<p>Oh he has the regular license. It is raining lightly, but he called me over 2 hours ago, to tell me that they got there just fine, and are now tearing up the town. On the way back home, hopefully the traffic at least will be thinned out. I am not going to worry. But I will stay up until he walks in the door.</p>
<p>I have to ask folks, will you leet these kids you won’t let drive 100 miles go away to college in the fall?</p>
<p>My oldest son ran with the bulls in Pamplona when he was 17. Now THAT was scary.</p>
<p>chocholic; we’re all going to be worried until they get home so be sure and let us know, ok?</p>
<p>WPson-
My testing assistant just told me the other day that he ran with the bulls his freshman yr of college— hmmm… small world.</p>
<p>Just wondering how the trip went. As for my memoried of my time in Poughkeepsie-- unless they wanted to stay in a small b&B, they were better off just driving back home, assuming its not too late. Thats a short drive.</p>
<p>Welllllll…they all bought shirts and are now trying to get them autographed, yeah right, so couple hours more.</p>
<p>WPSON that is just totally amazing that your son did Pamplona. Now that is scary. Like giving a truckdriver the finger and then stepping on the gas on a country road.</p>
<p>They got home at 1:20 a.m. Totally flushed with happiness. T-shirts signed across the shoulder. Good times. :)</p>
<p>you won (…)
S owes you breakfast in bed this coming weekend</p>
<p>I’m glad you posted back - so I can quit worrying now.</p>
<p>chocoholic, I’m happy to hear that they had a great time and that the trip went well. I didn’t really have any doubt that it would! It does kind of amaze me that there are parents who wouldn’t allow this type of trip for kids who are 18 and will be going off to college in a few months. My kids travelled the world, alone, with each other, and with small groups of friends, from the time they were 14. Two of them drove 45 minutes each way, through a city!, to school every day from the time they got their license. A little trip to Poughkeepsie from Jersey would be a snap! :)</p>
<p>Great news, and isn’t it great when the trust you offer your emerging young adults is honored? Everyone is rewarded, you with reassurance that your offspring are able to handle at least some adult responsibilities maturely (including reassuring people who might be worrying about things), and them with knowing they can both handle a potentially dicey situation and keep everyone reassured while still having a great time (AND perhaps next time they won’t wait until the last minute to plan transportation! 
). I hope the other guys’ parents are a little less worried now, and will give their guys more credit and freedom next time. Well done! (And I’ll bet the concert was fab.)</p>
<p>I just found out that the boy whose parents took his car keys with them on a trip, had actually instructed him not to go, like even as a passenger, since they were going to be away. Hah!! So much for banning an 18-year-old.</p>
<p>I hope they are not dumb enough to call me when they find out he went. </p>
<p>It’s funny, but when they all showed up here yesterday afternoon, 2 boys told me that their parents were not happy that they were going. The 3rd boy did not come into the house! haha.</p>
<p>Funny what kids will try to get away from thinking they won’t get caught. If they only realized that we did the same (and much much worse) when we were teenagers, and that we have sources for information they never dreamed imaginable, and that we can read them like books, perhaps they’d quite trying. But then catching them is half the fun, isn’t it.</p>
<p>I’d guess that the boy who was forbidden to go might not have gone if his parents had actually trusted him. His parents apparently turned this into an “I’ll show them - I’ll go anyway!” situation.</p>
<p>Why would the parents be dumb to call you? Their son is not trustworthy and either lied to your son or he was involved in the deception. In that parents place I would want to make sure that you knew the situation and these kids didn’t think they were jointly pulling one over on parents. I would not blame you or your son in the least, but I’d want to make sure you know and let you know my son was grounded forever.</p>
<p>Really? So their son was banned from going, and went anyway, without me or my son knowing until after the fact; I am not calling those parents to tell them; and I don’t expect them to call me to let me know if they do find out. Nothing happened. He broke their trust or whatever the agreement was between them. It’s between him and them. It’s up to him to tell them or not. Maybe they will never find out.</p>
<p>This is not some elaborate scheme. I don’t expect the parents of an 18-year-old to tell his friends parents that he broke a rule and is grounded. I would not do it.</p>
<p>IMO, it takes a villiage and keeping in touch with friend’s parents is important. I think, based on experience with 4, often kids know when their friends are lying to their parents and it’s difficult for them to handle.</p>
<p>When they know parents are in touch with each other and watching out for everyone’s interests they may be less likely to believe they can get away with breaking rules. </p>
<p>I’m also uncomfortable with my children being friends with kids who are not trustworthy. I’ve seen all of my kids be dissapointed by a friend’s behavior at one point or another and have watched for that friend to be dropped. They always were. The latest incident was with my 16 year old who went to a European classmates home there for spring break and found that her friend’s life at home was centered on lying to her parents. I spoke with the parents of the other 2 visitors and we all composed an email to the parents…</p>
<p>chocoholic:</p>
<p>I don’t think it was reasonable for the parents to ban their son from going. But I think you may be a weeeee bit credulous if you believe your son didn’t know the other boy had been forbidden to go. That’s the kind of thing kids tend to discuss with each other before they think things through.</p>
<p>Which does raise an interesting set of questions: Is it OK for your son to help a friend get around his parents? Is it OK for your son not to tell you he has done that? Could the other parents think less of him for that? Think less of you? Do you care?</p>
<p>I’m not sure where I come out on them. In general, I don’t feel a need to accept responsibility to police other parents’ rules, unless they ask me directly. But I don’t like to be implicated in undermining other parents, either, and I don’t want my kids to do that.</p>
<p>Sure, it takes a village. And most parents where we live are quite involved in and aware of their kids lives. But, these “kids” are now 18 years old. </p>
<p>Actually this is the last kid I would call untrustworthy. He is actually a very good boy, always made good choices, been a leader in many great ways, and is involved in lots of community service. Stellar student too. And I am really glad he is my son’s friend. All my kids (3) have had really great people for friends, who love being in our home, and from whom they have learned much.</p>
<p>I am not defending what he did. His parents knew that he had bought a ticket to this show with his own money. Until a few days before, as far as I know, they had no problem with his going.</p>
<p>If there was a situation that warranted my getting in touch with them, I would. And vice versa.</p>
<p>JHS,</p>
<p>You have come to a lot of conclusions without knowing enough. That happens more easily on these chat boards (I am guilty too).</p>
<p>This boy was not a part of the original group. One person had to drop out as he was going away with family. He sold his ticket to this boy, who is also in the friend-circle. Why would anyone ask this boy if his parents knew that he was going? 18-year-olds just don’t do that. In fact, all he said until the day of the concert, to the other 3 boys, was that they took his keys so that he would not do the driving to the concert. He is a fairly reserved kid, and in general does not talk about his parents.</p>
<p>No-one helped him get around his parents. At 1:00 p.m. he asked another kid for a ride to our house.
I don’t get where any of that comes from. No-one helped anyone do anything!!! And no-one was implicated in undermining other parents!!!</p>
<p>Own yor post choc. You said the mother would be dumb if she called you.</p>
<p>You can’t have it both ways, a person can’t openly lie to parents and be considered trustworthy. In my parent’s house I better not break the rules if I’m staying there even though I’m over 18. I respect that. These parents must have a reason for not trusting this kid and I’d have to say they are right. Take a harder look at your kid’s friends.</p>
<p>As for your last post–why did the one boy not come into the house? Didn’t you think it was odd?</p>