<p>We are having a college graduation party for DD. Many family friends with children who have also graduated from college will be attending. Although we are not looking for gifts for my DD (certainly not our intention for having the party), we know people will bring them.</p>
<p>How do we handle this situation? Do we give gifts to every other child who has graduated college also even if they are not having a party? </p>
<p>Looking for others thoughts on this somewhat uncomfortable issue…</p>
<p>No. Every kid at a birthday party has a birthday too. The gifts are traditional to give when attending a party unless some request has been made that no gifts be given, or if it’s done in a casual format of a get together. I don’t see anything uncomfortable about this. There will be multiple graduation parties–we stopped at a number of them after my son’s graduation. No talk about gifts–these were casual. the ones that were formal, really just one, we did give a gift and my son who graduated too got none at any of them. It would be crazy any other way.</p>
<p>No…you do not give gifts to others at YOUR kid’s party.</p>
<p>And don’t count on those kids giving your daughter a gift either. Have a party to celebrate her graduation, not for gifts.</p>
<p>As an FYI…we only invited close family and friends to our kids’ college graduations. And there was NO expectation of receiving a gift from any of them either.</p>
<p>No, however I have to say that DS went to some graduation parties(we didn’t have one for him) and he bought a graduation card and gift card for each of those friends with his own money. The parents of each of those boys then ended up sending a card with a check in the mail to my son. DS certainly didn’t expect it but he was happy to get receive them. 
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<p>I agree that not everyone is going to bring gifts, that they are often of a level the students can cover themselves, but if you really, really wanted to do something more, I think either a small gift bag for the students who just graduated would be appropriate, or maybe make a white elephant exchange part of the entertainment?
But really hosting the party with food, is plenty.</p>
<p>I dont even know what we are doing for Ds college graduation. But since she wont be reachable until right before graduation, Ill keep an eye on this thread.</p>
<p>In my extended family, we’d celebrate college graduations with a party, but would never think about giving or expecting gifts. Especially considering gift-giving was viewed as something to be done for minors who haven’t reached the age of majority or graduated high school yet. </p>
<p>Once one is over 18 or has graduated high school, he/she’s considered an adult and thus…the receiving of such gifts stops with the exception of weddings. </p>
<p>I think that it would be sweet and thoughtful to have something like a “Congratulations” mug filled with hershey’s kisses in cello wrap and ribbons for each graduate. You could go to something like the Christmas Tree Shop and get a bunch of plain white mugs and adorn them with a “Congratulations” gift tag. It would be easy to make up a bunch of them, so that you wouldn’t be unprepared if a couple of extra kids show up. (You could do the same thing with water bottles.) I would minimize gift opening drama at the party. If people bring her something, she can open it then and there, and thank them, rather than staging one of those things where the guest of honor sits and opens presents while everyone watches. Family gifts can be opened later. </p>
<p>If you have mugs left over, your D can eat the candy and take the mugs to college. :)</p>
<p>[edited to change gender! Oops!!]</p>
<p>I don’t recall my daughters brought any gifts or received any gifts, the kids just focused on having fun.</p>
<p>Giving fun favors to all attendees can be a nice gesture, if you’re so inclined. Have been to parties where all the new grads got a nice favor (like a small flashlight or lanyard of HS that student just graduated from), and the rest of the attendees got warm thanks for attending. </p>
<p>It is kind of you to think of those that don’t have parties, and a gift like a small Starbucks card or the mug mentioned might be kind. I see this is college, less rule bound than HS in some ways! </p>
<p>I did have gifts for the fellow graduates who attended my son’s graduation party. I picked up identiacal books that were geared to new graduates. He was in a small graduating class (15 kids), so I took a pic of all the kids and printed it on my printer and used that to wrap the books. Ver personalized and not expensive at all. </p>
<p>Was it necessary - no? But I enjoyed doing it. </p>
<p>D and 3 other girls haves been very close friends since elementary school. When they graduated from HS five years ago, all but one had a party. I gave all of them a card with a gift card. I was not going to leave out one of these girls because she did not have a party. </p>
<p>The OP is talking about her daughter’s college graduation, not high school. </p>
<p>Really, have a party, celebrate the occasion, if you’d like. But gifts for others attending is NOT necessary. </p>
<p>So quest…what do you do if you get gifts for other college grads, but they don’t give gifts to your kiddo?</p>
<p>I don’t think gifts are the point of a college graduation party. We had family gatherings for both of our kids, and only the grandparents gave gifts. No one else did. We didn’t expect gifts.</p>
<p>We put “no gifts please” on the college grad party invites. Similar to what cobrat said, S felt that he is an adult and the party was to get everyone together with no need or expectation of gifts.</p>
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<p>To me the same principle applies. Three young ladies we know just graduated from college (one family member, 2 were daughters of close friends, we have known all since they were very young). I gave cards with cash to all of them even though one of the girls did not have a party. The accomplishment was still there and I wanted to acknowledge it, party or not.</p>
<p>One of my friends just texted me asking what my DD wants - gift or money. Her DD also graduated but she is not having a party. I guess I will respond with " just bring yourselves." But there will be others who will bring gifts I am sure even tho that was in no way our intention for having the party…</p>
<p>This makes me very uncomfortable. Because if I tell this friend who asked (nobody else has asked what my DD wants) not to bring a gift and others do, my friend will feel uncomfortable!</p>
<p>I want to do the right thing but not sure how to handle this!</p>
<p>How about saying…“a gift is not necessary.”</p>
<p>To others…it’s perfectly fine to give gifts to graduates if you want to. What I am saying here is that the OP should NOT feel obligated to give these gifts to all the others at HER daughter 's party.</p>
<p>If it were me, and I felt like sending a gift to the others, I would do it at another time…not at my kid’s party.</p>
<p>As a general rule, if an invite is sent out, I insist on a gift being given unless “please, no gifts” or the such is on the invitation. Some of the things we attended after my son’s grads were open non invitation get togethers, not parties and there were no gifts at all. Just some students hosting something with some food and drink that last weekend in College town. My son went to a few of those and we went with him to a couple of them. Very casual.</p>
<p>But then we have some here on the homefront which were not so casual, and were planned in detail with invitations sent out in advance and RSVPs requested. Those, yes, we brought gifts, even if " a gift is not necessary". Language had to be stronger in that case, but I don’t think any such thing was on the invites anyways. </p>
<p>My high schooler was invited to a classmate’s sister’s Sweet 16 (he is good friends with the young man, barely knows the sister) and though the invitation said “gifts not necessary”, we had son include a gift card with the card. And sure enough, the gifts were in plenty there, though I suspect maybe some of the guys invited like my son were given the “gifts not necessary” thing hand written on the invite. </p>
<p>Did I misunderstand the OP? I thought she was asking if SHE should give gifts to others at HER daughter’s graduation party? </p>
<p>My answer is still…NO. If she wants to give a gift to another graduate, fine. Do it at another time. And there is NO need to provide gifts to ALL of the graduates attending your kiddo’s party.</p>
<p>I guess the converse could be asked. OP, do you expect your kiddo to come home with a gift from every graduation party she is invited to attend? I sure hope not.</p>
<p>Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve heard of anyone having a college graduation party. I guess that’s why I mentally translated it to HS. </p>
<p>I still think that an inexpensive party-favorish gift is always thoughtful. But certainly not expected or required.</p>