Honda Kota, the 51-year-old NBC host who just released her third book Where They Belong: The Best Decisions That People Almost Never Made, revealed that although she is highly fulfilled with her life, the thing missing is children.
There have been, supposedly, questions asked by columnists (Anne’s) that asked if you could do it again, parenting, would you? They claim a large percentage of parents said NO. Many claim it was the times. Late 1900’s.
I bring this up because my D1, 27, has said she does not think she wants children. I told her that is entirely her choice, obviously. I have to admit, I do have some opinions about this. I willI keep them to myself.
I know all of you love, love, love your children. But is there a part of you that would not do it again? Or maybe have fewer? Or More?
I have not regretted mY kids either. I even planned a second child, fairly certain that I would wind up divorced. I am an only child, and I thought it would be best for my son to have a sibling.
I would have had more. It just never happened. I was blessed with 2 who are 18 months apart and then it was like someone turned a switch off - no more came. Our original plan was 4. If I got pregnant today I would be thrilled to death.
It has been the most amazing thing I have ever done. Do not regret it, and would absolutely do it again – sort of wish I had a third, but don’t wish for a third tuition.
I love my children more than anybody or anything in life. I have found tremendous meaning in life from being a parent. But I never would have chosen to be a single parent, not because I think there is anything inherently wrong with that choice but because it would have been a bad choice for me. And I’ve been thrust into being a single parent, and I think my children have suffered from having only one functioning parent, and I feel horrible about that, even though I think I’m quite a good parent.
No regrets at all. I have four children. I married thinking that I didn’t want any but in time I changed my mind. I’m so thankful that I did. My greatest joy now is watching them become responsible adults ( all are over 18) and spending time with them. I am truely blessed to have them in my life.
Hoda Kotb, had to correct that spelling. Never thought I would have kids. Truthfully, DH talked me into it. Have 3 and never looked back. Best thing I ever did. Glad I listened.
No regrets here so far about having none. I imagine they would have sprung up by 40 if they were coming (the regrets, not the children, though I guess that’s probably true of the children too!). The best thing about turning 35 was that people starting believing that I might actually know my own mind about this. The previous 20+ years of knowing looks and condescension were pretty tiresome.
I often wish we had had more. I am not sure if that is because the two we have no longer live nearby and I miss them and the activity that they brought to our lives. I certainly am glad we had these two wonderful daughters!
Have 4 chlidren, which was more than I’d wanted and fewer than my wife did. We’re happy with having had them, and both of us (I just asked her to make sure) also deliriously happy that the factory is now closed.
I only had one in marriage and then became a single parent. In different circumstances I would have liked to have two.
No one plans on being a single parent and I would have liked to have provided a better quality of life for my child. At the same time I will say she has been a blessing in my life and has definitely given me a sense of meaning and purpose. I just have guilt for not having provided her a dreamy life but I will also say that I was able to really give her all my time and efforts because she was an only child. So she always had my attention and never had to share it with anybody else. They do take a lot out of you but at the same time they give you a lot of joy and happiness.
I don’t regret having my kids for a second and would do it again. In fact, I thought that I would have three. Today, ds2 informed me that he wants three or four!
My mom would’ve kept going until she couldn’t have any more. No target in mind, just lots. My dad wanted 1 or maybe 2, and finally put his foot down after 4. I am the fourth, the only one who lives near my parents, and the one who is closest to my dad. We often joke about the fact that I’m only here because he didn’t get his way.
I have one daughter, which was exactly the right number for me, given all of the other challenges in my life. I don’t regret for a second having a child – it was by far the best decision of my life. And, although I am sometimes wistful about the fact that I didn’t have more, I know that was the right choice, too.
But my daughter is now dating another only child, and it makes me unexpectably sad to think that if they stay together and someday have kids, their kids will have NO aunts and uncles (only great-aunts and uncles), AND my own daughter will never be an aunt. My own aunts and uncles are a very, very important part of my life, as are my nieces and nephews. Just thinking about that is enough for me to wish, for a second, that I had had more kids.
( And my teenaged nephews (my daughter’s cousins) think I’m weird because I’ve suddenly started extracting promises from them that they will act as uncles to my daughter’s future kids. But they are used to my being weird. That’s the great thing about aunts!)
