At that age we went to B&N and told them that they could pick out any amount of books they wanted as long as they read them before buying anymore. I guessed that would be over in a few books. Well, it continued and I ended up getting a bookshelf for their bedrooms!
In the end, what I wholeheartedly agree with is abasket’s comment: she is 6.
Try to remember there are little kids who will turn out to be the fine high schoolers we usually worry about, but aren’t freaking “competitive” in first or second grade. Some can’t spell their names, some can. Most tend to catch up, if that’s our parently intention. Unless there’s something grossly wrong, I’d take the pressure off, at home. (The specific pressure to read or be read to.)
I had an expression about kids, up to high school: just because the format of school works for 85% of them doesn’t mean it’s right for all kids. (It referred to one particular kid who was years ahead, but seen as the odd egg because she was bored by the terribly slow pace, lol.)
Here, that would be: just because other kids, your own or her peers, take or took to reading early, doesn’t mean she needs to, at 6, if everything else is fine.
Funny, what memories this thread is bringing. The comment about “phonetic decoding” - mine did like being read to, but the surge came when they understood individual words, got into the process of decoding letters. We had a Mom and Dad game just with sounding out simple words, one at a time- no books, no texts, no visuals. And no big pressure. Just a few random one syllable words. I think that gave them the sense of the magic of translating letters- and their own control.
Another idea is: rather than insisting on pre-written stories with a progression of their own (one example from the graphic books link was going to visit grandma,) why not one picture that you talk about together? What’s going on here, Susie? What are they doing, is he packing for a trip? Whatever. Make it fun. You can lead. No overload. 5 minutes to start, if that’s all she can stand.
If nothing else is going on, there is no race. The idea isn’t to make them competitive in first or second grade, but to foster the early love of learning and thinking, at their pace, in their ways.
(Yes, my mom did make up stories, we loved that. Or dog, our house, etc. We could visualize that.)
I did not read this entire post but…
Same situation with my student. I cajoled, encouraged, supported, begged teachers for help and insight, etc. But in the end it was undiagnosed dyslexia covered up by a very smart little girl with fantastic memorization skills. I would say get her tested (psychoeducational testing) right away. We ended up waiting until she was 9 or 10 despite the school insisting she was at a 6-7th grade level of reading. Testing showed she could barely read. I ignored all the warning signs because teachers ignored them and convinced me she was fine. And she was not. But she is now! Still has dyslexia and still hates to read but she can read so that is a big improvement!! She’s in college and prefers numbers to letters.
Good luck.
OP I reread your original post of this thread.
So I’m also wondering if part of your issue is that she is rejecting a bedtime story? Or is it just reading to fulfill the reading log.
Reading is an excellent part of a bedtime routine. But it doesn’t have to be the only literacy rich experience at bedtime. (again, literacy is more than books!) A bedtime routine could include options (so she could choose one) like:
- 10 minute talk about our day
- Doing a page or two of mad libs together in bed
- If you/she is creative, a puppet for both of you and a short puppet talk/show at bedtime
- Journaling - together you write down stuff about the day or a wish list or a favorite dream…
- A picture book can also be an option!
And no screens at bedtime!!! 
Quick question about screen time. I do try to limit screens to a reasonable amount. A little TV when she gets home from school. A little game time after homework. But how do you all feel about reading books on kindle or other device? She seems to take to that a bit more then actual books. I think its because her sisters are always doing their homework on computer and it makes her feel grown up. Is there a downside to books on screens?
@gallentjill , see my post #26 for a brief, easy to understand, but research based article on print vs. pixels (screens).
(btw, my profession is pediatric literacy following a medical model - so research and evidence based - suffice it to say that there is much evidence even from a socio-emotional point of view let alone physical effects and educational effects of screens vs. a lap or shared reading side by side) So I’m a little bit biased…but in a very experienced based way.
But note I say above, “she is 6” - a full day of school with structured reading may be all her little body and mind wants to handle right now. She is ON TARGET developmentally according to her school. Sounds like your guidance and her choices and abilities have served her just fine!
And since she likes pictures–get a couple of the “I Spy” books! Even I enjoyed those.
@abasket Thanks for pointing me to the article! Very helpful.
My S got passionate in reading in first grade when he found out at the school library that the kid with the most number of books passed/logged with Accelerated Reader would win some prize, can’t even remember what it was. He wound up with like 500 books logged for the year - most were at the 3rd to 6th grade level. At one point, that b!&ch librarian accused me of child abuse because she thought I was forcing my kid to read all these books. Little that I know at the time that he was on the spectrum, which undoubtedly contributed to his passion with books.
Ooops, my bad, did not see the part where she does not like being read to. Is the bedtime reading still part of the reading log requirement? If so, ditch it, in favor of “pleasure” reading. Could the older kids get involved with the younger one’s bedtime, to perhaps read to her at night too?
