How to support a 6th-grade daughter who loves writing (when I am terrible at it!)

Pre-College Topics
1

My daughter who is in 6th grade loves writing. She writes every chance she gets. In 5th grade her school used to have daily prompts for which she needs to write 1-2 pages each day in response to that prompt. This used to be her favorite activity by far and she ends up writing 6-8 pages. The teacher would provide detailed feedback and my daughter used to update that in class.

This year the county adopted a new language arts program called Benchmark and the writing prompts were dropped from the curriculum. The 6th grade teacher even requested permission for daily prompts which was rejected by the county. So now my daughter has little actual writing and feedback other than some very structured short answer type responses. She started a friend group to come up with writing prompts and get friends to review each others writing, but it tapered off as school year progressed and her friends were not as interested in this activity.

I enrolled her in AOPS Language Arts class but that has like 4 writing prompts for the whole year and is structured to produce one essay per quarter. I tried getting her to quit this program as it not really meeting the need and also want to avoid additional academic work on top of school. But she loves this program and does not want to stop.

I am more of a math person and I am really terrible at writing. I am an immigrant and have not learned grammar or any structured instruction in writing. Only during Covid when I got some kindergarten and 1st grade language arts books to teach my daughter did I realize how bad I was. I can identify a noun and a verb, that too not very confidently and nothing beyond that.

My daughter churns out 4-5 stores/narratives, etc. every week but there is no one to provide feedback. It all looks great to me and have nothing to say to her other than “great”.

My son who is now 19 and in college, he was similarly interested in math. He used to bug me to give him problems when we are hiking or going on drives, that I used to have a list of problems always to throw at him. I worked on AOPS books with him and probably solved a quarter of the problems by myself to be able to explain it to him. Eventually he vastly exceeded my math skills but he still loves to explain interesting problems he encountered and we have long discussions. I think having someone who can guide a little especially early on helped him.

I want to similarly help my daughter in writing. I have two questions

1. What is the best way to support her in writing? Do I hire someone to read her writing and provide feedback? I want to avoid anything that turns her off and I dont want writing to become a chore. What I think is missing is the casual feedback that I as a parent could have given her, had been more competent in writing.

2. How do I become competent at age 54 in writing? I have two masters engineering degrees, so I am probably not completely hopeless. What do you suggest?

There are many posters who write so beautifully and get to the core of the issue in such a fantastic manner, I would love to hear how you learned to write like that. One such amazing poster is @NiceUnparticularMan

Thank you!

1 Like
2

My local public library has fantastic writing programs.

Some are school based (an annual competition- fiction, poetry, non-fiction, etc.) geared towards 6, 7 and 8th grade. Some are independent- a “writer’s circle” led by a librarian where kids meet to review and critique (gently) each other’s work, just like real grownup authors do in MFA programs and the like.

See if your library or one in a close by town has this kind of literary programming?

My kids never did the CTY online courses but they did do the in-person summer programs. They loved it. Fantastic staff, excellent social environment. But I checked the online options and there are classes starting soon that might be appropriate for your D. Don’t know if affordable or if she’s interested in summer classes, but the curriculum, teaching methodology, etc. are taught to a uniformly high quality standard with exceptional faculty.

https://cty.jhu.edu/cty-experience/courses?modality=All&area_of_interest[145990]=145990&field_is_available=1

Do not try to accelerate her. The classes are taught at a challenging level, so when they say they’re appropriate for “entering 7th grade” you can trust them!

I LOVE a young writer!!! Will try and think of other options for her….

5 Likes
3

Honestly? The best way to become a writer is to be a reader. Be a voracious reader, of many different genres. People who are good writers and good with grammar haven’t memorized a lot of rules necessarily. They have just read so much that proper sentence structure and grammar are second nature to them.

As far as the craft of writing - does she prefer to write fiction or essays? Your local bookstore may have fiction writing groups. Or just write for the pure pleasure of it. Much of writing is learned in editing, but just getting the s*** first draft down (thank you Anne Lamont) is important.

