In this thread, as in all threads, my default is to accept the OP’s interpretation of events. @conmama was weirded out by this person’s comments, and she wants to go in prepared with a light, humorous response, if this happens again. I painfully remember many a slight ( or perceived slight) from years ago. I run through the scenario in my head, and wish I handled it better. Her request was very normal. She doesn’t want to crush this guy or ruin his relationship with her husband. She just wants to have some response ready.
But I’ll bet you anything that he doesn’t remark about the dress.
There’s a wonderful scene in one of The Crazy Rich Asian books where one of the characters is put out because another character is not wearing a new dress to her wedding. Later (don’t read if you might consider this a spoiler!)
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we learn that the reason the character is recycling the dress is because at another wedding she attended all the gossip columnists wrote about was what she wore to the wedding and not what the bride was wearing.
Is it possible that this guy is a little bit on the spectrum with a photographic memory? I do like the comeback about the shoes, it’s cute, but not aggressive or mean. Ditto for “It’s my husband’s favorite.”
I don’t think it’s 12 years since he made the comment. The OP wore the dress to the party for the first time 12 years ago. She’s worn it a few times since then, and this guy commented about it .
I like the “it’s one of my H’s favorites” response. To me, the guy is implying the OP is cheap because she’s worn the same outfit. Saying that “It’s one of my H’s favorites” says it’s not about the $; it’s about doing something my H likes and, yes, it implies, “because he’s the only man whose opinion I care about.” I don’t see it as saying “My H has to protect me.”
"I recycle my dresses if I really love them, maybe every 5 or 6 years. My very first dress I wore I still have and love. I can still wear it and it looks appropriate. I’ve worn it 3 times to the party. "
"Anyway, I wore it about 12 years ago (my 3rd time). One of the guys there that DH works closely with made some sort of remark to me letting me know it was a recycler. "
Maybe the guy was implying she was smart and responsible to shop her closet instead of a store. Maybe he thought she would be flattered that he remembered it. Maybe it was derogatory. Who knows. But obviously several cc’ers would be embarrassed to be caught wearing a formal dress more than once.
the OP wrote this-
"We always sit with him and I want to be ready for a comeback that isn’t nasty, but humorous (as others might be standing around) but when he leaves he thinks “huh!”
I’m not confrontational IRL and don’t tell people off, or know witty comebacks…so need help with this jerk."
I think it’s best to take the OP at her word that this guy is, in her words, “a jerk”.
and she knows better than any of us about this guys character, after having to sit next to him , over and over again, during the past 12 + years.
so, all she wants is a snappy comeback , not a psychological diagnosis as to why he said what he said, just in case he acts true to form and does says something, AGAIN, about a dress she loves and has previously worn, regardless of HOW long ago is was.
sheesh…
Tell him that Kate Middleton repeats her outfits. You’re just feeling royal! Or “yes, it’s al the rage. Kate Middleton does the same thing.”
I think its wonderful you repeat your gowns. More women and especially high school girls with prom dresses should do this! I would have loved to have worn my wedding gown again!
@marilyn, I can promise you nothing else is going on here besides a 12 year old comment. What does that even imply?
The guy is a bit of a jerk, but not all the time. He’s been a jerk to my husband, as he has others. He’s not well liked in his company, but is extremely smart and they’ve all worked together decades. Again, he’s not like that all time, and like all people has good points, but I still don’t like him. Who knows why he can memorize things like that as a guy? I know if someone wore a dress I really liked, I’d remember it. His first wife loved my dress and made over it, so that’s probably why.
One could think he said something out of social ignorance, but I don’t think that’s the case, me knowing this guy. I think he was just trying to make me feel a little bit bad, the way he said it.
But whatever the reason, like @menloparkmom said, I just want a subtle witty comeback. Just in case.
And yes, I love fashion and enjoy all aspects of it. I used to own a clothing boutique.
I finally mentioned it to my husband this morning as I was discussing what dress to wear. After I told him what the guy said, he replied “you have to be kidding, what an ass”. I told him he might say something again. He replied, “just say, how odd you would remember”.
I think I’ll say that and then just continue looking at him with a smile and wait for a reply.