<p>My parents just told me that attending one of my schools was out of the question. I had just visited it this weekend and I 100% loved it for the most part, so I was pretty upset. One of the reasons they gave was that the school was too far away, and they felt like they wouldn’t be able to visit me if I needed them. They cited one case where my very independent friend felt unhappy about her school and wanted to drop out, and then her parents needed to visit her there. </p>
<p>However, I really doubt that’s the norm for most college students. I wanted to ask this question here, since this is a question highly pertaining to parents here. Has there ever been a case where you NEEDED to visit your kid due to an emergency? Or what about anyone else you know? I don’t really think it is necesarry, and I can’t think of a reason why it would be in most cases, but I’d like a more balanced perspective on this. I don’t want location to be the only thing stopping me from attending my dream school.</p>
<p>Emergency Appendectomy. Viral pneumonia. Emergency abdominal surgery. Broken jaw in a “pick up” basketball game.</p>
<p>Four different kids (not all mine). Stuff happens. The parents in question went because THEY needed to be there, not because the medical staff couldn’t handle the problem.</p>
<p>I’ve never had to visit because of an emergency. I don’t know of any other parents who have either. It would be a plane ride for me, but fortunately, nothing has ever come up.</p>
<p>Couple of my friends’ kids had major, unexpected, mental health crises while at school. The parents needed to go to the school. Another friend’s son was mugged and hospitalized. Parents needed to go to the school. Another friend’s daughter slipped on a hillside the evening after being dropped off at school after winter break. Broke her ankle. Parents had to pick her up to bring her home for surgery…</p>
<p>I could go on, and on.</p>
<p>Is it common? No. Does it happen? Yes. Could it be expensive? Yes, if last minute plane tickets and a car rental are involved.</p>
<p>Blossom, do you mean the parents wanted to be there or needed to be there? For a medical situation where my kid might need some assistance such as after surgery, I would fly to his/her location. In the situations Blossom describes, it’s good that the parents could be there, but getting there within 24 hours instead of within 3 hours, for example, probably wouldn’t make a difference in terms of safety/well being of the student. </p>
<p>Is distance the only objection your parents have?</p>
<p>Prefect- yes, parents wanted to be there, but it’s not like the kid wasn’t being well cared for in the hospital. It’s not like a kid will hold off calling 911 until mommy arrives!!! And unless mommy is a trauma surgeon, Mom is more help after the fact.</p>
<p>Yep, I know several people who have gone to their kids’ schools because of a health crisis. Small percentage of people I know with kids in college, so it wouldn’t be a factor for me.</p>
<p>I am a nurse, I would NEED to be there if my child was sick/ injured. I would not be comfortable without being part of the decision making.</p>
<p>My son is going to alabama- age of consent is 19. So for the first year, we need to be available legally (though some of that can be done telephonically).</p>
<p>Are your parents afraid of flying, or is it a cost issue?</p>
<p>Let me get this straight…they let you apply…they let you go to an accepted student day (presumably making a LONG trip)…but they will now not allow you to attend? My guess is there is another reason for this change of heart. </p>
<p>Perhaps finances?</p>
<p>Our kid was 3000 miles away and DID have a medical emergency. Luckily we have close friends and relatives who were able to be there…even IF I had hopped a plane, I would have missed the surgery. The post op was not an issue. AND as noted above…the medical staff was awesome and because our kid put us (and about ten others on her privacy form when admitted) we were contacted by the doctors every step of the way.</p>
<p>I just can’t believe someone would send their kid on an accepted college visit to a far away place and THEN say they couldn’t go. There has to be additonal reasoning behind this.</p>
<p>Chaos…have you gotten all of your finances sorted out. Your parents want you to go to Vandy which is close to home and the best cost for your family. Could this be one of the reasons for their opinion?</p>
<p>No I have not NEEDED to be there. My oldest (3 plane rides or 18 hour drive away or 2-day Amtrak trip) was in Emergency one time and had a plate and screws put in his leg another time. Fortunately #2 has had no major illnesses or hospitalizations as he is also a great distance away. We did not travel to get to son one…in both cases he would have been out of the hospital by the time we got there. I agree with Blossom…more often it’s the parents needing to be there.</p>
<p>My son was in a major car accident this past Fall. Against my better judgement, I did not go but other family members (his Aunt, his great Aunt, his uncle) etc did. While I wasn’t needed for the surgery and his Aunt and Uncle cared for him afterwards, I regret that I did not go.</p>
<p>I was there this January as the surgery was repeated since it didn’t “take” the first time. </p>
<p>For me, giving him the right environment to heal was very important. The dorm wasn’t it. In fact, we ended up doing a retroactive medical withdrawal for first semester because he didn’t heal properly.</p>
<p>I know of several parents that have had to go to schools because of health reasons. Some mental (they seem to pop up at college) and some for illnesses/surgeries. The mental health issues are not optional. The students needed to be brought home.</p>
<p>I suspect, though, in this case that there are other reasons bubbling up as Thumper suggests.</p>
<p>Are they worried about it being a financial burden if they felt they needed to see you? </p>
<p>My kids are all in far away places. I guess I think they should be able to experience the big wide world. It’s scary, though, as a parent at times, I admit. And not everyone thinks that way. And my kids are very independent people. Sometimes I wish they needed me just a little bit more than they do!</p>
<p>Very glad that skyping is available nowadays.</p>
<p>I think it’s a combination of the location and two things:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>The school is a very small LAC that most laypeople don’t know about (including my parents, until I got accepted), and I think my parents don’t understand its value. (Plus, they can’t brag about it to their friends) Also, my mom said she didn’t feel welcomed on campus.</p></li>
<li><p>We have a very complicated FA situation, where in short, my parents are getting an astronomically high amount of need-based aid for their income. After meeting with the financial aid office there, they said that they wanted to look further into our finances, and my parents weren’t happy about that. I guess they wouldn’t be able to buy their third house? But that is a discussion for another thread.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>So, interpreted for the rest of us, they are looking for an excuse for you not to go there because it is not “prestigious” enough for them to tell their friends about…got it…</p>
<p>I would LOVE to tell you that it will all be okay in the end; after all, you were accepted to ALOT of great schools…but it sounds like you have bigger fish to fry with this issue…</p>
<p>Yes I guess I do. After hearing about my parent’s FA concerns and knowing that none of my schools can match up with Vandy’s offer, I decided to go the opposite route and suggest that I go to a school that is virtually free due to my National Merit Scholarship. No luck there either.</p>
<p>And I don’t think prestige is the only issue, but I think since my parents haven’t heard of it before, they have a preconcieved notion that it can’t be good enough for me. They are also worried about the wet campus. (Ha - like Vandy is any better!) Despite the school producing a ton of great graduates in the field I want to go to, nothing I tell them can change their opinion about the school.</p>
</p>