@mom2collegekids That was a typo on my part. Thanks for noticing! Should be 2140, not 2240. My father got his undergraduate degree in ME and grad degree in IE (and buisiness management I think?). I’ve wanted to pursue BME my entire life, even before it became a popular degree. I really enjoy the medical field, calculus, and sciences, so I see it as great way to combine my strengths to help other people. I am very interested in making technology used in hospitals, or possibly working with 3d printers and stem cell research. I wrote my graduation research paper on using stem cells and 3d printers. I also would like to possibly pursue designing prosthetics, artificial organs, etc.
@mom2collegekids That was a typo on my part. Thanks for noticing! Should be 2140, not 2240. My father got his undergraduate degree in ME and grad degree in IE (and buisiness management I think?). I’ve wanted to pursue BME my entire life, even before it became a popular degree. I really enjoy the medical field, calculus, and sciences, so I see it as great way to combine my strengths to help other people. I am very interested in making technology used in hospitals, or possibly working with 3d printers and stem cell research. I wrote my graduation research paper on using stem cells and 3d printers. I also would like to possibly pursue designing prosthetics, artificial organs, etc.
@Jamrock411 It’s fully paid tuition, room and board, and $2,500 towards study abroad. Also I applied in case an emergency happened in the family and we needed the money. I didnt think my parents would take it this seriously.
Whatever you do, don’t go to App state. Don’t give up your dreams, you want to be an engineer and App state doesn’t have engineering! It would be a total waste to go!
How much is USC for you? It has a pretty good engineering school (top ten on US news). If I was in your boat I would only pick either USC or G.Tech. Don’t settle for something less.
Maybe it is because you are adopted and your foster parents just want to save money. I’m not saying they are selfish but you have to consider the fact that they aren’t your real parents. Tell them that you are willing to work while in college to help pay. Maybe they don’t want the burden of paying the loan so just tell them you take full responsibility and will pay it off yourself. Your foster parents seem rather rich… make a deal with them. If you become an engineer you will make a lot of money. So ask them if you could loan the money from them and promise to pay back when you become an engineer. That way you don’t have to worry about paying interest.
^^If you are adopted, they are your parents, not your foster parents.
@OspreyCV22 My parents have applied to jobs and internships for me without my say in the past, so this didn’t come as a surprise to me. Accepting the admission and doing the initial steps of enrollment are quite easy, unfortunately for me. Thanks for the link and advice though, very helpful!!
“Maybe it is because you are adopted and your foster parents just want to save money. I’m not saying they are selfish but you have to consider the fact that they aren’t your real parents.”
There are many adoptive parents, myself included, who will take great offense to that statement.
I’m not saying all adoptive parents are like that. I am just saying you still have to consider that possibility. It may or may not be true for her.
@ShrimpBurrito @EYeager I was adopted when I was a baby, so it’s not really that kind of problem. However, me and my parents have EXTREME differences in how we live. My brothers, who are all biologically related to my parents, are all laid back. I, on the other hand, am sequential and competitive. My family and I disagree on almost every political issue, and, overall, I just seem to be on a different wavelength than all of them. They obviously love me very much, but have always struggled with understanding me.
It’s weird that your Dad majored in ME as an undergrad and works in the field. He MUST understand that physics is not a way into the field. What does he say when you approach it that way? Also…can you change your passwords into your application accounts so they don’t do anything else without your consent for the moment?
Although App State is a very solid school (4 stars), I’m afraid I’d have to bet against it in this case. You need to be blunt with your parents. Tell them App State isn’t right for you.
If OP has committed to App State, can they with draw their down payments and commit elsewhere?
I don’t really think it’s helpful telling OP, “don’t go to App State.” They cannot simply not go. Have you visited App State? Maybe you should visit with your parents and if they don’t like it, they can change their mind. Visiting Northwestern let my mom agree with my #1 choice school.
Also, why are your parents so steadfast on App State? Can you encourage them to have a meeting with you and a guidance counselor? I spoke to a private adcom and that help my mom see the merits in choosing NU even with its high price.
