<p>Geniunely not caring what you look like or being oblivious to how you are perceived by others- could be a sign of acute depression- or a sign that you are extremely preoccupied ( or on the autistic spectrum). I wouldn’t take it to mean whether someone has good manners or not.</p>
<p>My definition of manners would be a mode of behavior that makes life easier for * someone* else. As long as it doesn’t cause difficulties for yourself which could then be construed as a ploy for attention. That doesn’t usually impact how someone dresses.</p>
<p>Now if someone wore a obviously inappropriate piece of clothing- like one of those prom gowns with the belly cut out for pregnant women to a wedding. That would be rude, because it would make life more difficult* for others*, because the other wedding guests would have the chore of dealing with something outside the norm.</p>
<p>Opening the door for someone makes life easier for them- RSVPing to invitations, easier, wearing jeans to church- would depend on the church.</p>
<p>I don’t normally wear " business type clothes", my closet contains jeans & cocktail dresses.
When I went to church, I often did wear jeans, but they were clean and pressed & as the denominations where I belonged felt that who someone was- what sort of work they did in the community, did they participate with an attitude of compassion and willingness to work, was the important part, not if they wore hose and gloves to services.</p>
<p>When you visit another country, it is polite to be familiar with the customs and manners of the country. Certain gestures may be considered rude- certain clothing may cause consternation. Americans are often regarded as rude when they travel, because they may not care to investigate the protocol for behavior.</p>
<p>At home, Americans can be considered rude, if they assume that behavior that goes in their neighborhood is the common baseline across the country.</p>
<p>For example, I have noticed a certain group in my town, stand very close together when they speak very loudly. This was startling to me, who comes from a neighborhood where we speak softly and look at your shoes ( if we are really outgoing- if not, we look at our own)- But it wasn’t rude, when it occurred with people from the same group- however if another group tried to force their own way of interacting without explanation onto another group, that would be rude as well.</p>
<p>I do something, that I consider rude- but I can’t control it unfortunately.
I seem to have lack of facial recognition, and it is getting worse. When I meet someone, if I spend several days with them consecutively, then I can have normal recognition with other cues, but if I don’t see them again say for a year, even though they don’t look much different ,I can run into them again & not recognize them.:o</p>
<p>This happens to me more than you would think- it apparently could be a precursor to macular degeneration, which runs in my family ( loss of central vision), but there really isn’t a way to treat it.</p>
<p>It is also difficult to explain what is happening without sounding like I am just making an excuse, but it is embarrassing. </p>
<p>We could probably argue all day about what is rude and what is not- but if we leave ourselves open to allowing for other ways of being in the world- that facilitates more understanding, than if we try and impose without justification what we have decided as the " standard".</p>