That is really sad that one’s parents would not allow their child to select their own career path. I know of someone whose parents pushed him into the family career (CPA) and daddy’s firm, which he absolutely hates. He has has mental health and substance abuse issues and has just recently completed another hospitalization. Not saying its because he was pushed into a field he dislikes, but it probably doesn’t help.
People spend a lot of time at work, a great percentage of their waking hours. Nobody loves their job all the time, but to think that you’d hate your job, day in and day out, is beyond sad. Parents who think they know best, an “occupational hazard of parenting,” do their kids and family a disservice. It’s a delicate balance between guiding kids and masterminding their lives.
As I understand it, lots of the criticism on this post about OP seems unfounded. He (she?) doesn’t want to force the kid not to be an artist, though he has real questions about the kid’s a) motivation and b) talent. He feels it doesn’t make sense to pay elite school tuition for a degree in which where you went to school doesn’t matter. I would be surprised if RISD grads get better HS teaching jobs than others. So, if that were the known career path, why not save the $$ and put them away for the kid’s later use. But, as many have pointed out, career choices made in HS are pretty malleable.
Not all HS art teachers are that great as artists. While some are very good, my wife juries and curates shows and has had to turn down art teachers she knows from our kids’ schools.
The OP’s tone in his 2 posts is generally negative. So some of the feedback he is getting seems on an equal footing.
“better HS teaching jobs than others” - “Better” job is a secondary concern here. the first and foremost concern is to get a job of art teacher, just a job, I do not think that the art teacher will have options to choose from, the art teacher will be very lucky to obtain a job as a art teacher, although miracles do happen.
“Anyone else been in a similar position?”
Actually, I am in a similar position. My daughter excels at STEM, and is also a pretty good artist, but she wants to be a fiction writer. She has talent, but I expect this is not an easy or particularly lucrative career path for most people. We have discussed this and I told her she should have a backup plan in case it doesn’t work out. Her backup plan will probably be teaching and I have no problem with that. We’ve also discussed that she should take sufficient STEM classes in high school so that she will have a decent background if she has a change of heart in college, and she is fine with that.
@ucbalumnus, he’s lucky that at least one school he’s applying to (U. Mississippi) will take it, plus give him tuition +room for being NMSF. Yes, the D’s are going to limit his options even with his elite test scores. Live and learn.
Phil: Many kids, and more often boys than girls, do not get that excited about choosing colleges until fall of senior yar. He may start focusing on this more as school starts again and the other seniors are talking about where to apply and what to major in.
If he is going for studio art, he will need a portfolio. If he is not that good, he may not get in.
If you won’t pay for an out of state public, then tell him that now. If you will only pay for an expensive school if it meets certain criteria (has a major instate doesn’t offer; is smaller, etc) let him know now. If you will only pay $X per year, tell him he has to cover the rest with loans.
But the bottom line is you can’t control his major. You may be able to require a minor or a second major, but if he wants to do art education and can get into the program, you will be hard pressed to stop him unless you want to cut him off entirely.
You may have to think of college as a final gift to your child - with some responsibility on their part to do study hard.
In my experience, most (but not all) kids that are not passionate about the arts come to realize pretty quickly that they really don’t want that major. You may want to back off on all the reasons this is a bad idea (in your opinion) and tell him you will support him in his choices, but with the economic limits you decide to place on his college choice.
I only have my own experiences to draw from, but I disagree with post #107 when it says that “most (but not all) kids who are passionate about the arts come to realize pretty quickly that they really don’t want that major”. I know lots of arts majors (primarily drama and music, though visual arts too) and can only think of a couple who have dropped that major since starting college. Maybe that’s b/c my D went to an arts HS- those kids were already pretty passionate. In fact, I can think of FAR more who started with a what the world would call a “real” major, (to satisfy parents etc) and then realized that their heart is in the arts.
How about - do both! A few years ago one of the most brilliant kids in the universe, or at least that I have ever met, , who finished calc at 13 and earned his Doctorate in some extreme mathematical degree by 25, loved music.
Solution - He got his doctorate in math and a Master’s in Music. He composes music, writes plays, etc. as a hobby while teaching at the flagship State U.
Why sacrifice one for the other?
I agree with Shoshonte…if you are really a genius…do both. This is an older brother of someone I went to high school with…http://web.media.mit.edu/~mike/ - MIT Professor and Piano prodigy
Toowonderful: You misquoted me. I said kids who are NOT passionate about the arts may drop the major, not those that are. The OP did not think art was a passion for this kid.
@mom2and - you are correct, I see that now, and I apologize :>
As soon as I read the OPs post that the kid is a genius with a 34 ACT, I knew that a classic cc: smack down was coming. lol
I would not think anything of that sentence coming from an average parent, but on cc: I knew there was no chance of that getting by without being challenged. I really did not take it that the OP meant genius in the clinical sense, but in the proud parent sense. lol However, on this forum, however, any score between 30 and 35 seems to qualify as “decent.”
This may have come up in a previous post, but our state U has an excellent art conservation program, a nice hybrid for an interest in both art and the sciences. As other posters have pointed out, many students change majors several times. Also, my personal observation of teachers in our area(public schools) is that they like working with kids, enjoy having summers off(or traveling or working in a seasonal job in a vacation area) to be with their families.
Their health benefits are also much better and cheaper than our private employer provided benefits, and the pensions are still very substantial. Many science types in the private sector work for companies which have no pension plans any more.
Please do NOT follow this advice.
If, as you say, your S is not in fact talented, that fact will become clear to him after he takes a few courses populated with more talented people. Let him come to his realizations on his own. Crushing his dreams and emphasizing his limitations is not his parents’ job.
I would suggest that the best kind of school for a broadly talented student who could go in several academic directions is a good general university or LAC. Public or private is irrelevant. Not art school, not a tech school, not a business school. Not a school that requires that one apply “as” some major or other and makes it difficult to switch.
A school where no matter what he decides to pursue the options will be there. And one from which he can graduate with reasonable–or no–debt.
I would just steer him to a school that has other options if he choose a different path. So maybe not an art school, but a University with a good art program.
This poor kid.
He’s smart enough to be called a “genius” but apparently not smart enough to know what he likes.
Thank goodness that others know his mind better than he does.
I didn’t leave. I’ve actually been on the road with him for the last week visiting schools, so it’s been a little difficult to check in every hour.
And my main concern hasn’t really changed since my last post, so I didn’t see the need for engaging him some defensive or offensive battle. My main concern remains that the curricula I’ve seen don’t seem to provide a lot of room for exploring majors beyond art education. So where is that most likely to happen?
Since most students change majors at least once, I don’t think it’s “unsupportive” of me to help find a school that can provide a good Plan B. I think many of the 120+ responses have been consistent with this view.
Phil
Many of my sons friends desired to be music education major (band teachers) - all sorts of reasons why but i’ts amazing 2 years into college and only a handful remain music education majors…they found out 1) it is a lot harder to get into a good music school than they thought; 2) music education is actually hard - you have to be talented in more than 1 instrument, you have to practice all the time, and you have to sing?; 3) figured out there is not a lot of money in music education. Most of them didn’t care about the money issue, they found out pretty early though that it’s not as easy and fun a major as they thought it was going to be. Actually, the 2 remaining friends intending to be band teachers are the 2 that I thought would make good band teachers…they may still end up leaving if the education money runs out.