that I prefer a gift is returned instead of not used which is a waste of money.
It seems to work for our family.
I did, however, goof with DIL when she gave me a cell phone case with a photo of G’Son. It was poorly made and I
had it on the phone the next time I saw her but never after and she mentioned it.
I’d probably return it, reluctantly though. $98 is too much to spend on something I would never wear. Besides, madewell has such cute stuff,I know you could find something you would wear all the time.
And I too, hate a wool turtleneck. They look so cute, but I wouldn’t be able to wear it for more than a moment.
My kids would rather I got something I would wear all the time.
I would never return a gift my kids give me. I may exchange for the right size, but not for another style or color. I could get whatever I want, so to have another item sitting in closet not being used is not the worst thing, but to hurt my kids’ feelings is something I wouldn’t do.
We have no problem exchanging gifts but I try not to do it too much if they are from the kids. We have always had a super open policy that if you don’t like it do not be embarrassed to return it, I would rather have everyone have something they like than have something not get used.
My mother did have to let my brother down a few years in a row. He was in his early 20’s and buying things for her without my dad’s input for the first time I think. One year he got her a big gourmet coffee gift set - she has never had a cup of coffee in her life! We laughed so hard that he didn’t realize that.
The next year he was extra thoughtful. My mom likes birds, not a birdwatcher or anything but always had feeders in the yard and would make sure the water in the bird bath stayed melted in the winter -things like that. Christmas morning we found a giant bird cage and two songbirds under the tree!! :)) She felt terrible having to tell him that she likes birds but she did not want them in the house. He was able to return the birds but not the cage so that sat in our basement for years until they had a garage sale.
@oregon101 My MIL does that to me for every single holiday! I do not wear much jewelry, wedding ring and small earrings and a necklace or bracelet once in a blue moon. MIL works at a consignment store and bring me giant, gaudy earrings, bracelets and necklaces for each birthday and Christmas. Then she says, “I know you don’t wear much jewelry so if you don’t like it I’ll take it back.” What am I supposed to say?! Not very polite to say I don’t like it so I just keep it and never wear it. You figure she would take the hint and stop giving it to me but nope, I’m just ready to stash another thing away this Christmas.
How is returning a gift from your kids any different that returning a gift from your H or anyone else? It’s not like you’re hurting a five year olds feelings and refusing to hang the macaroni ornament on the Christmas tree!!!
Sometimes we hit it with gifts, sometimes we miss. All of us.
Also, it’s not like you just hate the sweater - it is actually a not good experience to wear it. Would you want a family member to keep a pair of shoes that were too tight for them?
