I’m confused - my son submitted the same letters for all colleges! Is this wrong?
So. Chances at Duke ED are likely less than 50%. It is a tough admit for an unhooked kid. I would make it condition that he has his “other” apps ready to go before he applies ED. It is really hard to pick up and get the other apps done if you get a no in the middle of December. Alternative is to have a rolling or EA admission from a school he would be happy to go to in hand early.
If Tulane is on his list (and it should be if he is interested in Latin and South America - they have a fantastic Latin American Studies program), have him apply as soon as the app opens. Assuming it has not changed in the last three years they do rolling admissions and he will hear very early. Both of my DDs applied and were in with money before Thanksgiving. One caveat, admission is not so easy if they feel they are being treated like a safety - write a real Why Tulane essay.
If he is interested in economics and emerging economies Tufts and Georgetown should be on his list. Both solid economics schools with an international bent.
For “conditional” schools that want recommendations, couldn’t the student open the application so that recommendations be sent, but not click submit and make payment until and unless the ED result is known to be non-acceptance?
OP - your son is going to have to spend more time to show his love for matches and safeties. If you haven’t visited those schools yet, I would do it asap and make sure he signs in when he visits. A lot of those schools track interest. He doesn’t need to visit some of those high reach schools until he is accepted.
I would encourage him to have his common app and personal statement done by end of the summer. He should have most of his essays for his RD schools done before the ED/EA results come out.
From the OP “I asked DAD to consider ONLY whether he can afford and do $25k a year and ignore the rest for now.”
I don’t know how to read that except that Dad is to have no input right now, only pay. If he doesn’t have input now, when is he supposed to start talking? I don’t think either parent should just pay and have no input, in fact I believe the opposite, that both parents have the responsibility to advise and, perhaps, pay but that it is not a blank check.
I also think $25k for ‘half’ is really low. Duke will be more, and it is not clear if that $25k includes the current support that will ‘redirected’ for room and board or is in addition to it.
I never understood the “ready to go for other applications” concept when applying to schools. Unless money is tight why not submit them? Two of my daughter’s schools (both top 30) had early deadlines if you wanted to be considered for all scholarships. Waiting until the ED results meant missing them. Also having a EA option can lower the stress if the ED doesn’t work out. I would think submitting the applications would also get the student to seriously consider what plan B would be if needed.
@3puppies said: First of all, kudos to you and Dad for raising a bright kid while coming from a broken home - this is not easy.
She said it was a broken home. Being a single parent, I took offense.
D2 submitted all of her EA/ED applications, but held off on RDs. We weren’t tight for money, but money is still money. I saved over $1000, which I gave half to D2. D2 had plenty of time to be serious with her plan B if she didn’t get into her ED school.
Not sure about this year, but last year Duke admitted 22% RD and 30% ED. That is not the kind of boost you would see at many other selective colleges particularly since Legacy admits would have inflated the 30%. S.America internship would be possible at many, many schools. ED is all about giving up financial options in exchange for potentially better admissions chances. My only advice is to apply ED somewhere and to do so at a school where you are close enough that applying ED is very likely to get you in. I’ve never heard of anyone regretting going to Duke. If it helps, here is a link to a Forbes article and video about what Duke looks for. It’s an interesting video
That can’t be. Duke’s acceptance rate is more in the 9% range. That’s not possible for them to accept 22% RD and 30% ED and have an overall acceptance rate of 9%.
Unless you are trying to say that Duke admitted 30% of their class ED? That’s possible, but that’s an entirely different number and says nothing about an acceptance rate.
@twoinanddone
If you read my whole first post, it says, or should say if it didn’t, that his dad is putting forth advice pushing the kid away. And he seems to doing it based on uncertainty about the cost. Since there is nothing to decide right now, he needs to search his own mind to first decide if he can pay before he points S in all directions without understanding why. I have not told him to butt out. I have asked him to focus on that one question before we go further with the advice/conversations with S. I think that is fair. You read with your own lens and experiences, but that doesn’t make it so:)
He cannot just refuse to pay. It’s in the settlement. But I want to be sure he can afford it. I do still care, as He is family. If he can’t, it’s likely that I will pay the difference. Some gold digger I am, huh? 
I also suggested to him today that he plan a visit for them so he doesn’t feel so out if the loop. He’s been very busy and out of the loop for a few months now. So thanks for pointing out his side for me.
Duke’s website gives the numbers for last admissions cycle at http://admissions.duke.edu/application/timeline
Another vote for Tulane here. My D is a 2015 grad with a Spanish major and all of the pre med classes. She applied early and got lots of merit money with slightly lower stats than your S. She went to Costa Rica for a semester and Cuba for a semester with it costing the same as a semester at Tulane.
If your son is a competitive candidate for Duke, I can’t see why he NEEDS to apply ED. It sounds like his dad would at least like the opportunity to compare multiple net costs at multiple colleges.
I believe the parents have to agree to the ED application.
I’m not sure I would encourage the ED application. I think this kid should find multiple schools that are similar to Duke in terms of characteristics and apply to them.
If there are non-binding EA schools on the mix…all the better.
I guess I don’t hear a compelling reason to apply ED to Duke, but I hear a number of reasons to apply regular decision.
