@nevets04 : She can’t go and transfer because she’d lose any chance at a sufficiently high merit scholarship. The big awards are only given to freshmen. Not transfers.
@Imwitheband : OP has not indicated that Boone is close where she lives.
(I don’t think there are many families whose income is in the 600-700k bracket around these parts in the mountain but I may be wrong!)
Op, can you clarify?
although NC State is the engineering school, if you want to study Biomedical Engineering, then you would actually want to go to UNC-Chapel Hill. that particular program is a joint program between UNC-CH and NCSU, but the actual meat of the program will take place at the UNC-CH campus, since NC State does not have a medical school.
you could explain that UNC-CH is much higher ranked national university that will carry far more clout that App State. it is probably the best value and best ROI in the country for any NC resident that gets accepted. you are far more likely to find a good job (or any job) with a degree from UNC than App State, and have better career opportunities too. the kicker would be that UNC would be less expensive in the long run because you would probably land a great job immediately after graduation, while going to App State means much, much more money for grad school later – far more money than you would pay for a BS in BiomedEngr from UNC-CH.
Boone is about 2 hours drive from Charlotte.
if parents want you close to home, UNC-Charlotte has dual majors in Physics plus computer engr, electrical engr, and mechanical engr. living at home would save a ton in room, board, and meals.
my apologies. As a midwesterner, my geography is abysmal. My point however, is that the combination of depression, anxiety, faith and the OP’s well-being may be driving the parent’s action and communication using therapist or pastor would be extrememly helpful to the OP and her parents. More importantly, it would be helpful in negotiating a solution acceptable to everyone. It really sounds as if there is something other than money driving the parents’ behavior.
@mikemac Lord no, I would never say something like that to their faces. I can barely get a word in before I start crying. I see your point though, perhaps how I am thinking about this could be reflected in my behavior and expressions?
@MYOS1634 I feel like it’s not the limitation of money, but simply their attitude about getting a “better deal” It’s understandable, paying for college is a strain even on an upper middle class family. I feel like they just feel more comfortable doing it this way. I also have not mentioned that they have about $50k in savings for me??? With Georgia tech they argued “we will not go $150k in debt” (since GT is 50k a year) but I feel like that’s a decent chunk of in-state tuition? This is where it gets confusing for me. Graduate school won’t be cheap, so I get they want to save the money to be used for that. But by then, won’t have I have many career opportunities and way to pay off debt from undergrad?
@Wien2NC When I called UNC admissions and asked about the joint program, they told me it was only for graduate students! Are they right, or do they simply just not know what’s up?
offer to pay your parents back gradually after you get a job, if they will pay now for you to go to UNC-Chapel Hill.
hey, desperate times, desperate measures
@Wien2NC How do you suggest I deal with the passive-aggressiveness? When I approach an idea like that with them, it’s always a loooonng sigh and then shaking their heads telling me I’m “losing a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity” and basically guilt tripping me into aquiescing with them.
You could write an email or letter to them
If you can’t talk about it, giving some of the arguments discussed here. $50K would cover 2 years at UNC-CH. If you take out your federal loans (in your name, for you to pay back) that would cover another year (spread out over the four years is how you take them, though). Leaving $25K not covered. You could work summers and part time during the school year to cover some of that, too. And maybe your parents could be convinced to make up the last $15K or so. Remember that costs go up a little every year, that is included in my logic on the calculation here.
I’d give up on GA Tech due to expense. (Tell them that you agree it is too expensive, it validates part of what they are saying). I do think you all should have had this conversation before apps went in. They shouldn’t have made you apply to a school that didn’t have your preferred major.
here is the link for undergraduate admissions at UNC:
http://admissions.unc.edu/explore/academics/majors-minors-and-concentrations/
Biomedical Engineering is listed as an undergraduate major under Mathematics, Computing, and Engineering
here is a link for Biomedical Eng at UNC:
https://www.bme.unc.edu/index.php/undergraduate/prospective-students/unc-prospective/about-bme-unc
the pull-down menus at the top have tabs for both Undergraduate and Graduate
the undergrad tab links to admissions for both UNC and NC State. here is the UNC-CH Biomedical Engr curriculum:
i don’t know why they would tell you what they did, since the curriculum at this last link says:
Undergraduate Biomedical Engineering Curriculum
University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
I know a kid that was going to do Biomedical Engr at NC State, but went to UNC-CH instead for the reasons I stated.
