<p>Hi, Help me. My daughter broke up a year ago after a 2 year relationship- her first. They swore they were going to get married. He kept stringing her along telling her he loved her all the while going around dissing(spelling?) her to anyone who would listen. A very popular and charismatic guy. But really a jerk. She was 12 when they met. They started dating at 15. We wanted her to break it off much earlier but she refused to see what he was doing. A very controlling and manipulative guy. She spent an entire summer in bed. We went as a family to a counselor briefly. She has had a couple of very brief relationships since, but breaks them off for fear over being hurt. She broke it off with a nice guy last night for the same reason. Says she isn’t over Matt.
She is headed off to college this fall. Tends to be very quiet and change is hard for her. A great girl, very pretty, very taneted, but this relationship has left her with very low self-confidence. Any thoughts? Please help
mommacatz</p>
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<p>I suspect that this is what prompted your post. You mentioned a brief period of family counseling, but have you considered individual counseling for your D?
Is it possible that she is still somewhat depressed?<br>
I think sometimes a good psychologist has ways of getting people to see things in a different light, as well as provide guidance in ways of coping with negative feelings about themselves. It may be fear of getting hurt, or it may be something else. Having someone to talk to through this transition might be a good idea- a year is a long time to be still thinking of an ex, at her age. Good luck to you and her.</p>
<p>I second looking into individual counseling for your daughter. Dealing with 15-18 girls can be frustrating. Sometimes, no matter what you say to them, it will be pecieved in a negative way, just because it came out of the parents’ mouths. Having another adult to deliver the words of wisdom makes a huge difference.</p>
<p>I was surprised to see this thread active again. I was the OP on this one. My d did not get back together with the BF but has been going out with one of his friends for about 7 months now and it seems to be a much healthier relationship. I was just reminding her about how distraught she was over the breakup last fall and she just laughs now and cannot believe she ever felt that way.
Mommacatz…I wish you and your daughter the best going thru this. My d really thought she would never find anyone else, was so down (she did go to see a counselor which really helped) but now is much happier.</p>
<p>Searched for this thread to look for hints. This part of life that hurts so much. I like the girl, sorry she just broke my son’s heart.</p>
<p>lamom-
There is a lot of this going around apparently the timing is right with colleges gearing up. My D just went through this and I don’t know how to cut and paste (I’m new to Macs sorry, so maybe you could search for threads started by me) I will try to bump(?) up that thread for you as it has a lot of great input from some wise people. Also search for a thread started by “timely” for more good input. We hurt too and since our children are hurting so much we only have avenues like this sometimes.
My heart goes out to you, good luck.</p>
<p>lamom-
Any updates???</p>
<p>Thank you for pointing me to the thread. Son is very private but he seems his old self. I know this was a big loss for him. They are two nice people, feelings just stopped for one.</p>