I am not clear on what the real issue is with applying ED to Duke. OP says she is happy to pay her share and that Dad “can afford it” and is “not short on $.” Then OP says Dad just has a lot of financial “craziness” right now. Not sure how to decode that – is Dad reluctant to pay for Duke? What would be the difference between his contribution to Duke and his contribution to Cornell? OP, would you be willing to make up that difference so your S could attend Duke?
We are also a full pay family that will qualify for no financial aid whatsoever, and yes the “all in” numbers can be daunting --especially with more than one child. But if you are a full pay family you really have to have the funding sources firmly established well before decisions are made about ED. If there is any doubt perhaps your S should forgo the ED so you and Dad can assess all the options.
Perhaps schedule a dinner with Dad to get a firm answer on his willingness to fund Duke over the next 4 years.
@thumper1 The reason to apply ED to Duke is that it increases the odds he’ll get in. From post #51, from Duke’s website: “There’s an advantage in applying early to Duke—last year we admitted 25% of our Early Decision candidates and only 10% of our Regular Decision candidates. There are students for whom applying Early Decision can make all the difference.”
Cornell is appreciably less expensive than Duke only for in-state students in the statutory colleges. The major the OP’s son wants is in one of the endowed colleges. Except for a relatively small savings on transportation (because the OP’s family lives in New York), Cornell would be no cheaper than Duke if the student is in the College of Arts and Sciences, which is where he would need to be if he’s going to major in economics.
Yes. Very much so. And not just Duke. The same advantage applies at the other schools on this student’s list that also have ED, such as Cornell and Penn.
Maybe I’m reading too much between the lines, but it sounds to me as though the OP and/or her ex have concerns about Duke specifically. Maybe the geographic location? Might you be concerned that a Northeastern kid would feel out of place at a Southern school?
^that may be part of what dad is thinking. he is a NYer born & bred. And does sometimes feel out of place. Me? Im a midwesten girl, so i know folks can get along anywhere.
I have no “issue” with Duke per se. I just want to be sure it is not a “starry-eyed” pick. Maybe dad is feeling like this too, and wants S to have choices to be able to see clearly beyond the stars? This is the reason I posted. I’m not always right (wait, who said that.) so I wanted to try to see my S and dad’s view here too. I’m not high on the “EQ” scale, so sometimes I need things pointed out to me!
It is a fantastic school, and he’d be lucky to get in. So for me, Duke itself is fine. He also has talked about Penn ED as another choice for ED instead. All EAs will be submitted EA. I have told him I eaxpect him to finish all apps by that Nov 1. Ed, Ea or RD.
S says it would be foolish NOT to use ED at one of his top picks IF the school tends to accept more then. I tend to agree, but then I know “more” may just mean athletes and legacies. I read on thr Dartmouth site that for nonhooks, they should go RD. from the horse’s mouth…
He tells me the internships that are a part of DukeEngage are paid by Duke. Very selective, and he knows that. My S is very smart, very practical, very mature, but also a little spoiled.
i am just trying not to confuse S with my own neuroses or panic attacks when I think of the $. And to remind Dad not to do the same. I won’t say the $ won’t require sacrifice. But the sacrifice is more in line with “no, not buying a new dress or bag”, not getting a new car type. Not the, “how will I pay my motgage” type. We are blessed in that way with 2 high earning parents here. I would never complain about that.
By financial craziness, I mean new office, lots of out of the ordinary expenses and insurance claim denial, partner owes $ type of things. One offs happening all at once.
And yes, if dad agreed only to Cornell, his half being 17, then I would pay the 33 (8 extra) for duke or whatever school. in the end, I think dad will too.
Our high school also only reported grades in numbers. I think somewhere in the fine print the GC high school cover piece that includes the transcript tells you what the grading system is. (I think 90+ was an A.) An unweighted 97 put you at the tippy top of the class if you had taken a reasonable number of AP courses, a few years later an unweighted 93 put you in the top 6%. That’s just a point of reference for a large public NYS suburban high school. Our school reported grades in classes unweighted and then reported a calculated GPA that was weighted along with a class rank. Personally, I think if the colleges see nothing but 90+ on a transcript he’s unlikely to be rejected because of his grades. I wouldn’t overthink the whole grade issue as long as he also has the rigor in his schedule (AP, IB or attending a school who can sell the idea that their courses are better than either of those programs.)
@marion How long ago did your son apply to college? I think many teachers now just upload the applications directly. Adding a college really requires about five minutes extra work. Even without the simple upload if the student supplies the stamped envelopes (we did) how much trouble is it to print out another copy of a recommendation letter? I don’t think most teachers do (or should do) a separate letter for each individual college.
In your original post you mentioned another child with autism. Is that child high functioning enough to attend college? Is that a consideration in this for your ex? Or your son’s Aspergers although he seems to be very successful despite it?
Could be dad is concerned that he has his heart set on a reach school and doesn’t want to see him upset. Could also be that he doesn’t want him to go far away. I don’t think you can ask dad to keep opinions to himself but pointing out that your son only loves Duke more when met with opposition may at least get him to stop that a bit.
It does sound like the three of you need to discuss strategy a bit more and get everyone on the same page. Dad may not understand that there are safeties and matches in the picture and he may be overestimating your son’s chance of getting in to Duke.