<p>I am all for the CC doctrine of not falling in love with one school, apply so you have choices, make sure you have an academic and financial safety, etc. We do this because when everything shakes out the ‘preferred’ school may not give an admit, scholarship, or FA to make the school an option and you have to move on. This young lady understands that UM may not be an option. It appears that financially and academically the best option for her may very likely be MSU. Nowhere have I ever read/heard condoned you pass on the best academic and financial option that offers an admit because dad has a twenty year old grudge.</p>
<p>I agree with many of the statements here. If admits come filtering in and the best academic and financial opportunity happens to be MSU the OPs daughter should be allowed the same happiness other kids are, not overshadowed by dad’s poor attitude. This is when he put’s on his big boy pants, slaps that MSU sticker proudly on the car, puts on the MSU t’shirt on move in day, and shows genuine appreciation and respect for his daughter’s decision.</p>
<p>The OP definitely has some work to do, and no I don’t agree this is between the father and daughter. Why should the daughter have to deal with her father’s unresolved issues from 20 years ago on top of all the other stressors of applying to college and Sr. yr? I think this is one place ‘mom’ steps in and buffers until he can behave like an adult.</p>
<p>I don’t think there is any one good answer to this. You know the man; you ve lived with him for how many years? How much of a problem is this going to be? I think he’s being unreasonable, yes, and if it were myself or my DH who was mumbling about one school or program or whatever, it would stay as a low growl and we could all live with it. I wasn’t thrilled with any of my kids college choices, frankly. </p>
<p>But some people are nuts this way, and if it 's going make for a bad situation, it might be wise to stay away from those schools that he does not like. I say this because I’ve seen marriages, and relationships go downhill and crash, and things like this then become major abcesses. It’s bad enough when things fall apart but to have a pet peeve that is a “to pay” item, is really a nasty sore to have to deal with it. So you and your daughter have to make the call on this one as only you know how things are in the family and what risks there could be in picking a school that your DH despises.</p>
<p>Well, sometime parents just put their personal feeling over what is the best for the child. For couple of years, I also was one of them (never want my daughter to even consider my cross town rival school). However, as I talke to students and alumni from that school. I had changed my mind. I want the best for my child and won’t let my personal feeling going to stop that.</p>
<p>Hubby should watch the movie “The Blindside”. There is a scene towards the end where Leanne Tuhey (rabid Ole Miss alum and supporter) tells Michael Orr, “I think you ought to go to Tennessee and play football there. I will be at everyone of your games, cheering you on. However, I will NOT wear that god awful orange color - I never looked good in orange.”</p>
<p>I read this thread with a little interest. Not for a bad reason because we support our son’s right to choose which college he goes to, but he recently committed (athlete) to the school he felt was best for him, though he had an offer that was from a much more visible school. The one where we would have been able to be a little braggy.</p>
<p>(I HATE admitting this!)</p>
<p>We just have to know his choice was his own, and stand aside. It’s hard, though!</p>
<p>I did not realize parents were allowed to throw tantrums. i am going to try this to force my kid to apply to a college of my choice</p>