<p>UPDATE FOR ALL THOSE THAT CARE AND HAVE SO KINDLY RESPONDED TO MY POST:</p>
<p>Today may have been the start of something big, but I am reluctant to say so too fast…I literally went and took the games, cracked the games, and uninstalled everything including saved games from his comp. I told him very calmly that this is it, I have stood by too long to watch this continue. Amazingly, he was calm and said yea I think I want to quit anyway. BELIEVE ME I am no dummy to think there will be no future episodes with this game, it may draw him back but the fact that he was willing to even allow me to do this without freaking out is a positive sign, perhaps on his own terms he is realizing that he is slowly falling through the ever widening cracks and maybe he is feeling its time to get himself together. So far things are pretty calm here, I am really really crossing my fingers, it just cant’ be this easy. Thanks for your support, I will certainly keep you posted and hope and pray that the nightmare that invaded our lives four months ago is on its way out and for good…will continue to update. Thank you ALL for helping me feel better, empowered and finally having the courage to do what it takes to stop this once and for all.</p>
<p>He said he thinks he wants to quit - that is wonderful. Your son is obviously very bright to recognize that the game invaded too much of his life. And KUDOS to you for quickly taking steps to help your son.</p>
<p>my D had a myspace, it was addicting for her, my other looks at facebook pictures things…same thing</p>
<p>Oldest deleted her myspace, and for my younger, I set limits…no facebook during week (10 minutes to check or send messages- yes stupid homework stuff is sometimes there, or coordination of plans)- but NO pictures, during the week, SUnday through Thursday…</p>
<p>and now, she barely looks at the pictures now, (excepts after a dance or big event) anymore</p>
<p>she saw herself what a waste of time it was, but needed me to say NO MORE…</p>
<p>Good for you, ctmom! I agrree it won’t be all smooth going, but you are to be commended for taking up the battle and taking a stand. And you’ve obviously raised ctson right, that he gets there’s a problem, even if there still are setbacks in the future. My S has known some kids whose flunkouts from their colleges were definitely fueled at least in part by WoW. You are right to take it so seriously.</p>
<p>What a HUGE positive step, ctmom. You are wise not to think it will all be easy going.</p>
<p>On the other hand, allow yourself to feel wonderful about what you accomplished as a first step (even if there might be one step forward-one step back as you go along). As others said above, it is a sign of his character and how you raised him that he took it this well. Even if he suffers and fights back later.</p>
<p>wow! Awesome!!! I agree that is a sure sign that deep down he knows he was in trouble and is actually relieved that you are taking charge. </p>
<p>I also agree that, as with any addiction, there will likely be some testing and possibly even backsliding. This is common and part of the process. Drugs do not give up easily. They are very seductive and like to whisper in the ear sweet nothings like “Oh, you’re not addicted anymore, so now you can do it again but keep in moderation. A little moderation never hurt anyone, did it? Sure, THIS TIME you will do it right…just a little…”</p>
<p>Trust me, that is the common addictive pattern. If he manages to never look back, then he is an extraordinary person! But if he does, whether it’s next week or next month, calmly ask you if he can play again “just an hour or so a couple of times a week” be sure to recognize it for what it is and stay firm.</p>
<p>It’s like the alcoholics who take one drink and they’re back…</p>
<p>I agree that it’s a great idea to write down some sort of agreement and have him sign it, as a reminder once the drug starts that whispering…</p>
<p>This is NOT to say that everyone who plays (drinks, smokes, whatever) in moderation is addicted! Many people can partake of drugs in moderation and never be addicted…but if someone IS addicted, it is an entirely different matter and, unfortunately, there is usually no option to indulge “in moderation.”</p>
<p>I was talking about this thread to a friend of mine who has a 15-year-old son who plays WOW, as do most of his friends. She saw the addiction growing and put strict time limits in place. If he goes over, she gives a five-minute warning and then just throws the circuit breaker on the electricity and it’s lights out for him. And he loses the next day’s playtime. She’s not happy about his interest in the game, but she’s willing to allow it with limits, for now. (But he does still participate in varsity soccer, does homework and chores, and occasionally does something social that does not involve WOW.)</p>
<p>Watch out, though, there’s more than one of these mass player on-line games — StarCraft is another one — that can be addicting. WOW is supposed to be the worst, though.</p>
<p>ctmom, I am so happy for you and your son! This is very good news. I think that he recognized the resolve in your voice and manner (that our wonderful CC posters helped to develop) and responded to it. I’m willing to be that it was a relief to have someone take over.</p>
<p>You might consider urging him to quickly get involved in a productive activity - sports? community service? to fill the gap, and maybe serve the need that the gaming was fulfilling.</p>