I do admit that the information on the website about the Biomed Engr program is pretty confusing. I am not a fan at all of UNC’s website.
I would call the UNC Office of Undergraduate Admissions at 919-966-3621 and say you would like to pursue a Bachelor’s Degree in Biomedical Engineering at UNC Chapel Hill. They should be able to give you the info you need.
@NCengineer Consider applying to this program or another like it: http://www.hartford.edu/enhp/academics/rehabilitation-sciences/prosthetics-orthotics-bsmspo/ I am pretty sure with your stats you’d get a lot of merit aid. U. Hartford is not better than ASU, however, this one major is an excellent program and you will be employable as soon as you’re done.
“Graduate school won’t be cheap, so I get they want to save the money to be used for that.”
but if you get a BS in Biomed Engr and get a good job, you won’t have to go to graduate school. you can always decide to do so later. going to ASU would FORCE you to go to grad school if you wanted to be an engineer
@intparent More than anything, if this does pan out and I can attend NC state or UNC, I just want to feel okay about myself. I know they will bother me for the rest of my life about this decision. Hell, I could be making a mistake going into engineering rather than physics. But this is just what I want to do… I really want to speak to a therapist about this. Regardless of what decision I make, I’ll still regret it somehow. I need to work on not having that weigh on me.
However, my parents don’t believe in therapy. I saw a therapist for a short bit, when I was self-harming and attempted suicide a few years ago. The therapist insisted I get on medication and professional help (a psychiatrist) for anxiety and depression, but my parents refused. They ended up not allowing me to go to the therapist anymore, and pushed religion onto me. They told me God could fix me. I started to even resent God when I couldn’t be happy. They told me depression isn’t real, and I’m just weak. I eventually just learned to hide all my feelings and push them deep deep down. Any time after that I asked to see a therapist, they would say if I needed to see a therapist, then I wasn’t ready for college. I was afraid they would take college away from me, so I stopped asking.
I have worked my ass off obviously. I am extremely Type-A, meticulous, and driven. I want to get a good education. That’s the main goal of all of this. But before I go, I need to get all my feelings sorted out. This actually is making me feel so emotional and helpless to type, because this has been my struggle for so long. My parents have never supported me getting a good education, or getting mental help. They view success, for a girl, as having friends and getting married. They are steadfast in their views and that is what is bringing me down so terribly.
i wish you would have applied to East Carolina U. you would have gotten into the Honors College, gotten free tuition, and been able to study Biomedical Engineering. plus you could have hung out with my daughter.
Since they’re thrifty, your parents must understand “value”. What is cheapest is not always the best value. A free car that breaks down in the middle of the road while you’re going to work, or in the middle of the night in the countryside, is not better (understatement) than a $4,000 car that takes you where you need to go and works well (even if it’s not fancy - fancy would be Duke, Davidson, etc). A free education that doesn’t lead to what you want to do and will require at least one year without financial aid* making up required classes PLUS 2 years full pay for a Master’s degree, not to mention the loss of 3 years’ worth of pay, is NOT a good value, especially not when you could have 4 years on financial aid at UNC-Ch or NCSU, then start working right away.
Add: 4 years of UNC-CH
subtract: 3 years at average pay for a Biomed graduate
= TOTAL COSTS if you attend UNC-CH
… Then…
Add:
4 years at App State + 1 year full-pay undergraduate at NCSU for pre-reqs + 2 years Masters degree at UNC-CH
= Minimal total costs if you attend App State
Then, add the loss of 3 years at average pay for a Biomed graduate to the total costs (adding opportunity costs…)
I doubt App State will still seem the great value it first seemed.
