<p>I have a school where I will not support my children going there, at all. In my case, I was a treated with bigotry and discrimination. The prejudice and hate there was awful. I will never willingly send a penny to a place like that. My children know this. But in my case, they knew this before the search and they, too, are not interested in going to a hate filled place like that. They know what I went through, as well as my sibling who went to the state school went to. So it is not an issue for us.</p>
<p>I am unsure what your husband’s reasons are, but, unless he is crossing off tons of schools just based on the sports teams, then I would respect his wishes. If it is just one school, then I would probably respect it.</p>
<p>I feel your pain and am BEYOND happy that DS’s intended major is not offered by either State Flagship U or In-state Rival! I attended neither, but my grandfather was a prof at State Flagship and my mom and dad met there, while DH has two degrees from Rival U and his mom and dad attended.</p>
<p>Nothing to do with “hate” the way you interpret lmkh ^^ it’s simply that people are either UofM supporters or MSU supporters and the rivalry can be deep and it can be multi-generational and it is much deeper than “sports.” The rivalry appears on surface to be stronger and more protracted for UofM grads than for MSU grads who see UofM supporters as smug and sometimes “silly.” UofM is letting in so many out of state kids it’s getting difficult for Michigan kids to get accepted to UofM which means there will be more and more “split” families. It is one of the few states that truly have 2 world class flagship universities. They also both have a medical school, a business school, a college of engineering etc. etc. and they are both huge with over 40,000 students each so lots of similarities and overlap.</p>
<p>My advice to the OP is to let it play out. Your D may not get accepted to UofM unless she is at the tippy top of her graduating class and that would take it off the table or she may prefer Hope or Miami etc. and that would take care of the situation, too.</p>
<p>My neighbor was telling me a story recently … her daughter went to Florida State and married a guy who went to Univ. of FL. When the daughter goes over to the in-laws house, she cannot park in their driveway because of the FSU sticker on her car! That is so crazy!! Totally agree that these people need to get a life!</p>
<p>Classic, I agree. They say we New Yorkers are mean, but having gone to school in New England, I think Boston fans are the most obnoxious. Ok, back to the topic.</p>
<p>^^if you are talking about Ann Arbor it is especially treasured by pockets of folks in the NE no doubt. My dad’s roommate in the 40s was from NJ. That adds to the rivalry with MSU that goes back generations. If you travel that far to attend a public university, albeit one admired everywhere, you don’t want to “feel” like the uni an hour and a half down the road is competitive in any way, shape or form. So I “get” the OPs husbands position…it isn’t unusual and he was an athlete…but it is kind of silly. We all want our kids to get into the best college they can that fits them best but someone being obdurate is tiring sometimes which is why the OP should just let it play out to it’s conclusion.</p>
<p>I would 100% support you on this. But I believe that the OP’s husband’s opposition to MSU has more to do with the hockey team than it does with a principled stand.</p>
<p>^^ Only if they live in Michigan otherwise UofM is super expensive for out of state. Actually if she got some nice merit from an out of state school it might be the same price. Michigan is currently running around $32,000 (unless you have need and UofM uses profile) for in-state kids plus or minus depending on what year they are.</p>
<p>I am another one who does not get the “hating a college” thing. Yes, it does make sense if you actually attended that school and had a horrible experience. I can also understand a parent not wanting to send a child to a school that was out of budget or a bad match academically or socially. But because of a sports rivalry? Ridiculous and immature.</p>
<p>Look, nobody ever said I was mature, but if one of my kids decided to attend poetgrl’s favorite school, he’d get an earful at every Thanksgiving dinner for life and a double earful during the NCAA tournament. (Just like my dad used to give it to me after I attended HIS arch-rival school.)</p>
<p>Run the net price calculator for all the schools. Then add another alternate school, ideally one that is private and pricey. It would be on the list if MSU (which I assume is a state school fpr upi) is not an option. That may open his eyes.</p>
<p>Here’s what D should say: “Dad, if you can get me accepted at Michigan, then of course I won’t consider MSU. Are you planning to make a big donation?”</p>
<p>I am a Michigan grad, and my best friend from Michigan and her Michigan-grad husband have 3 kids. #1 got into Michigan, but the next two did not. #2 was a recruited athlete, and competed for MSU. #3 is at MSU now, but hoping to transfer to Michigan soon.</p>
<p>Both parents certainly would like to have seen all 3 kids at Michigan, but they also did not want to pay out of state tuition or have their kids go to a directional if they could get into MSU. They twitch a little at rooting for MSU, but if they rib their kids they are careful to be good natured about it. They are grownups (not babies, like your DH) about it.</p>
<p>I think maybe the dads are a little more into the sports rivalry than moms.</p>
<p>UMich has become very tough to get into, even for state residents; MSU not so much. We know UMich die-hard fans and grads whose son is now at MSU. They are wearing the green and white, though probably not outside of Lansing, and I suspect it will be gone when their son graduates. However, he is at the best school for him (and he did NOT get into UM).</p>
<p>Perhaps your H can tolerate MSU for 4 years without denying his maize-and-blue love. The college choice is not about him, but his D.</p>