<p>Obviously the fact that we are logged into CC implies guilt by association! My company offered a webinar on Helicopter Parenting last week and 600 employees registered! One of the speaker’s most memorable phrases was to “allow your child to develop his or her struggle muscle.”</p>
<p>According to my kids I have done HORRIBLE things.<br>
- I gently asked my hs senior to make sure he had his required PE credit in place this semester so that he’ll graduate on time and be able to attend the highly selective school into which he was admitted ED. “OMG Mom, YOU ARE SOOOO ANNOYING!!”
- Refused to let said son go unsupervised to Mexico for Spring Break for $1500. “OMG Mom, I can’t BELIEVE YOU!!! How can you let me go unsupervised to college in 6 months if I can’t go unsupervised to Mexico to party in the ocean with scantily clad girls who don’t speak English?”
- Refused to let my 15 year old son have a 3am curfew after the Sadie Hawkins dance last weekend. “MOM!!! It’s the SADIE HAWKINS dance which means the girls plan it. It’s not up to you or me what time I come home!! It’s up to my date! I can’t be RUDE!!! Why are you trying to CONTROL this?”
The good news is that my 11 year old precious 5th grade son still thinks I’m the best!</p>
<p>I probably have about 1 good year left!</p>
<p>This is really bad…unknown to our S, Hubby and I actually applied to a school that was persistent in contacting him after a visit, but that he had already checked off of his list. We used an essay he had already written for a different school’s application. We did this to see what their merit award would be. We told S about it later - and he was OK with it. H used the merit award letter to visit financial aid at the school S currently attends to get them to increase his award. It was well worth the time spent :)</p>
<p>We have a helipad on campus and I’m there right now.</p>
<p>Chaperoning a middle school week long trip- even though I didn’t speak directly to her the whole time.
Being the cochair at her school and having every one know who I was.
Not having a helipad so that she would actually be seen riding in our car.</p>
<p>Wow to a couple of these! My copter story was going to go back to elementary school, so I realize now that I’m a lightweight.</p>
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<p>Having the same thought.</p>
<p>Too many stories to choose from. :(</p>
<p>Gosh…I keep thinking of these individual memories, and I am discounting them one by one by seeing how in reality I was really just “supporting” positive growth in my child (and not really being a helicopter at all).</p>
<p>Denial is a wonderful thing.</p>
<p>dukeblueduke, That was hilarious! And so true. </p>
<p>Personally, I don’t buy into the whole “helicopter parent as problem” theory. Every two or three years a new book comes out telling good parents that they are doing it all wrong and giving them the precious chance to their terrible ways all for the price of a…hardcover book. Funny how that works.</p>
<p>Basically, since my son was born I’ve tried to be as loving, supportive, accepting, encouraging and kind as possible. I’ve failed in many ways over the years. However, I find reminding myself of my goals to be a lot more effective, and far cheaper, than signing up to have the latest “expert” tell me how nurturing my kid is bad for him.</p>
<p>Oh you people.</p>
<p>I’m about to whirr up my blades. D was accepted at a college. She has decided she doesn’t care to go there and doesn’t want a financial aid package. I’m going to submit the FAFSA to that school, anyway, just so we don’t close a door.</p>
<p>S1 was one of those “non-communicative, asserting my independence” types when he left for college. I was sure he was dead (he was an hour away, but hey, he still could have been dead…) I logged into his student flex card account at regular intervals the first month to assure myself that he was still buying several cans of pop per day. I have since told him about this.</p>
<p>That semester he partook of the campus drinking scene. I took him out for lunch on his 19th birthday (one of my worst days of parenting ever). He and his dormmates <em>had</em> to drink the number of drinks as was their birthday (over a 24 hours period). I am from a non-drinking environment (and ahem, so was he…). I decided this might kill him too. So…I emailed the dorm rector and asked him to check on him throughout the day and night. He said he would be happy to do so, and he did email me back with his updates. Haven’t told S about this one yet, but I’d probably do the same thing if there were do-overs. Thankfully, in short order he decided excess drinking was stupid and there were better things in life to do.</p>
