<p>Another thing…the Honors College application at U of South Carolina is one of the most demanding applications I have ever seen. It involves writing a longer essay, a shorter essay and answering some very challenging questions which require a lot o research and thought. My daughter completed it herself and it was challenging to do. This OP’s daughter must have done quite well on it to have been accepted into U of South Carolina’s Honors College which has become quite competitive. </p>
<p>I asked if she was designated a Carolina Scholar. Or if she received any of the other merit awards the school offers. Seems to me that if she had the “stuff” to be admitted to those other schools, she would have been quite competitive for the Carolina award (which I believe is a full ride).</p>
<p>“If she wrote wonderful essays, there must be some clues in them as to what she really would like to do with her life”</p>
<p>I disagree. Most of the wonderful college essays have nothing to do with what someone wants to do with their life. That is rarely one of the prompts. Students write about how a picture or a person influenced them, or a memorable time in their life, or what they would tell their roommate about themselves or any number of things that show passion and intellectual vitality and in no way mention or infer what they want to do with their life or what they want to major in.</p>
<p>Just thinking – OP – if you’ve had some new insights re: the college selection process from this thread (I learned tons here on CC) – then maybe (if your daughter wanted) it’s not too late for her to tell another school (maybe Brown, Georgetown?) that she’s still interested. My son turned down a whole bunch of schools, and numerous ones sent a letter saying “if you change your mind (or if the withdrawl is a mistake), contact us.”</p>
<p>I agree with Hmom and owlice. This thread has the Dad II feel and evokes the same response. I thought at first it was a gag, but ots not April fools day. If you were willing and able to pay full freight without any restrictions, you should have let it be her choice. But its water under the bridge, unless she holds a grudge.</p>
<p>Some of the above schools have need based financial aid- others have merit aid as well.
We found that schools that meet 100% need - do just that- with generous grants and small subsidized loans as well as work-study.
I would expect that for a student to be admitted to Brown or Georgetown- the opportunity available therein- not just the courses offered and the international status of the university, but for caliber of student body- re activities and classes, would be certainly worth paying your EFC .</p>
<p>However- if poor planning or other issues interfere with the ability to cover the EFC, then that needed to be discussed long before college applications.
( Although I am wondering why college would take 5 years?)
As far as defining/choosing your life work through your major before you have completed high school * and/or being pushed out of the way in your own life by your parent doing it for you*, most students are unsure of a major before they have taken any classes- many change majors & many even change schools.</p>
<p>I admit I am also unsure why the OP is * heartbroken*?
Seems to me she is getting her way.</p>
<p>I believe parents try so hard to make things right, we tend to make mistake along the way</p>
<p>my response was to initial post- but I want to respond to this as well.</p>
<p>I do not believe that it is our job to make things right.
Our job is to give children the skills to make their own way in the world, to learn strong ethics and to be able to make their own progressively more difficult decisions with those values to guide them.
I suggest- if she cannot attend a school that she chose this next fall- that she consider taking a year off- perhaps working/traveling to develop a stronger idea of her own self and to make the most of her 4 years in college.</p>
<p>Unless you are attending medical/law school, much money is available for grad school at least that has been our observation- the best use of money is to procure the best education possible- that will open more doors for post -bac study.</p>
<p>You know, for whatever reason, the OP felt that paying tuition for a sure thing, i.e., IR at Brown or GW or GTown was reasonable but that paying tuition for “undecided” was not the same bargain or investment.
I at the moment can relate a little bit: my D is good in Math but wants to major in English. I believe that opportunities abound in Math related fields but D likes English. My opinion does not matter here – tuition would be the same at her top three choices – and I also agree that many 17 year olds change their minds about what they wish to study. Like the OP’s D, my D also wants to get away from home!<br>
The bottom line is, OP, your kid has no interest in majoring in IR or going to Brown. Just as my kid has no interest in majoring in Math despite a real knack for the subject! It certainly isn’t worth losing sleep over!</p>
<p>I really have no idea whether IR is more of a sure thing than English or “undecided.” Truly. I’ve been talking to my S’s friends, and their career plans don’t seem to match their majors. Some who have great job offers are English majors whereas some of the science majors have nothing concrete lined up.</p>
<p>And we all know that all of the MBAs from recent years are in trouble right now, despite the feeling even just one or two years ago that an MBA was a ticket to easy street. The best advice for our kids, I believe, is that they follow their hearts and try to do what they really love. There are no guarantees about ANY jobs these days. The world they will be inheriting is a very different place from what it was, or even from what it is right now. If we have learned anything, I think it is that people should be true to themselves, find something that is interesting to do, and do it with responsibility. They will find their ways, like most of us have found ours. OP-- you need to back off. Now. Find a way to describe yourself as a Proud-Hearted Mom, rather than a Broken-Hearted Mom. Your child sounds pretty darn terrific.</p>
<p>THE MOM decided to reject Georgetown and Brown. THE DAUGHTER was “heartbroken.” </p>
<p>Could you be wrong? Damn straight you could be wrong. If you were fully capable of paying for those schools when your D was agreeing to go in as the major you wanted a month ago, you are fully capable of paying for them now.</p>
<p>She’s agreeing to go to UNC just to get you off her back because THAT is the only school she can pick and not be treated to an endless song and dance. (That is not to say that it is a tragedy for a kid to go to the UNC honors college.)</p>
<p>I don’t understand what is so superior about International Affairs/International Relations, compared to another major the daughter might have picked. IA/IR is not some huge moneymaking field, where the daughter would be guaranteed a solid career. It’s not as if the parents said, “Darling, we’ll send you to Brown for the six year med program because it’ll be worth all the expense, but we’re not sending you to Brown to study Art.” IA/IR is just another liberal arts degree. </p>
<p>I’m not criticizing IA/IR, or liberal arts degrees in general-- my son will be getting a degree in some field in humanities, perhaps even International Relations-- but this is not a lucrative pre-professional major.</p>
<p>OK…this is not going to be a popular post. I interpreted the OPs post as being all about who was in control. It seemed to me that the parent wanted to be in control of the whole shabang. The daughter was secondary to the decision making. If the daughter had chosen the major the parent wanted, the parent would have sent the child to any of the schools. BUT the daughter didn’t want to commit to a major (like so many other college freshmen) and poof…the options were removed by the parent.</p>
<p>My only hope is that the parent was upfront with the daughter “DD, you will ONLY be able to attend the school of your choice if you choose the major of MY choice.”</p>
<p>Quote: “No, I would love my daughter to have a mind of her own, this is why I decided on the in state University…” </p>
<p>You want your D to have a mind of her own, but YOU decided!!! That is outrageous. I feel very sorry for your daughter. Apparently you have no life of your own, so you need to live hers.</p>
<p>I do not see anything wrong with insate Honors program. My D. is perfectly fine with it. She did not care to apply to elite schools at all after graduating #1 in her class. She does not need any more challenge, some classes are horrifically challenging even for the very top, some of whom have even change major or getting tutors just to keep up. I am talking about Honors kids most of whom were valedictorians.</p>
