I was at a rock climbing event. An African American was getting ready to be roped up. Someone said loudly that African Americans don’t need a rope since they climb up like monkeys. If you were there, what would you say if anything?
In a similar circumstance, I turned to the person and said, Hey, that is not cool. You need to apologize.
Said person did not apologize but did leave.
Escalation is typically undesirable in these situations. I would have gone up to the African-American man and engaged him in conversation, probably about rock climbing. This can help show people that they are not alone and that you are on their side, without increasing the potential for violence from the racist. If this was in a private business, it can also be good to have a word with management about asking the racist to leave.
Agreed - simply tell them it’s not cool. No sense in spending the energy on someone who probably wouldn’t be intelligent enough to appreciate your retort. I bet they didn’t use the term “African American” but something else too.
The person didn’t look unintelligent. She looked actually quite refined.
I’m afraid words would fly out of my mouth before I could stop them. Wow.
Yes, racism should be called out when it is seen/heard. That person knew exactly what he/she was doing. It would have been refreshing had others loudly & embarrassingly corrected him/her. I doubt the person would feel comfortable to make such statements, at least in public, again. A similar situation happened to me while in a college class. No one said a word to the offender, not even the professor. Imagine how that made me, the only African American in the class feel. Silence helps and encourages the tormentor. It does the opposite for the person being tormented.
Different scenario, but I get this in high school every now and then. My comeback is always to look at the speaker and say something to the effect of:
“Seriously, you said that? Where did we go wrong in your education? You are aware that we all share the same DNA, right? 'Cause I’m sensing a gap somewhere that needs to be fixed.”
This will have the rest of the class listening in and quite honestly, my job is done. I’ve never had a repeat offender.
Chances are I’d do the same in the situation with the OP, but not being there, I’m not quite sure… I doubt I’d say nothing, but I’d have to see what my mind came up with to tailor it to an adult vs a high school student.
I know I’ve experienced some “immigrant” discussions with adults and I have no problem showing reality vs perception and have never been in the same conversation twice with the same folks. They either learn to shut up around me or I’ve actually planted a seed that might be growing.
My sarcastic side came up with this: look that person in the eye and say , “You must make your mother so proud.”
But maybe not everyone would understand the deep sarcasm.
I find that “Wow…that’s so incredibly racist” works to shut them up and let everyone else in the crowd think about it. I think snappy comebacks aren’t important–what’s important is saying something.
Wow, that’s not cool, even if you were trying to be funny.
It sort of depends on what you hope to do with the comeback. Do you want to support the person who’s the target, or do you want to slam the bigot making the comment? It would be great to do both, but I’m on the side of support. That’s why “what an incredibly racist thing to say” is perfect.
@scout59 I would argue that a loud comeback does three things: supports the victim, corrects the tormentor. And empowers others to do the right thing if on the fence about whether to say/do anything. The person who said this, looked at the spectator demographics and felt safe to spout a racist comment. Why did the spectator feel safe? And does that spectator still feel safe after the incident? Probably, if no one said anything to him or her.
Folks, please speak up in these situations and call the person out for their racism. We need to be clear this isn’t acceptable in our society and if you say things like this you will be called out and embarrassed. In a vacuum, with no response from anyone, racism just grows like the worst cancer.
I have been known to put bigoted or rude people in their place with “Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” But of course, tone is everything. I have adopted the sweet, slightly inquisitive, yet stern tone I remember being both simple and effective for a widowed woman who would walk her dog on our street, and I get a sense of satisfaction remembering her every time I have “borrowed” it.
What did you say @Iglooo?
I might have said “Why would you say that?” to make them explain and put them on the hot seat.
My response would probably get me banned from this site.
I witnessed something like that. I told the person in a very nice voice, that what she said wasn’t appropriate. I then told the African American woman she had directed the comment to that I was sorry she had to put up with stuff like that. The offender then screamed at me and said I should be supporting other white women. So speaking up obviously had no effect on her, but I would do the same again
Maybe not at that moment @wisteria100 But, I’d bet the offender will think twice before making such statements again. Another added bonus is that the offender may stop assuming that other Whites just automatically share and/or support racist views. We want racists to feel uncomfortable no matter who they are around. So I think you did that even with a nice voice.