Ok. No crying. There is no crying in a parental conversation or they win right from the start. Gather up everything thing you’ve got to avoid it. Practice if you have to.
Now bc mom/dad brought God into this, but therapists are not ok, what about your priest/pastor/rabbi/preacher? Talk to them about this. Perhaps they can help you sort it out and at least get through a conversation without the emotions.
And maybe he can talk sense to them, as in, God already helped them with income so they could help you…
I would love if my kid took a scholarship. He’s all but ruled those schools out tho, and I can’t really argue bc I can afford it and won’t do a 180 on him just bc he got scholarships!
Being in state for 2 such fine schools is God opening a door in and of itself! OOS kids would kill for the admissions advantage, let alone the IS tuition bargain!
So…
App state is free right? Take room& board X 28%, which I presume is your parent AMT taxes rate. It costs at least that. Plus a Masters tuition room and board, plus one year of income lost while getting a masters.
Let’s call room and board 10k, $2800 X 4 years=12k
Plus a masters: let’s say $30k
Plus one year’s salary lost while doing masters, let’s call it $60k
You are receiving great advice about the schools and finances. The NC schools also have wonderful counseling centers. You are not weak and there is no shame in someone who loves God seeking help to become all that God has meant for them to be.
well, Appy State has a BS in Fermentation Sciences. you could pretend to be all excited about studying that as long you have to go to a school that does not offer Biomed Engr. i can’t imagine they would be thrilled about that, so maybe they will change their tune.
Based on what you’ve said so far in this thread, I’m starting to suspect the issue may not be so much cost as it is they believe engineering is a man’s job, so they’re pushing you towards physics. Sounds like they’re very religious and traditional, and like you said, believe success for a woman is getting married and having a family. Maybe contact a Woman in Engineering group nearby and see if they have any tips? Wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve seen this before.
Perhaps pushing the envelop, but honestly wondering, do they know what kind of guy you’ll likely meet at App State? They’d be perfectly fine (or perfect) for 90% straight girls, but for conservative, religious parents, I have a feeling they might not.
Seriously: I second the idea of contacting WISE (women in science and engineering) both at UNC-CH and NCSU.
From @MYOS1634: “Please know that anxiety or depression doesn’t mean you’re weak. God has created knowledge, and therapists, and doctors, to help people. Learning is honoring God and doing good in this world honors God too.”
^^This. Just repeating it because it’s important and true. If it helps, I’m a pastor’s wife.
I was thinking the same thing. In addition to UNC-CH having your major, there are way more young men there—and those young men are attending the finest university in the state and, indeed, one of the finest in the country. Not that you are using this as a college selection criterion, but this argument may speak to your parents.
On top of this, wouldn’t the OP have to actually take engineering classes to be able to apply to a masters biomedical engineering program? Since they won’t have an engineering undergrad degree. So that is at least another year of four year college expense, as I assume all the needed courses wouldn’t be offered at a CC.
Now… I am not convinced that the parents even think the OP can or should be an engineer. So this argument may not hold any weight, because they may think that either the OP won’t follow through on the desire to be in this field, or won’t have the academic chops to do so.
@NCengineer are you, by any chance, south asian? If so, I guess your parents have the traditional south asian mentality regarding girls education which would make them see your education as less worthy. You might want to tackle the issue by taking in regard this and prepare your arguments.
Here’s what I suspect, based on what @NCengineer has revealed. The parents are conservative Christians who believe that the OP will just be biding her time at college until she meets a nice young man and gets married. She will work maybe a few years then have children and stay home. So why pay all that money for college?
OP, I really feel for you, especially since your parents are in the top 1% of income-earners. Someone upthread suggested that it might not be too late to apply to University of Alabama and get a full/significant scholarship, but you’d have to do it without delay. Or take a gap year and apply to Alabama next year.
The school mentioned previously was UA Birmingham (as opposed to the flagship in Tuscaloosa), which does have big automatic scholarships, although it is a dollar amount (tuition there is by credit).
Full rides may still be available for students with high enough stats at Prairie View A&M (3.5/26, no biomedical but does have mechancial engineering) and Florida A&M (3.5/29, has biomedical under chemical, also has mechanical, but scholarships are first come first served).
If the OP has the stats, perhaps she can apply. If the parents veto those full rides at schools that do have engineering, then she will know that it is not just about money.
Huh? Perhaps a misquote, but I highly doubt any college is going to require them to go into debt with that kind of income. (Not wanting to pay is different from going into debt!)
OP, I don’t have any new wisdom or suggestions to add, but I’m sorry you are going through this.
@intparent That’s why I suggested OP should try to talk to his parents. Find some way out of it but if OP really wants to go to Georgia Tech against his parents then there really isn’t any other choice.