<p>I think you should take him out to dinner and celebrate! or buy him a cd, or something, to show how proud you are of him. It was not easy for him to be willing to give it up!</p>
<p>Fantastic news, ctmomof3! I think you really need to keep the mood positive, and focus on working together. I like Lealdragon’s idea of going out to dinner together, just the two of you, and really focus on finding fun, alternative activities. Anything active or outside would be particularly good. I think that this is going to turn out well for you guys. Congratulations!</p>
<p>I am not a parent, but I am in a relationship where Warcraft is the center. It’s riduclous. I’m so upset that my boyfriend seems to think that this habit is a good thing, or something that can be seen as a hobby. I have to drag him off of the computer, and I just don’t know what to do. Help please.</p>
<p>That’s pretty cool that he’s able to quit cold turkey like that. I, too, have lost many friends to WoW, and I know what their parents have done to curb the addiction. One friend’s mom uninstalled everything, took the game, and told him she wasn’t going to pay for it. He eventually split the cost of an account with another friend, and needless to say he still plays. I think they should make some type of conclusion for the WoW games, but that’s just me and I know the majority of my friends would kill me for saying that. World of WarCrack. How sad and how true.</p>
<p>You didn’t mention how serious the relationship is, but you might consider being in a relationship with a drug addict is the same as being in a relationship with an alcoholic. Think about what the future might be like. Addictive personalities don’t usually change very easily.</p>
<p>Noel, I don’t know how serious his problem with WoW is or how serious your relationship is, but my instincts are saying a simple ultimatum may be in order: “Game or me?” Any guy who has to think about that question is not worth your time. Hopefully, the question will push him to realize how absurd his attraction to that game is, and he will be able to recognize his problem and begin to move on, with your help.</p>
<p>I’m not a big fan of the “remove the game by force” approach, except as a last resort. I prefer to talk with our sons about what a reasonable balance is between game time and other pursuits. We generally found that an increase in online game playing coincided with a decrease in hours spent watching TV. On the occasions when the game began to encroach on their school work, we would set specific times when gaming was allowed. We were lucky; they would generally get bored with a game before it became a problem.</p>
<p>Apart from the issue of addictive behavior, I’m always curious when people refer to video games as a “waste of time”. Couldn’t most recreational activities be considered a waste of time? Watching football games on TV? Watching a movie or music videos? Playing golf? I’m not sure the specific activity is as important as the need to strike a balance between recreational activities and productive activities.</p>
<p>Silverweed while I respect that everyone has their own unique way of dealing with certain situations, as far as my own, it was way beyond that point. Been there, done that.
Had it worked, we would have kept up, he had countless chances to talk it out and deal with making a “mutual agreed schedule” but those didn’t work EVER so this was how I had to approach it, it might be my imagination but he actually looked better last night, I even asked him what he did, he looked happy and cheery, I can’t explain it perhaps it was a relief for him as well.</p>
<p>To all of you AGAIN, thanks a million for your kind and gentle words of support, believe me you really helped me more than you know to see the light and to take action immediately. Sometimes we need to hear it from others to take that first step. I am a realist and I am not too quick to say its all over, and that is that but at the very least, we are both finally on the same page and this decision is non negotiable. I think taking him out to dinner is a fantastic idea and I will make the suggestion. In addition I gave him some $$ and we went to Abercrombie to buy a few shirts, and I detected a little more bounce in his step when he got back, crossing my fingers that the son I knew four months ago is back!!:)</p>
<p>Ctmom, I’m not disagreeing with the steps you took, as I think you exhausted your other options before you went there. I’ve seen other instances in which the approach backfired and made the problem worse. I’m glad it worked out for you and your son. It’s probably a good thing that this happened while he was still under your roof, where you could address it, rather than after he had gone off to college. Now he’s less likely to go down that road later.</p>
<p>I can’t believe it, its been almost three days now and he is warcraft free so far!! I feel like celebrating, I gave him money to buy some new clothes, and shoes, where ordinarily I would have said I will buy them for Christmas, I am so happy that it was my pleasure to do what it took to help him feel good about himself and to show him how happy i am for him and for our entire family. I feel like I have to pinch myself, that this is actually happening, the best Christmas present I could ask for, for sure. I will keep you posted…</p>