<p>Chronic and acute depression runs in my family and I have known those who have died from depression, including young teens. Ive been hospitalized several times from depression and for many years was in therapy and on medication which in someways made it much worse.
I cant speak for others but when I have attempted suicide it was because the pain was so severe that all that existed in my head was pain and making it stop. Nothing else.
So perhaps that was selfish because I was thinking about how it affected me.
But many people with depression (imo) could serve themselves better if they were more selfish with their time and energy so you wont find me labeling those who suffer from depression as " selfish" any more than people with cancer or heart disease.</p>
<p>I agree, ek - thanks for saying it so well. We can’t tell the depressed individual to just see that he’s better off than many others, any more than we can tell the person in a wheelchair to just stand up, or the person with COPD to just take a good deep breath. It’s an illness.</p>
<p>Great quote from Dr. Joiner in the article (this is an expert talking):
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<p>Excellent. </p>
<p>Thank you, ek and frazzled.</p>
<p>The best artwork I have ever seen explaining depression from the point of view of the depressed:</p>
<p>[Hyperbole</a> and a Half: Depression Part Two](<a href=“http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html]Hyperbole”>Hyperbole and a Half: Depression Part Two)</p>
<p>Hanna – that is amazing – I’d never seen that before. It really nails the feeling.</p>
<p>Wow, does it ever.</p>
<p>I wish. I’d wear that experience like a badge. Oh, and sadness… yeah, I’m sure some of that would crawl up.</p>
<p>My cousin died of a drug overdose last summer, though.</p>
<p>Im sorry for your loss emberjed, but is there a reason why you think the overdose was intentional?
Some meds have a therapeutic dose that is close to an overdose, making it difficult to regulate treatment. Its possible that my father took an accidental overdose of his meds, rather than intentional, because people can be disorientated and not realize the level of the drug already in their system.
The pain meds I am taking for instance are notorious for accidental overdosing, so I am being careful but its also important not to let the pain get away from you because then it is even harder to control it again.
Illegal drugs are also hard to determine dose because not so many studies on the medication.</p>
<p>I think sometimes some of us don’t know that some people around us are suffering from depression. Many sufferers are functional, fully employed, high-earning and sometimes seemingly happy people. They may not fit the image of what some of us may have of what a depressed person should be like, so we’re not “clued in” to the fact that the person is suffering. </p>
<p>The person in our social circle is a “jokey” kind of person, frequently telling funny stories, etc. So, the idea that he was suffering from serious and chronic depression just didn’t fit the image that us lay folks would have in mind. </p>
<p>For quite awhile, we were mystified by his seemingly unreasonable complaints. We had a couple of mutual dear friends suffering from advanced-stage cancer, so we couldn’t understand his “why me?” complaints about things like a sprained ankle, or a stuffy nose. Those complaints seemed so “over the top” in contrast to what we were seeing our cancer friends enduring with their treatments. </p>
<p>Yes, we’ve tried to be understanding and sympathetic once we suspected and then learned about the Dx. But prior to that it just seemed like a hypochondriac and whiney person complaining about “life’s bumps in the road.” </p>
<p>So, when we hear some of these complaints, we may not realize that we’re hearing the words from a depressed person (or child). We may just think that they’re being unreasonable and they need to “grow up”. </p>
<p>I can see how children suffering from depression would often get misunderstood. </p>
<p>I think as we all learn more about this disease, the signs of the disease, etc, we’ll be more clued in and understanding.</p>
<p>My mother took her life when I was 25. She had a history of depression and could not cope with my father’s death two years earlier.</p>
<p>For many years, I just put one foot in front of the other…and allowed my busy life to conceal my loss and pain. And guilt. </p>
<p>Just recently, I’m in therapy for the first time in my life. Although I sought help for a specific challenge, it’s a convenient opportunity to look at feelings I’ve kept submerged a long time.</p>
<p>My heart goes out to all those who have lost loved ones.</p>
<p>I learned on monday that this man’s father committed suicide when he was a child. Apparently he always swore that he would never do that to his children because of the devastating effect it had on his own life. He had suffered from debilitating depression for several years. The counselors tried to explain to us that, at that moment in time, his pain was so great that somehow in his own logic suicide seemed like the best solution. It is hard for those of us who have not been there to fathom that. His best friend was shocked but not surprised. This man had so many people who really loved him. So sad.</p>
<p>My BIL’s father, Roger, killed himself when my BIL was three years old. My BIL is now 72. When the grandchildren were born, my BIL’s mother said to my sister, “Roger has no idea what he’s missing.”</p>
<p>So sad.</p>
<p>Hyperbole and a Half: Depression Part Two is probably the best description of depression I’ve read. Thanks for the link.</p>
<p>musicmom – I am so sorry for your loss. To lose both parents is a wound. A severe wound. I’m glad you are now in therapy. May I humbly suggest you ask your therapist if EMDR would work for you. It’s working for me (different set of circumstances which I would disclose via PM if you are interested).</p>
<p>swimcatsmom – this man may have been depressed all his life because of his father’s suicide, and struggled to have a regular life, but just gave up the struggle. </p>
<p>I think, as mom2collegekids said, we don’t always know when someone in our life is suffering from depression. There’s so much pressure to hide our feelings (especially at work), and I think American culture puts a premium on a kind of upbeat, “can do” spirit that trumphs over adversity (even mental illness). So to admit you’re sad, or you haven’t gotten over that break up with your girlfriend, or you find it hard to care about things anymore – that’s kind of a no-no in our society. </p>
<p>I don’t pretend that these topics should be discussed with strangers, but I think each of us can try to be more open to our friends and colleagues who seem down. Therapy helps, as does some medication. There is no shame in this.</p>
<p>@emeraldkity4: It was heroin, not perscription drugs, and I don’t think it was intentional; that’s why I claimed not to have known anyone who’d committed suicide.</p>