My reluctant reader loved Tin Tin (agree, there are a couple which have not aged well and should be avoided) – the stories and imagery were complex enough, and he could enjoy at his own pace without feeling nagged. At the end of the day, our reluctant reader reminded us that everyone has different strengths and challenges. He is a talented athlete and musician, but may never read much for pleasure, despite being raised by two people with advanced degrees.
I had a good friend at Harvard who was dsylexic. He never ever read for pleasure. He graduated summa cum laude in economics and then went to Medical School. He almost flunked third grade because he could barely read.
@greenbutton gave great advice: “I for one would not fake the log (again, I haven’t read the whole thread). Explain to the teacher that you aren’t going to do it. Or have a very generous interpretation of the rules.”
Meet with the teacher, and discuss this reading situation. When I told Happykid’s teacher that there would be no math homework done ever again because of what that was doing to the family, a whole lot of better things started happening at school as well as having the stress level drop immediately at home. Until you are straight with the teacher about this, there are a lot of things that can’t change.
I remember talking to a teacher because my kid had a total meltdown about doing a popup card for Charlotte’s Web. She felt terrible - she thought she had given out an assignment that kids would find fun. My kiddo got permission to do something less artistic. In my experience, teachers really are pretty sympathetic if you don’t undermine them.
Well kid had a teacher who had a “contest” for reading the most books. Your “star” would move around the room based on the number of books read. Number, not pages. Well, my kid was reading Harry Potter by then–and his 400 page book still equaled “one book”. Didn’t matter the reading material or how long the book. I asked. I figured one HP book should equal x number of books. Nope. So much for that.
Poor kid who knew how to read before even starting kindergarten was in basically last place. He wasn’t happy to say the least (not that he was giving up his Harry Potter!).
So we (meaning me) gamed the system–sometimes you just have to. Dragged him to the library, got the shortest stupid books we could find and he read them. In an afternoon. I filled out the dreaded “reading log”. 10 or 15 books in an afternoon can send your star a long way. Can’t fight stupid.
Whether you “fudge” the logs or talk directly to the teacher, I think the point is not to battle with your child over it. At least that is what I’m taking from this thread. I want to do all I can to make reading pleasant and not a pressure filled chore.
One of mine at that age was not a fan of reading. She was always a people person and became bored easily since she was a busy little one. She eventually found the Guinness Book of World Records and the Ripley’s Believe It or Not books fascinating and since they were just short snippets, they held her attention. The other thing? Beautiful Cookbooks. We could bake and read the recipes as we went along.
Lots of good ideas here. I second getting a hearing and a vision test. Missed whether or not she likes listening to stories read aloud by audiobook. Both my daughters loved being read to when they were little but they also loved and this will date me, the book/cassette in which we listened to the cassette frequently in the car and they could follow along in the book, anything from classics like Ferdinand which we also had bi-lingual version English/Spanish to Disney read-alongs and others that seemed to be from Fisher-Price. They enjoyed the oversize Disney books that matched the Little Mermaid, Lion King, Disney movies. Children’s magazines are great choices especially as they frequently include puzzles and games. My kids loved the Anti-Coloring coloring books in which you are given a prompt and you draw/write whatever you want. Using puppets to create a story/read it back and illustrate is fun. I also recommend the I Spy and the Where’s Waldo type of visual puzzle books. My girls had a whole series of children’s books about artists that introduced you to Picasso, Chagall, Monet,etc that they loved to look at. Beyond that I wouldn’t stress too much. One other thought… D.E.A.R time at home… Drop Everything and Read -everyone in the family together perhaps looking at magazines as well as books with the TV off… some music in the background- also a great way to introduce your children to different types of music. Another thought when my kids were little they loved the videos I used to take from the library, usually from Weston Woods or Rabbit Ears Productions, classic stories, animated versions read along by performers including Jack Nicholson and with really hip musicians. If you can find Reading Rainbow anywhere on video, that is another great option.
I don’t have advice but do want to say I feel the pain. My ex-husband was sure our older daughter would start reading at age 3 because she loved being read to and was and is very talkative. Nope. Reading didn’t click for her or her sister until the summer after first grade. Now, at age 27, D1 is the only person I know who keeps pace with me in amount and variety of reading. One thing she really hated in first grade was having to write something about whatever reading had been done that day at home, either by her or by us. It was torture for all of us for her to do that homework.
Now she is a writer (i.e., she gets paid to write), although I don’t think her handwriting, spelling, and punctuation have improved very much. But she certainly has a voice!
Hi all,
I just spoke with my daughters 1st grade teacher. She says D is on reading level “H” and they want them on “J” at the end of 1st. However, the teacher thinks this isn’t a problem. I really don’t know what to make of these levels. Anyone out there know if I should now be concerned that she isn’t on grade level?
@gallentjill she is on grade level just not where they want her to be. Use this site to look and compare the books at the different levels and you will see that it isn’t that big of a deal. https://www.readinga-z.com/books/leveled-books/