Speaking of Anne, she has written a great book on writing called “Bird by Bird.” It’s a classic

7 Likes
4

This, this, this. Literary osmosis.

2 Likes
5

I was going to recommend checking out your local library as well!

1 Like
6

I agree…encourage reading…and of a variety of genres.

Maybe see if your DD is interested in keeping a journal of her own. Not for anyone else to read, but just to do.

And she is 6th grade…please encourage her to be a…sixth grader. Let her enjoy her young tween and teen years. She will never get those back.

2 Likes
7

I agree that adding further classes on to a middle school kid can be a lot, and can become a burden, rather than something that they enjoy doing. However, I think that summer programs are actually really enjoyable - they’re like summer camp, but the organized activities are around creative writing (or whatever topic the course has).

If she really likes writing, I would recommend one of the summer programs for creative writers that are provided by Northwestern’s CTD (www.ctd.northwestern.edu) or Johns Hopkins’ CTY (cty.jhu.edu). Idyllwild arts Young Writers Workshop is also a great summer program.

There are other ones as well.

My kid took a good number of these (CTD because we lived in Chicagoland) from third grade, and she absolutely loved them - especially the summer residential programs. She actually was at a summer program every summer from the summer between 6th and 7th grad to the summer between junior and senior year in high school. She is still in contact with people who she met there.

4 Likes
8

This is great and you are a wonderful supportive mom!
Look into writing competitions and see if that is something your daughter could benefit from. You can always hire a tutor who would work with your daughter and provide feedback. If you are OK with online, I can recommend a retired teacher who is very personable and great for what you are looking for.
Love of writing is a gift! Good luck to you and your daughter!

9

Use Google to find online courses on writing and learn to use AI (artificial intelligence) for editing & rewriting, then examine the difference between your daughter’s work product and the AI revised writing.

Amazon should have dozens of books that teach one how-to improve his or her writing skills.

1 Like
10

I don’t think a sixth grader needs to learn to use AI. Sixth grade is when kids hone their ability to develop a narrative, use descriptive language, use grammatically correct complex sentences with appropriate punctuation.

3 Likes
11

AI will show her how to do so.

A 6th grader starved for instruction & critiques on writing can use AI, books on writing,and online courses.

1 Like
12

We don’t really know what she is writing. Stories? Essays? I once bought a book with some interesting prompts and my kids and I wrote responses for awhile. It was fun. Maybe you can find some prompts for her. Would the teacher who used prompts in the past, be able to work with her?

One of mine wrote haiku type poems at age 7. The teacher made them into a book and 28 years later the class is still using it! Your daughter’s writing can encourage others. Perhaps that same teacher could make a book of her writing and make it available for other students to read.

I think we parents need to be careful when kids show interest and talent at a young age. You are very supportive to be looking for ways to help her grow as a writer. But it is easy to burn that interest out. I would keep it relaxed and authentic. Programs can come later.

My young writer (the one who wrote the haiku) ended up being a composer and is now a video artist. Admissions at Bennington, when we visited, told me that creative kids remain creative but may switch areas of focus, or go back and forth. So maybe allow your kid to be multi-faceted. And avoid making “writer” a source of identity in 6th grade. Lots of development ahead!

She could write for herself but it sounds like she wants an audience. She could write for the local paper, or self-publish, do summer programs, enter competitions. All kinds of possibilities. But I would keep it chill for a 6th grader and not link it to a lot of external prizes or praise. Again, that’s me.

5 Likes
13

I would have her expand her writing interests. How about poetry? That can become writing songs. How about writing a book for a child? AI can create the prompts for her if needed. How about reading a book and writing synopsis? Maybe she can write a manual for her grandparents on how to use some functions of their phone? Have some fun with it. My son also did a summer at Northwestern in math and loved it. But of course. Be a six grader and have fun. Maybe she can form a book club. She can write a play with friends. We actually did this as kid’s and then acted it out. It was horrible but we had fun :joy:

2 Likes
14

She isn’t far from being eligible to enter the Scholastic Awards (not sure why it isn’t displaying properly, but if you google it, you will see it is a long-running and well-known program.) It will give her something to strive for.

https://www.artandwriting.org/awards/

She can also submit to Teen Ink. This is a great creative outlet for all types of young artists, not just writers.

