I don’t think you can easily cure individuals of their Ivy-obsession if their communities are obsessed. It’s really tough for some people to see the expression on their friends’ or family members’ faces when they hear that one/one’s allegedly bright child is attending an “unimpressive school.” My older kids went to top schools because they could and those were the places that offered the experience they wanted. My youngest is excellent in her own way, but not as strong of a student. She will be attending a good LAC that, hopefully, is just right for her needs. (If it matters for context, she turned down athletic recruitment from two higher ranked colleges because their environment didn’t feel appropriate for D.)
So, while WE are satisfied with her college decision, that doesn’t mean it’s easy to endure the “blah” or dismayed response we get when we say what college she’s attending. If you live in a community that knows one college from the next, I can understand why you’d want to spare your children and yourself those reactions if you can. They don’t endure a life time, but they do last about 5 years per kid. That can feel very long. College admissions is a public outside assessment of a student’s achievement that, while flawed, is still harder to game than results in the local sphere. Locally, mom being PTA President, dad being head of the town’s soccer club, or the child being physically attractive etc. can garner some undeserved favor for kids. People instinctively know that, so college can take on some meaning it shouldn’t, e.g. as a measuring stick of successful parenting and of the child’s accomplishments over 18 years. That’s why people care. It feels to them like a report card that everyone sees. You can tell them they shouldn’t care what others think all you want to, but your admonition won’t change the social reality of the world they live in every day.