<p>When my S had applied to many of his Us, he was very “hit & miss” and didn’t put in ALL of the pieces in a lot of them, tho we had to pay the app fees. I was irked and checked with one of the schools where he was supposed to be an auto-admit with full-ride. They never got his transcript, so I walked down to his HS (while he was out-of-country with his band trip) & got it sent. He got letter of acceptance with generous merit aid that I believe was at least partly helpful in raising his merit award at the school he now attends.</p>
<p>When my D was exploring transfering, she had an interview with her number one choice, Wesleyan, from an alum who lived about 40 minutes driving from her present college. There was no easy public transportation between cities. Her school was about 3 hours from our home. I drove down there, picked her up, and brought her to the interview. (At his house, not to reference a sensitive thread on the forum next door…) then I drove to a pre-arranged parking lot about a quarter mile from his house, so he wouldn’t think she was overly reliant on mom. Sat there reading, when, about an hour later, fancy sports car drives up, with D and alum. Apparently he, not seeing any car, asked her what her transport was. So she had to tell. Rather than putting him off, he came over, shook my hand, and said, “we have got to make sure D gets into Wesleyan.” And she did. He didn’t seem to mind our little ruse at all. Best eight hours of driving I’ve ever done.Which is why I never say to parents here–if they want to transfer, leave it up to them and don’t help. I could have done that, and why? So she could stay unhappy?</p>
<p>Whir, whir!</p>
<p>*When D1 was applying to college she had a specific email set up. The day I returned to work after my Dad’s death, I checked the email and saw that she had been invited to apply for a scholarship at her school of choice, but that the deadline was that day and she was at school. I cribbed an essay that she had written for something else and sent it in without telling her. She got the scholarship. *</p>
<p>I was annoyed at DS1 after his first semester of college, because he was beginning to use his “emergency credit card” for too many “non emergencies.” </p>
<p>So, as I was surfing the college’s website for possible part-time jobs for him to earn some pocket money (and to have less time for pricey restaurants.), I saw a job opportunity as a campus tutor. I saw that the online application deadline was very soon (like within 48 hours), so I filled out the app. The app was quite easy because once you put in name, address, and school ID #, the school administrator for the job could get access to his grades. About a week later, son was contacted for an interview and got the job. :)</p>
<p>Then, DS1 became the “helicopter brother,” and did the same for DS2. Now, DS2 has the same job. :)</p>
<p>Whir and Whir, Jr.</p>
<p>Wow, I never applied for a job for either of my kids, but can see how that could be tempting! Great that your S accepted the job, even tho it “dropped from the sky.”</p>
<p>S does help his sister, if URGED by us & her, but otherwise, I think he prefers to pursue his own interests.</p>
<p>I think I’m gonna head to the denial thread… 
;)</p>
<p>It’s a long tradition in my family. My two maiden great-aunts followed my Mom down the Boardwalk in Atlantic City in 1940 behind her first date, hiding behind other tourists. Since they were 4’10" tall, they could do that. </p>
<p>My mom steamed opened the envelope of my college acceptance letter while I was at school, then glued it shut before I returned home, pretending not to know. </p>
<p>Surely my finest moment was driving a son and date to the Prom so he wouldn’t risk getting arrested on a limited drivers license after midnight. I’m amazed he still speaks to me.</p>
<p>I love these stories.
Checking my D’s email and answering for her when she was out of town seems so lame now … But there are great ideas here …</p>
<p>*My mom steamed opened the envelope of my college acceptance letter while I was at school, then glued it shut before I returned home, pretending not to know.
*</p>
<p>LOL…at least you still got it!</p>
<p>My MIL opened my H’s letter from Harvard, and when she saw he had been accepted, she threw it away. She didn’t want him to go that far away to school, because he was not very “worldly.”</p>
<p>My H (who was also very naive), thought that colleges must only send acceptance letters, so when he didn’t receive anything, he thought he had been rejected.</p>
<p>He only found out about this about 15 years ago, when his sister spilled the beans. </p>
<p>That goes beyond being a helicopter parent.</p>