Hazing/Initiation practices - Advice needed

<p>Hello, I am a parent of a freshman athlete who has left for pre-season.
Although not alone, DS is struggling with the demands but managing to stay with it. That is until one evening initiation/hazing activities began.
I don’t want to give details but the first night although horrific for my son, no one was harmed. I know this is against the NCAA rules but I don’t think the coaches have control over the athletes at night in the dorm.</p>

<p>I am very concerned and I would like to do something to help my son should anything be demanded from him that would harm him physically and emotionally. Am I being realistic? The whole point of hazing is to humiliate the person and see if they can take it. Does this really help you to become a better athlete? Is this practice to weed out the weak individual? </p>

<p>Are there any parents out there who have been through this and can help me to help my son?</p>

<p>Thanks,
TM</p>

<p>I’d report it to the Athletic Director anonymously, pronto. Although he/she may already know what’s going on, it’s good for them to know YOU know what’s going on.</p>

<p>Just my 2 cents.</p>

<p>Search “hazing” on the university’s Web site.</p>

<p>You may find a page that will give you an idea of who the right person might be to report this to – just in case you can’t reach the Athletic Director or that person is unresponsive to your complaint. A lot of hazing takes place outside of athletic settings, so there are probably other people involved in keeping it under control.</p>

<p>It may also be worthwhile to learn what the university’s official policies on hazing are. You may be able to judge whether what has happened to your son and his teammates violates the policy.</p>

<p>At this point, since your son indicates that he has not been harmed, I think that SpringfieldMom’s idea of an anonymous report is a good one.</p>

<p>If this is bad enough for your son to report it to you, it’s worth doing something about.</p>

<p>Is there a way to alert the athletic director anonymously?</p>

<p>I was going to call the school to get the policy but then I would be revealing myself as well as alerting them to the fact that my son is complaining. </p>

<p>I thought the NCAA was strong on this issue but obviously not from the reading I’ve been doing. They are holding a meeting this year to address the issue and hopefully begin to truly change this phenomenon.</p>

<p>Thanks for responding.
TM</p>

<p>i’d go directly to his recruiting coach…whatever coach that might be. doesn’t matter if it’s the head coach or an assistant. if they are the kind of coaches you hope they are, they will address the situation professionally–and immediately.</p>

<p>Basic rule is, if it’s in fun and games, and nobody’s hurt, don’t worry about it. However, you say that it was “horrific” for your son, and you think that this could escalate, so I would do something. Maybe an anonymous e-mail from a Yahoo or Hotmail account? Also, the policy may be posted online.</p>

<p>You could open a new e-mail address on one of the free services and send an e-mail. (Yes, I know they can ultimately be tracked, but I don’t think anyone would bother.)</p>

<p>You could call from someone else’s telephone (so caller ID’s not a problem) and deliver the message - “There are rumors that . . . and I thought you’d like to know.”</p>

<p>And you can do both those things to ask for the hazing policy as well, telling them about the rumors at the same time, and no one needs to know it’s you or your son.</p>

<p>I do think it’s important to report this. In several states, hazing is not only against policy, it’s illegal. And recently several college administrators (I believe in NJ) were arrested for allowing hazing to continue. The idea that “no one got hurt” makes it OK is frightening to me. I’d rather say I tried to stop it before someone got hurt than to wait around for it to happen. I’d think that the administration would want to stop it now.</p>

<p>I’m trying to get my head around what went on all night that was horrifying that did NOT involve physical or emotional harm. Mental harm? Did they make him think too hard? </p>

<p>Seriously, if your son is already disturbed, I’d say this doesn’t bode well for the future. Even if you got this stuff nipped in the bud, who wants to be on a team with a bunch of people that do horrifying stuff to you in the night? My response would be- get back in touch with son, see if he still feels the same way tonight, and if he does open up the possibility of packing it in. Don’t make him feel like he has to stick it out, fix this himself, or you fix it for him. It’s better to send him the message of “No one has to put up with idiots screwing with their heads or bodies…give’m the finger and leave.”</p>

<p>I’d bypass the athletic department entirely and go high up in the school administration hierarchy. I find it impossible to believe that the athletic directors don’t know that goes on. And get going on it - before someone is killed.</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.insidehazing.com/index.php[/url]”>http://www.insidehazing.com/index.php&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Check out what happened in my town (scroll down to 6/7/07 RIT Rugby Team). We almost had 6 dead kids:</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.insidehazing.com/headlines_view.php?month=6&year=2007[/url]”>http://www.insidehazing.com/headlines_view.php?month=6&year=2007&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>I’d agree with weenie, go to the school administration. My son had a situation which wasn’t hazing but involved drinking games during a campus wide event. My son elected (much to his disappointment) not to participate in the day long event as the group he was assigned to was spending the day playing drinking games. Though it was after the fact, the administration took it very seriously.<br>
As weenie pointed out, someone could get killed. Hazing needs to be stopped. So please contact the administration.<br>
I’m actually for reporting it openly and honestly and not anonymously. In order for the administration to deal with it they need to know who was involved and will probably need to hear first hand from your S. I’m sure whether or not to report something anonymously will be debated, but I believe in standing up and not hiding behind anything.</p>

<p>I agree with weenie, too: It’s hard to know the culture of an athletic department and whether you’re likely to get effective action from the athletic director (I think it’s probable most places). But the Dean of Students or even more likely someone on the academic side (Dean of Faculty, Provost, or whatever they call it) may be more likely to investigate quickly and take action if it’s needed. If you’re willing to use e-mail, it wouldn’t be bad to cc all three administrators.</p>

<p>address this with the coach first. why go over his head before he has a chance to correct it? why cause more animosity between academics and athletics. at least give the coach a chance to take care of it first. and don’t do it anonymously…no one pays much attention to anonymous complaints.</p>