@carachel2 Ahah yeah I definitely changed all of mine (especially so they don’t decline any admits without me knowing). My dad is the president of his company and I can honestly say he only hires engineers. However, his buddy who does stem cell research hires engineers, physicists, chemists, etc. They keep throwing that example at me whenever I try to say I wouldn’t be focused in what I want to do. Do you have any suggestions on examples I could give them to disprove this?
@CaliCash Great idea! Any idea how I could get in contact with one of these adcom people?
My sympathies for a young person put into this kind of position by parents. Is there someone who can help speak on your behalf like a minister, trusted family friend, or close relative? Unfortunately, you don’t have much choice except for going through your parents and that’s going to take some powers of persuasion that you may not have at your age. Maybe come up with a plan that shows what the cost difference will be between NC State and Appalachian State and how you will repay that to them when you are grown up. I wonder if it’s some kind of family equity issue; is it because they spent no money on your brothers’ educations or limited how much they contributed to their educations? It’s hard to know what’s motivating them, but identify it and address it. Don’t get depressed and withdraw. Even if Appalachian State is where you end up, make the best of it and then make plans to transfer.
“Facts” aren’t the issue here. People are. Have their “facts” convinced you? Do you think they are any more likely to be convinced by yours? Or will they view what you say the same way you are viewing what they say?
You need to defuse the hostility here, and a barrage of “facts” is not going to change anyone’s mind. In fact while people are emotional they are not listening, and certainly not going to be persuaded.
I picked up Diamonds’ book “Getting More” to look thru it a bit, and one point he makes is that a negotiator ought to primarily be asking questions. Dad has this friend he seems to trust. Why not suggest a talk with this friend to find out what he says about the field. Ask him what kinds of jobs are open to chemists, both at his company and in the biotech industry in general. To physicists. To engineers. Ask about what level of education is required for each. And you need to be genuine here; if this guy is doing stem cell research he knows a lot about the field, why not use Dad’s connections to learn more? I honestly don’t know where a conversation with this guy will lead, but I bet you’ll know more about the field from having had it.
I gather you are female. You mentioned that your older sibs are brothers. Could this possibly have something to do with your being female? Does your dad work with female engineers? What is his attitude toward women in general? Does he think that women shouldn’t have careers? Does your mom have a career? I’m not sure yet how you would address this problem, if this is the case. But sometimes it helps to understand where they are coming from.
I can’t believe how your parents are behaving. This is just crazy. I think you need to bring in a third party to talk some sense into them. I know I’m not helping, but I’m honestly incredulous that they have put you in this position.
“I have terrible depression and social anxiety.”
Is the real issue here that they are concerned about your mental health and safety and the school they want you to attend is close to home/less demanding? Is this justified? If for example, you have been hospitalized in the past year for these problems or are on medication, that may be the real issue here. Possibly, they don’t want to come out and say, ‘we are worried about you and don’t think going into a large and/or academically demanding school is a good idea.’
If this is what’s really going on, they should be frank about their concerns. As for the validity, we aren’t in a position to judge. But accepting a school on your behalf without your permission is over-stepping their parental authority and a good therapist (if you have one) should be able to have this conversation with them. And if you indeed have ‘terrible depression and social anxiety’ and DON"T have a therapist, you should get one right now, before you leave home. Freshman year at college is not the place to wing it if you are fragile.
@NCengineer , sorry to hear this, it sucks. You can probably defer admission for a year to another college and still retain whatever offer you have. Call the college and ask. Then ask your parents if they will consider that option. If you defer for a year, that gives you breathing space and maybe time to convince your parents. Did any other colleges offer good merit awards? Take a year off to work, think about your choices, and ask them to please consider the differences between what you want to study and what they want you to study? I do find it odd that they are forcing you to study what you are not interested in. To be fair to them, you don’t know if perhaps there are some large expenses looming in the future, or maybe a job change coming. And in fact, your college experience is what you make of it.
On the surface, it seems they are being very draconian in forcing you to go, but I have to ask why you applied to AppaIchian in the first place if you don’t want to go there? Another option, put out an ap right now to a rolling admissions college, or some of the automatic full ride ones, if you like the sound of them better. Or reapply next year to a college likely to give you a full ride that you might like better.