<p>I am just sad that such a kid (or kid’s parent) would feel the need to post a “chance me.” I wish folks like that could celebrate their incredibleness, rather than worry that it might not be enough.</p>
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<p>It’s not really difficult taking 5 APs every year.</p>
<p>In fact, it’s a pity that you can’t take 8 APs every year from freshman year. The intellectual stagnation in my non-AP courses as well as my AP courses was unbearable. My Economics teacher was highly resistant to the idea of introducing calculus-based analysis to his course… which was funny, because most kids have already taken AP Calc AB when they do AP Econs.</p>
<p>And what’s wrong with being a high school research assistant? I suppose my current situation – writing long letters that speculate about possible mechanisms and experiments in your field of interest, to mailing lists and specialised forums – as opposed to actually getting a chance to conduct those experiments, is better? </p>
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<p>You can take the hardest courseload possible and still go to parties (LAN parties included), play sports out of recreation, write poetry and short stories for fun. I’m sure some of those “superstars” (I don’t really think you are one unless you win a really major distinction) still regret goofing off too much.</p>
<p>The only reason why I didn’t end up self-studying for 16 APs for example, is that my school wouldn’t offer most of the exams I wanted to take, and there weren’t any “AP Independent Study” programs. :(</p>
<p>The thing is, there is no such thing as being a shoe-in – a kid may want advice on how to improve his application. You can be a so-called superstar and still need to improve your app …</p>
<p>Munchkin, I agree. Sometimes gifted truly means gifted.</p>
<p>I think kids are doing themselves a disservice if they’re posting impossible stats on the forum; some kids who post real numbers and specific interests can get excellent advice (when they aren’t being told their only option is to go to community college). I would much rather send an encouraging post to a mortal than some dweeb with astronomical grades and SATs who will do just fine in the college application process no matter what. So I don’t see the point in lying; an anonymous forum is a great place to confess your imperfections.</p>
<p>In the real world, I know when a fellow parent has left the ranks of acquaintance to become a true friend when she is willing to share something not-so-perfect about her child.</p>
<p>^^jonri, #33. That’s a useful general statement about awards that cannot be held simultaneously. However, with respect to the Rhodes specifically, there are no alternates. If a candidate proceeds to an interview, is selected, and then declines the scholarship, that slot is lost for that year. So students are requested to decide in advance of the interview whether they will accept the scholarship if chosen; and if not, it would be appropriate to withdraw before the interview. It happens occasionally.</p>
<p>On the OP’s issue, I agree with the suggestions on the forum (+ jonri’s): Possibly the poster was unknowingly mistaken or the poster was attempting to substitute an “equivalent” national honor, in order to avoid making the student identifiable by name–since multiple award winners can easily be deduced from published lists, when there’s not a lot of overlap. I incline toward the latter explanation. Of course, there are probably a few deliberate misrepresentations.</p>
<p>Agreeing with munchkin, galoisien, and J’adoube, I’ve known students who have top qualifications and also have a “real life” that is not solely focused on work.</p>
<p>I think that there are several valid conversations going on here, but now that I believe I know what the original information the OP was referring to, is, I’ll just say that throughout my D1 and D2’s elementary years, all 3 of us were successfully hoodwinked by a mother and daughter team who fictitiously claimed multiple honors, the “best” recognitions, singular glory, etc., for said D. The syndrome of behavior on the part of the D was very much of the clinical NPD variety, for those who know their DSM. (I know, you love it when I talk dirty.) But what confused me over & over was that the <em>mother</em> seemed to take on the Narcissistic role <em>on behalf of</em> the D, if you will. She was the one who claimed glory for the child, while the child smugly and unarguably basked in parentally bestowed glory, acting out almost passively what the mother articulated for her. I had never read in the DSM that the parent can take on the NPD behavior by substitution, but I suppose it’s possible. Some of the characteristics were: never to be outdone by anyone else’s apparent status (i.e., claim yours is equal, at least, but preferably of higher status); associate heavily with people who truly have elevated status & verifiable talent (while claiming to be a protege of such talents), & broadcast said exclusive association; claim also to be admired by said true talents. </p>
<p>Here’s what was the shocker, both to us, and to the people to whom it was attributed: manufacture statements of praise about oneself supposedly extended by the locally (truly) “famous” scholars (artists, athletes, etc.). In fact, we only discovered that these stories were all manufactured when we casually repeated the reported statements to these various people, who were close associates of ours. They were utterly shocked, & denied in almost speechless fashion that they were even associated with the girl, let alone admired her, etc. That’s when the whole masquerade began to unravel, and it became clear to the school administration (fiinally, after 9 years!) that the girl was seriously in need of help. (Although I always felt that the mother was in equal need.) The duo invested enormous energy in these efforts – efforts which continued into high school, until that also eventually unraveled. </p>
<p>I digress because until mootmom posted that link, it never occurred to me that the mother might be doing some kind of proxy-fictitious thing, although in their case, the internet was really not a part of the broadcasting effort. It was simply direct word of mouth.</p>
<p>LOL, that is not to say that any unintended mistakes or even exaggerations on CC are clinically based! It’s just that I find such elaborately woven behavior fascinating.</p>
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I think the proxy-fictitious thing is what’s behind my daughter’s psycho-stalker-mom situation. As I’ve always said, in that case it’s the mom who attacked my husband and me and the mom who always tried to meddle in things and who went off the deep end when my kid received some opportunities. Her daughter is a fine girl and always has been, but my greatest fear is that the daughter will be accepted at the same college as my daughter. That keeps me awake at night and is why I’ll never let my daughter tell where she’s applying or accepted. That should make for some fun conversations with the GC, no?