<p>wbow has a good point, include the coach in the loop. But the OP described the hazing as horrific and wrote that the first night . . . no one was harmed. Unless that’s an over-reaction, I think going directly to the administration is justified. It doesn’t sound like this was just an hour of a drinking game or a panty raid.</p>

<p>I think your son has to decide for himself. Good life lesson. Stand back, let him determine what should be done. You stepping in at this point has a 4 year impact on his time at school. In helping him, you could also be submarining him at the same time. His situation, his call. just support his decision.</p>

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<p>Where hazing is concerned, I think this is very dangerous. The mob mentality takes over and it is very hard even for adults to intervene. How would the OP and/or her son then feel if (when?) someone does get hurt? Sometimes you have to look at the bigger picture.</p>

<p>A similar story has been in the news in the past 48 hours, about hazing (in a form that seems a lot milder than what’s suggested by the OP) by the softball team at the University of Maine. In that case, it seems the school took quite a few steps to counter-act what seems to have been a habitual practice. </p>

<p>The story also talks about a “hazing watchdog group”; it might be useful to track that down, since they would presumably have real expertise in such matters and be able to provide advice and context about the type of hazing your son encountered.</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.usatoday.com/sports/college/softball/2007-08-15-maine-sanctions_N.htm[/url]”>http://www.usatoday.com/sports/college/softball/2007-08-15-maine-sanctions_N.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p><a href=“http://www.stophazing.org/[/url]”>http://www.stophazing.org/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>In 44 states (all but 6 that are small in population), there are laws against hazing. In many of them, it is a FELONY. So the question still arises: if you have knowledge of a crime (perhaps a felony) being committed, are you required to report it to the police?</p>

<p>This brings up another question- my husband insists that the Good Samaritan Act requires observers to intervene- at least by calling for help, someone who is being harmed- but what I found just seems to indicate protection against getting sued if they do intervene</p>

<p><a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Samaritan_law[/url]”>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Samaritan_law&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>One of the things I was warned about at daughters current high school- was that hazing took place-</p>

<p>However- for example the hazing my daughter was involved in last spring was typical.
She and her friend as juniors- let it be known they were “hazing” swim teammates. ( they are normally thrown into the lake- however since the school is being remodeled- they had to drive them to the lake).
Girls came up to them" asking if their friends could come too.
They took a few students to the lake, talking them into jumping in, jumped in themselves, and then took them out for ice cream.</p>

<p>They had a bonding experience- which is what I think hazing possibly originally intended- but then elsewhere devolved into abuse.</p>

<p>Good Sam laws are generally simply for the protection of the Good Samaritan against tort (common law) lawsuits. The common law in this country has never required someone to act to help another, even without the chance of harm to that person, absent a special relationship between the rescuer and the victim. </p>

<p>So, for example, if I am walking along the beach and see an infant, a stranger to me, lying at the edge of the water in danger of drowning from an oncoming wave, I have no duty to go pick up or move that infant to higher ground. I could simply walk away and bear no legal liability. If I choose to help the child, and inadvertently break the infant’s arm, the Good Sam law would protect me from a lawsuit.</p>

<p>On the other hand, if I were the infant’s guardian or a paid lifeguard on that beach, I would have a legal duty to assist the infant, and could be liable for walking away. In most states, the Good Sam law does not protect someone who has the duty to assist and does so negligently. In such a state, if I had a duty and broke the child’s arm, I could be held liable. </p>

<p>I don’t think that simple knowledge that a crime had been committed requires that it be reported to the police (as mini asked). However, doing anything to conceal the felony, or anything that may abet its continuation, is likely to be illegal.</p>

<p>I assume that abetting is not an issue in this case.</p>

<p>Ah, but there’s the rub. If he is being subjected to a criminal act this year (i.e., a willing or not-so-willing victim), will he be a party to a criminal act in the following one? Either by actually committing it, abetting its continuation, or helping to conceal?</p>

<p>This is the law in my state (here it is only a misdemeanor, but the penalties are severe).</p>

<p>§ 28B.10.900. “Hazing” defined </p>

<p>As used in RCW 28B.10.901 and 28B.10.902, “hazing” includes any method of initiation into a student organization or living group, or any pastime or amusement engaged in with respect to such an organization or living group that causes, or is likely to cause, bodily danger or physical harm, or serious mental or emotional harm, to any student or other person attending a public or private institution of higher education or other postsecondary educational institution in this state. “Hazing” does not include customary athletic events or other similar contests or competitions. </p>

<p>§ 28B.10.901. Hazing prohibited – Penalty </p>

<pre><code> (1) No student, or other person in attendance at any public or private institution of higher education, or any other postsecondary educational institution, may conspire to engage in hazing or participate in hazing of another.
</code></pre>

<p>(2) A violation of this section is a misdemeanor, punishable as provided under RCW 9A.20.021. </p>

<p>(3) Any organization, association, or student living group that knowingly permits hazing is strictly liable for harm caused to persons or property resulting from hazing. If the organization, association, or student living group is a corporation whether for profit or nonprofit, the individual directors of the corporation may be held individually liable for damages. </p>

<p>§ 28B.10.902. Participating in or permitting hazing – Loss of state-funded grants or awards – Loss of official recognition or control – Rules </p>

<pre><code> (1) A person who participates in the hazing of another shall forfeit any entitlement to state-funded grants, scholarships, or awards for a period of time determined by the institution of higher education.
</code></pre>

<p>(2) Any organization, association, or student living group that knowingly permits hazing to be conducted by its members or by others subject to its direction or control shall be deprived of any official recognition or approval granted by a public institution of higher education. </p>

<p>(3) The public institutions of higher education shall adopt rules to implement this section.</p>