hi. I love UVA.
But I’m extremely depressed and lonely. I have made only 2 friends, i got rejected from Greek life, and honestly feel completely alone. Both friends are busy with greek life now, and while I’ve tried reaching out, it’s SO difficult as it’s second semester, and people have already made their friend groups. People have told me “a trio is a trio, sorry” or “sorry, i already my group,”
I love this school, but I can’t stay if it means 3 more years of feeling alone. I had the courage to reach out to a dean and discuss, but the dean was completely unresponsive and made me feel worse and invalidated. As an OOS student, I can’t pay so much to feel depressed and un-helped.
Who is “another” good dean to talk with? i love this school and don’t want to leave, I just want to fix the issue.
Thanks.
I’m sorry you weren’t able to get assistance on your first try.
The key is to find a group that you can relate to. Some first years try out for very competitive groups and get frustrated when they are not accepted as a first year. For example, in his first semester, my son didn’t get accepted by the Jeff Society, a club sport, and the first acapello group he tried out for. He was frustrated that he had been on his high school’s competitive singing group and had been a varsity high school player in that sport, but couldn’t get into those groups. I’ve heard similar stories where first years try out for University Guides and similar competitive organizations and get frustrated.
However, then he found a less competitive club sport and a less competitive acapello group, and had a great time with them. Also, you might look for clubs, activities or events related to your intended major.
My son was OOS and didn’t know anyone when he arrived, and a number of his hallmates were unsociable international engineering students.
Once my son was accepted into a major and had much smaller class sizes, he enjoyed the classes much more and got to know fellow students better than in the first year 600 person chemistry class.
Also, keep in mind that some fraternities have fall rush for 2nd years. Some of the fraternities that are less competitive for entry and that are more laid back are not on prominent locations along Rugby Road. (If you female, I believe there are also some laid back sororities).
Cville is also a good place to check out different places of worship. There is a full variety within walking distance of the first year dorms. Many churches and places of worship are frustrated that they are not attracting more undergrad students and really offer a welcoming and supportive environment, as well as many activities. It also may be a good way to get to know professors and staff.
I know this is totally obvious, but reach out to your RA. They are there to help you. Hang in there!!
I agree with the others. Reach out to your RA. Find less competitive organizations and clubs to join. Volunteer in the community for something you believe in. You will find others with similar interests. As hard as this sounds, go up to people in the dining hall and introduce yourself. My older daughter did this multiple times for a psychology assignment, and found that it wasn’t as difficult as she thought, and she made some new friends. Ask in class if there are study groups. Go to them, even if you don’t need them. Go to interest meetings, concerts, events, etc. and strike up a conversation with people. Things will get better:).
I don’t think a dean is a good place to start. They can’t make friends for you. Your RA is a good starting point. Keep busy at activities where you can meet people. I just moved to a new city where I don’t know a soul, and have been making myself get out to meet people. I have joined an exercise class, met some people through church, have signed up for a regular volunteer activity, and attended some meetings of a club I am interested in. I will meet people through work when I find a job. I have a rule to pretty much not turn down any activity I am invited to or that I see that looks interesting. I am kind of an introvert, but have made a couple of friends to do things with, and met a few more people I would like to talk with more at our next activity. Make yourself let busy, and choose activities where there are people (job, volunteering, etc).
Ditto some of the above. Reach out to your RA because they might have good suggestions and because someone needs to know how you are feeling. You might even check out the counseling center just to connect. Seek out clubs or just activities/events. If there arent open sports clubs, then try community service project or volunteering to be a sports team manager (I did that at the U-got to hang around some cool, good looking guys 
). Whatever you do, get up and out. There are so so many activities posted on bulletin boards everywhere. Start attending until something hits you and them as a good match.
Excellent advice from our students, of course. The suggestion to chat with your RA is a great one. Friend groups evolve for most college students. Yes, even during the second semester.
The first few weeks after people get involved with their Greek orgs, there are lots of activities for new members. Your friends are still your friends. 
Are you getting out and going to events? [url=<a href=“https://atuva.student.virginia.edu/organizations%5DThere”>https://atuva.student.virginia.edu/organizations]There are over 900 organizations at UVA/url and the calendar is full of meetings and events. Sometimes people fixate on the most visible organizations or the ones that have try-outs and decide all of them are like that, but that isn’t the case!
@Dean J I was hoping that you would weigh in.