(I’d love to know the origin of this thread.)</p>
<p>“my greatest fear is that the daughter will be accepted at the same college as my daughter.”</p>
<p>Similarly, we trembled at the thought of the copycat shadow (one year D’s junior) ‘following’ her to high school, to compete with her. (We knew at least she’d never be in the same ball park for colleges; she was rejected from almost all colleges she applied to, matriculated to a tiny niche LAC.) One thing that characterizes this syndrome, however: they won’t compete in an arena where they could easily be publicly humiliated – i.e., rejected from an admissions. Deep-down, Mom knew that her D did not have what it took to apply to the same high schools. (They did, however, have money, so D was accepted to a very new h.s. which was on an aggressive fast-track financially & needed money & a student body.) Before that, she followed us around to the e.c.'s my D was in, making speeches to us about why the girl "should have won the award. " Major nightmare. OTOH, now we can laugh about it; it’s distant enough. Some day you will, too, zoosemom! :)</p>
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<p>From your mouth to God’s ears! If she attacked my husband who is twice her size over high school admissions, what would she do over college? Oy.</p>
<p>I’m surprised that people would care so much about something written on here that they’d research three different lists in order to determine the veracity of the claim.</p>
<p>I actually find it reassuring that even kids with superstar stats (and their parents) are insecure about getting into top schools.</p>
<p>As far as false postings, people can behave very strangely in anonymous situations. I confess that the other day I thought to myself, “Why am I giving this kid advice on how to get into the same school my kid wants to go to?” I still–I think–gave the best advice I could, but I can see how somebody else might not do so.</p>
<p>QM–</p>
<p>Someone turned down a Rhodes for a Gates a couple of years ago. His name is not on the Rhodes list because he didn’t accept it. Maybe they didn’t appoint someone else, but his name isn’t listed. If you look at the initial news reports though, his name is there.</p>
<p>re Post 51: I wasn’t part of the research myself, but I can see how it would occur for those who happen to know the way those awards work. I could see it becoming an apparent without much effort, that there’s a pretty visible incongruity there. (Since I never knew about those awards, it never came to my attention.)</p>
<p>Re Post 50:</p>
<p>LOL, “Texas Cheerleader Mom,” anyone?</p>
<p>^^jonri, #53. If the person you mention was included in the list of Rhodes Scholars in the New York Times, but he then opted for a Gates, yes, his scholarship was “lost” to his region for that year.</p>
<p>I have recommended CC to a number of friends. I ALWAYS warn them that they need to understand that not everything they read on CC is true, but nonetheless there is a lot of useful information to be had. As others have suggested, the portions of CC in which other students “chance” future applicants is pretty much useless. But I have learned on CC things such as how to reduce my car insurance while my kids are away during the academic year, etc.</p>
<p>Obviously, I will never know whch parts of CC comments are completely true, but I tend to believe postings that are presented with more humility. Also, after reading CC for a while, I know the “bent” of various posters, so I thunk i can see how to interpret what they say with what I am pretty sure they mean. By the way, exaggeration and lying about kids’ accomplishments is definitely not limited to anonymous venues such as CC. My wife tells me I am somewhat cynical, but I am almost always proven accurate later when she comes home and tells me that so-and-so’s kid has “essentially straight A’s” (and I tell her that it reall means he has around a 3.6 unweighted GPA) or that a student / athlete “is being recruited” by a particular school (really means he received a reply to an e-mail). </p>
<p>Fortunately, my kids have done fairly well, and I just publicly defer to others bragging, even when I know the claims are false (e.g. “My son received a merit scholarship to MIT.”). If someone feels he has to try to impress me by lying about his kids, then I just consider myself fortunate and don’t worry about it. Furthermore, I know that I am far from perfect. Although I do not lie about my kids’ accomplishments, I know that my other wrong actions (I would call them “sins”, such as not always doing the right thing, thinking badly about others, etc.) are more numerous than the few sins that I can prove others have. Lying about your kids is never right, but it is definitely understandable, especially given the CC environment.</p>