Tell him if Tiffany Haddish does it, you can, too! [-(
Where did the notion that it is bad to wear the same clothing again come from?
I agree with the tenor of some of these responses, not so much with others. Never let a bully see you bristle so don’t get snarky. Best is to smile and agree, something along the lines of, “Thanks, I love this dress.” It works better if you pretend you didn’t hear him the first time and make him repeat himself. I also think it would be a mistake to mention your husband, a subtle reference that you need him for protection.
Many guys think try to be charming by taking subtle digs at the women they encounter and causing them to be defensive. Don’t give in. Never give in.
Then shut him down by blowing him off entirely. This lets him know he is low social value to you. “Oh, there’s Linda. I need to talk to her. I’ll see you later.” Smile and walk away without looking back.
I’d lean against saying anything about my husband at all, and I say this as a 30+ year military spouse. IMO it’s impolite to comment on something I’m wearing the way it sounds this person has done. I don’t want him doing that whatever my “category” (colleague, spouse, server, parole officer) might be. I’ll handle someone whose behavior I find out of line, and I’ll do it with as much elegance as I can muster. My husband is welcome to hold my coat. 
@Magnetron we must have cross-posted, that “need him for protection” vibe is exactly what I was thinking of!
Personally, I would leave my H out of it and say something like, “I’m flattered that you remember it,” or as @jasmom suggested, “Thank you, it’s one of my favorites.” Then turn the conversation to something else or turn to someone else. It’s polite, dignified, and leaves him flat-footed. He can hardly dig himself in further by actually explaining that he didn’t mean it as a compliment.
I think that the flirty or suggestive comebacks, although fun to read, would be very, very unwise. Also, to me, the fact that you are another man’s wife is completely beside the point. He was rude to you as an individual the last time. It would have been just as rude if you were single. You don’t “belong” to anyone. Better to respond as an independent grown-up. No need to be coy.
I’m curious, is he more of an a-hole, or as I imagine, a techy big bang theory type who just notices and has no ill intent behind it? My mom was one of these people who could remember what she wore and what everyone else wore to every event. She meant nothing more than, remember so and so’s wedding, I wore that light blue dress I bought at wherever, and you had on that pretty green dress. She remembered what she was wearing when she met my father and at every event in her life. She remembered clothes more than the year or events around it.
My friend with a figure to die for has this gorgeous 40’s era looking dress she’s worn a few times to various events. She loves it, I love it, I always tell her it’s one of my favorites. If I looked like that I’d be wearing it to the grocery store.
Meanwhile my husband wears the same tux all the time and no one seems to know or care.
I wonder if he says this to anyone else. Over the years he must have accrued a mind full of who’s-wearing-what-dress if the staff has been stable!!!
@eyemamom: “If I looked like that I’d be wearing it to the grocery store.”
Made my day.
Asked my husband about this. His thinks you should say “yes, and I plan on wearing it one more time, to your funeral” (remember Katherine Hepburn saying this to Barbara Walters years ago.)
Watch now, he won’t say anything!
Watch now, he won’t say anything!
^^^^ Nnnnooooooooooooo!
Thats easy. Youre so hot you can still rock the same dress after 12 years! Youre not some desperate housewife who needs to buy new dresses every year just so she feels pretty.
I’m still not clear what this guy said 12 years ago that was so insulting to you that you held a grudge for all that time. What was it that bothered you so much? He’s done nothing else in over a decade, right? Not an ongoing habit of his? Why did this make him a jerk? I’m fine with our social group recognizing my outfits; we don’t move in a crowd that expects new couture for each dressy occasion. I’m getting the impression from many of these comments that one is supposed to pretend that they’ve never seen an outfit before. Everyone was delighted when Rita Moreno recycled a 56 year old Oscar gown.
This guy is a co-worker, not a close friend. It’s a company function not a backyard bbq where people are joking around and pushing each other in the pool (meaning, having a really casual good time) - at least that’s the way I read @conmama post.
She’s fine with repeating her dress! He’s the one that seems to have a problem with it - he didn’t seem to complement her like “oh, I can’t tell you how much I love that dress” (which to me would still be weird from someone I don’t call close friends) it was more like “what the heck? Repeating the same dress at the same function?!”
I support her feeling weird about it. Some people are more conscious about what they wear, how it’s received and such. We might not all feel that way but…I hope I can have the liberty to say this…I “know” from CC that @conmama really puts a lot of thought into what she wears and how she looks - it’s important to her to feel good and to be received well (nothing wrong with that!) - I fully understand her point of view.
My daughter is doing a paper right now on the impacts of the fashion/clothing industry on the environment. There are plenty of factoids online, so you could respond with something like this:
“Did you know that the average American throws away 68 pounds of textiles per person per year? Re-wearing dresses helps the environment!”
What I find surprising is that he remembered the dress after all that time. I wouldn’t remember what any given woman wore to party 12 years ago unless it was really outlandish or over-the-top in some very noticeable way.
He didn’t remember the dress from 12 years ago. Rather, 12 years ago he remembered that OP had worn the dress before, don’t know how long before. We don’t know what he said, just that it bothered OP at that time and she thinks he might still remember the dress 12 years later and say something again. He might have said something about recycling, or he might have said he remembered her wearing the dress before, or something else entirely. Why assume he had a problem with it!? We can’t jump to conclusions on no evidence; Not sure why so many decided he was a jerk 12 years ago and ergo will be one again.
Okay then let me restate:
What I find surprising is that he remembered the dress from a previous party and found it remarkable enough to comment on. I wouldn’t remember what any given woman wore to a prior party unless it were really outlandish or over-the-top in some very noticeable way. And if it were that memorable I think I would keep my mouth shut about it for fear of giving offense in some way.