There are many types of writing competitions out there. She can also ask her teachers if they have any recommendations. Maybe there is a school newsletter she can get involved in.

I’m so glad your child loves writing. I work with students on college essays and while it may seem that writing is a dying art form, a surprising number of my students keep journals. Some even write old-fashioned snail mail letters.

3 Likes
15

One possibility to look into is Stanford Online High School – which is actually for grades 7-12, not just high school. My son went there and it has an excellent and well-beloved English program, as well as an even more-beloved philosophy program. Students can be single-course, part-time, or full-time. (They also have lots of very advanced STEM classes as well).

It is rather competitive to get in, and the deadline for next academic year has already passed, but it might be something to think about for 8th grade. They have a very, very strong English program and have a writing and tutoring center that is staffed by three English faculty members whose only job is to help students become better writers – although I think their assistance is probably limited to their class assignments.

Here is a link to the English curriculum:

Course Catalog | Stanford Online High School

And here is a link to their home page.

Homepage OHS | Stanford Online High School

This may be much more than you were thinking about, but it’s out there as a possibility for a single enrichment class. They are expensive, but they do offer financial aid.

And although it is an online school, it meets sychronously and the kids have clubs and there are both local and Stanford-based meetups, and the faculty hold office hours. It might be something that works out for her.

2 Likes
16

Looking for writing camps in your area. My daughter is a creative writing/English major in college now and loved going to writing camps. She did a free one through our local university and did one that cost money that a nationally known award winning author who lives locally organized. The author became her mentor and they are still in touch today.

Please do not do anything with AI. It’s terrible for creative souls.

4 Likes
17

I’m a high school teacher. I don’t teach reading or writing. I myself can only get by in composition. Honestly, when I wrote my dissertation, my then 8th grade daughter helped me with choice of words, paragraph structure, transitions, etc.

I believe writing proficiency and mastery is gained through practice, and better done with peers under guidance and supervision, so a small interest group would be a perfect setting. Local libraries and universities are the most likely places to offer such programs. K-12 English teachers may know more. This does not have to be in person. I’ve heard my students talking about some online book clubs and fan fiction groups. Last year one of our 9th graders self published a book, I think on Amazon, after participating in some online writing groups.

18

Not sure that I agree with this statement as one can give instructions to the AI program to rewrite in a specific style or in a particular tone as well as other variations.

19

We’re talking about a sixth grader. Who loves to write. There is no evidence that this kid wants to learn how to give instructions to the AI program to write like Tolstoy and then rewrite it like Hemingway. That’s fine and good for someone who ALREADY understands composition, rhetoric, tone, idiomatic usage. It’s a party trick for a 6th grader, who is still learning those things. We aren’t debating whether AI knows how to write. We are helping a parent help their kid LEARN to write, become a better writer, expand her scope as a writer. And there is zero evidence that AI will do that.

6 Likes
20

Thank you all for sharing so many helpful tips and suggestions.

She loves writing which so far has been a mix of creative writing (short stories), comics, essays. I am 100% on board with not making this into an extension of school or a chore. My main objective is to keep her love for writing alive.

Here are some additional details and would love your suggestions for the second reason for my post.

My daughter loves K-Pop, Dance, Painting and Writing. She is doing one of these things in her free time, which I make sure she has plenty.

I am her dad (male) and have no interest or skill in any of these. With my son I share many common interests, math, baseball, business/investing/behavioral finance, etc. I can talk on any of these with my son and have long conversations. Having a background working alongside him in math, I think helped as he grew and that lets me have a window into him in addition to the normal parent/child bond.

With my daughter I want to be able to build similar relationship. K-Pop, Dance and Painting are not going to be something I can connect. I am thinking writing is one vehicle where I can be a part of. I want to get at least better to be able to understand and appreciate her writing, even if I am not able to actually advice her on these. How do I go about getting better in writing myself?

Thank you!