(And, no, you can’t improvise yourself a biomed engineer with a physics degree. While someone may hire physicists in their company doesn’t mean they’re employed as engineers and doesn’t mean they’re paid as engineers. BTW, email your parents’ friend.
State the situation with as little emotion as possible:
My goal is to work in biomedical engineering and be an engineer working on…Z… I won a scholarship to Appalachian State, but App doesn’t have engineering, only physics. Since you hire physicists, I know you have good experience with this: do you hire physicists for engineering jobs? What about biomedical engineering positions? Are physicists paid the same as engineers and do they have the same responsibilities and career path? My other choices are NCSU and UNC-CH, both for biomedical engineering, but they’re more expensive and beside my college fund I’ll have to take on some federal loans for about 5.5K my first year. I am considering perhaps doing the BA in Physics at Appalachian State, then make up the pre-requisites for biomed engineering and getting a Master’s degree in Biomedical Engineering. However I hesitate because it’d mean 7 years of studies. Would you consider this a good plan? My other plan is to do the 4-year degree in biomed engineering right away, then work, and only complete a master’s once I’ve worked and paid back my loans. Is either plan better in your opinion and why? I’m having trouble explaining the ins and outs to my parents, so if you were willing to come over for dinner, I’d bake you a pizza myself, as well as cookies! This is a stressful time for all of us and I appreciate your opinion. Thank you.
Some parents do feel that their daugher needs to get married. Going to college and studying engineering/science doesn’t mean you won’t get married. But you’ll get to define success in your own terms. 60 years ago girls had to choose between being serious about a career or their studies, or having a family. It was back in your grandparents’ days, or perhaps greatgrandparents. So, regardless of where you go, you’ll have a successful life, on your own terms.
(On the plus side, your odds of meeting an eligible young man from the best families in the state are higher at UNC-CH than at Appalachian State. Just curious- have they visited? If they visit, they may change their tune. Just sayin’…)
Please know that anxiety or depression doesn’t mean you’re weak. God has created knowledge, and therapists, and doctors, to help people. Learning is honoring God and doing good in this world honors God too.
@MYOS1634 I will definitely email him! Great idea. All great advice. Also, unfortunately, no scholarships from UNC-CH. I’m not sure about NC state yet, but I didn’t get any of their major ones (Park, Goodnight), would they notify later of smaller ones…?
I still think your best bet is one of the NC schools that have admitted you and have Engineering as a major. I have not been able to find Post Graduation Reports for any school other than VA Tech. You can use this one to show that 2015 grads from VA Tech in Physics have fewer than 12 responding grads with jobs v. grads in Engineering report salaries from $58k to $72k. Print it. Show them. I’m betting most Physics majors have to attend grad school. You can search this site and find stats for other years:
I noticed recently that saying those magical words “full tuition” makes something “click” in people’s minds. My D had gotten several scholarship offers from LACs that were in the neighborhood of 18K to 20K, and that didn’t seem to make people blink. But when one LAC added another scholarship on top to cover full tuition, I was astonished at how saying the words “full tuition” was like a hallucinogenic drug making this school the be-all end-all!!! People who were telling me previously “oh no, don’t send your daughter to ‘X’ college–they don’t have very many full time faculty in the department and it’s very isolated!” suddenly changed their tune and said “You. Must.Take.This. Offer.” I think there’s some of this phenomenon going on with your parents.
Yes, Full tuition is amazing and very tempting. However, it makes little sense to go to a school that gives you full tuition but does not have a program that will further your career goals.
“Sure, I’ll give you this $1400 elliptical trainer for free–but there’s one catch–it doesn’t work and can’t be repaired!!” Would your parents think that’s a good deal?
You can get very good merit scholarships at other schools that will help make the cost manageable–and you will be actually be getting what you pay for!
Email your admissions rep and ask whether small scholarships are still to be awarded (type “NCSU Admissions staff” and “UNC-CH Admissions Staff”) then scroll down the list for the person in charge of your county. 
Explain that UNC-CH is your first choice/NCSU is among your top choices, but you got a full ride at another public university in the state, and are thus wondering if the decisions have been made at UNC-CH (/NCSU) regarding scholarships or small awards.