My aunt would buy me sweaters or scarves in orange or olive green. Those colors look great on her, but awful on me. So, i asked if I could buy my gifts for her to give me. The first year I bought a beautiful book of Emily Dickinson poems. I had my aunt write a message to me in it. I told her it was my favorite book. The next year, she bought me a t-shirt at Disney world of Mallificent. I still love that shirt. The next year, a Hook coffee mug. (There is a villain shop in DW). And so on.
When my aunt was ill, I bought her a necklace with a healing crystal , which she wore a lot. Also, dry shampoo ( you put it on, it foams like real shampoo, then brushes out).
My kids have never included a gift receipt. Since your S did, it’s perfectly reasonable to exchange the sweater for something you’d prefer. He was thoughtful to give you a gift & thoughtful to include the receipt, giving you permission to exchange.
I think it’s completely fine to exchange a gift that just doesn’t work. It’s possible to appreciate the loving gesture that gave it to you and ooh and aah over the gift while sadly acknowledging that it doesn’t work. @conmama, you sound like you’re on the verge of allergic to the sweater. He sounds open to the exchange too. If you find something you really love, maybe he’ll appreciate your delight in that? It really sounds like what he truly wanted to do was to give you something nice.
Update: Your exchange sounds perfect. I know he’ll be happy that you found just the right thing.
I do think it’s important to make sure that the gift giving is fussed over whether the gift itself is kept or exchanged. My daughters bought a necklace for me over the summer and they were nervous doing so because it could not be exchanged. One of them told the other, “If she doesn’t like it, I’m going to say you picked it out.” I hate to think they worry about stuff like that but as it happened, I loved it. I told them how much I loved it and I wear it often. And every single time I wear it and my youngest sees it she says with delight, “oh! You’re wearing the necklace!”
I have done both - kept things I really didn’t like to avoid hurting their feelings and exchanging it for something I will use. Keeping a giftt has led to getting a similar gift the next time (mostly earrings that are not real but look fancy). I certainly am thankful for everything, but also feel bad leaving the gifts in the box and never wearing them. After the third pair of similar earrings, I showed this particular kid that he had given me something very similar previously and so I exchanged the most recent pair and showed him what I bought instead.
One of my other sons is very good at picking out gifts that match my style.
I have also struggled with this with my DH. He has many wonderful qualities, but picking out gifts that match my style is definitely not one of them. No matter what, it is very hard to look at something like a sweater on a hanger and know how it will fit and what the right size should be. I now send him some links to things I would like. I wish he could pick out things to suprise me that I like, but it is really a minor issue at this point.
I don’t want to be the mom that never likes a gift, so really do keep most things. OTOH, I also hate it when my kids end up not wearing something I bought them, even when I tell them it is fine if they want to exchange it. And I try not to be hurt if someone doesn’t want to keep a gift. It is the thought that counts.