Considering court-I cannot go into details, but there are reasons I know we will win, we are on a small island in Hawaii, there are two divorce judges here who know our case by now, and a lot has happened already-with non complying, etc. I have no doubts that I will considering the court history and that it’s going to be the same judge. As I have already said-the dad owes $250K in child support and I can garnish his 401K at any time if it comes to that-I already have a court order for that. That’s why I am avoiding discussing finances-I’ve been dealing with the US court system for many years at this point and pretty realistic about how things work.
Regarding dorms at 16 and Med School acceptances. I will obviously be moving with him to wherever he goes and will be close to him until he turns 18 (I work online) He will not be going alone and if the school allows it, will live with me at home until he is 18. Regarding Med School-not my idea, I am against it. He comes from a medical family with generations of doctors. His dad is a doctor so is the entire family on his dad’s side. At this point he pretty much lives in the hospital, spends all his time shadowing doctors, in ER. He observed bypass surgeries, severe trauma and spent nights in ER. He is also already studying for MCAT and has Med School Anatomy textbooks and is studying them. His grandmother is an Anatomy professor at the university, and he is on the phone with her constantly. He is obsessed with Medicine, and there is nothing I can do about it. It’s his dream. I also cannot slow him down in any way.
I meant that he is a first generation US Citizen, not college.
He wants to go to school in the US and live in the UK, he is obsessed with the UK, but UK is impossible. He does not know anything about the US to make a decision on what college to go into, but based on his background, he would be better off in mid size school with strong Research and diverse student body.
There are free Med Schools, but they are all Ivies, that’s why we are trying to get into T20 for undergrad and hopefully get higher chances for one of the no tuition med schools.
Yes, if he goes to the University in Russia or Europe, it’ would be directly to Med School, 6 years, and then he would have to take exams in the US to be able to get into US Residency.
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I get that. Most of the colleges you are talking about require first years to live on campus. They don’t want to make the integrating to college situation even worse for a 16 year by the student living at home with mom.
Anyway, the US undergrad and med school complex may be the ones to slow him down. Again, seems like EU and/or Russia are better options and more affordable. Paging @WayOutWestMom
I understand, and don’t want the details. Just know that if bio dad pays the back child support or you receive 401K funds, etc., those go into the FAFSA and CSS profile. I had a student in this exact situation, where estranged bio mom paid hundreds of thousands of dollars in back child support in each of my student’s last few years of HS. Bio dad, who made $25K per year, used the money to pay off debt. She had to attend a FAFSA only school because the Profile schools did.not.care. The story was a bit more complicated than that, but the lesson holds.
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Since he is not applying to colleges in Hawaii, I do not know how the medical profession views a teenager observing hospital procedures. But it would be a VERY unusual hospital and Chief Medical Officer in Massachusetts that would allow the kind of closeup interactions you are talking about. Just so that you and he are aware.
I had a parent die in one of the top teaching hospitals in Boston. Every time a doctor came into the room, the family was asked “would it be OK for a small group of medical students to observe?” and on the occasions when the answer was “no”, the group went elsewhere. No explanation given or required. Even the most tenured and seasoned med school professors understood that the focus was the patient, not some random observer who is “obsessed” with medical procedures. These were not undergrads. These were not HS students. These were 25 and 26 year old medical students who had already taken and passed courses in medical ethics. I cannot fathom a patient or family giving permission for the kind of access you are describing.
But nonetheless- if the plan is MIT/Stanford or EU/Moscow I think you’ve got a manageable workload ahead of you. Good luck.
One further thought- the two of you should do a deep dive into MIT’s course catalogue and make sure he understands both GIR (General Institute Requirements- the required math and science courses) AND the HASS requirements (humanities, arts and social sciences). The GIR’s mostly map nicely to the premed classes, so no problem there, but MANY HS kids assume that the HASS courses are optional and they are not. There are lots and lots of choices- but they are requirements. Unlike a European university where a medical student can graduate without having to take humanities or arts or social sciences classes- they are required at MIT. Not to beat a dead horse- but your description of a HS kid “obsessed” with medicine may find the requirements more onerous than exciting…..
My kid found them thrilling. Fantastic professors, intense workload, every paper came back with detailed commentary including “here’s a list of other books you might find interesting given your comment about XYZ”…. but these are not gut courses for an easy A.
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Living on campus is fine if colleges require it, I will still be nearby as long as he is underage. Yes, EU and Russia are easier, but there are wars at both, and most likely they will be escalating into Europe, that’s why we are here now trying for the US colleges.
I am very aware of everything you are saying about financial aid-we do have a lawyer and working with him. According to him, the best course of action is to take the dad to court if the CSS profile waver is not granted. The child support debt case is in the court of appeals and will take longer. I trust my lawyer with this matter, I’ve been working with him for years. the dad can afford to pay for college and med school.
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There is also my daughter who is also a Junior and also going to college at the same time as my son, she is an artist and looking for colleges in the US (she is older). We are trying to all stay together, I wont be able to go to Russia or EU with him, I will be here. That’s why US is the first choice. My daughter is doing great at school with similar stats to my son, but has no interest in the cut throat environment or competitive schools, she wants to have a relaxing college experience, so for her there are more options-she is looking at Liberal Arts and small private universities.
The full amount of all child support or 401K etc that your ex contributes will go on both kids’ FAFSAs and CSS Profiles (it does not get split in half.)
I am glad you trust your attorney, but I would be surprised if they understand college and med school financial aid. If you don’t have the FA situation squared away by next spring, you will have to be prepared to execute on plan B for each kid.
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That’s the exact reason he is so interested at MIT-he is very passionate about Philosophy and History-he is the VP of Philosophy Club, he also writes music and is in automotive club (building race cars). His interests are very broad and he may branch out into something else. I am asking him to consider dual majors, since he is so young.
As for being in the hospital-our hospital has a Junior Volunteer Program, he is an official volunteer and signed HIPA and everything else. Volunteers are allowed to observe surgeries, labour and delivery, and sign up to sit with dying patients who have no relatives and are alone. He did his Winterim (school requires internship) shadowing the cardiac surgeon. He seems to be more and more interested the more time he spends in the hospital. At this point I barely even see him. He wakes up at 6am on the weekends and goes to the hospital and stays there til late evening.
I dont know much about EU Universities, but Russian Universities definitely require the same HASS courses and a lot of major unrelated classes, more than in the US. The length of study is shorter, because students are worked to death-they are at the university from morning til night and there are classes on Saturdays too. They take up to 12-15 classes per semester.
The child support debt is still in appeals court, it will be not on FAFSA until it’s over. If it eventually goes on FAFSA, we will use it to pay for college and take the dad to court for the remaining balance. I dont understand the issue of it going on FAFSA-we will have the money then and will use it to pay for college, we wont need financial aid if we have the court order.
The second kid is easy-she will take Merit Aid wherever she gets, our school is very good with it-there is a list of colleges that give generous merit to the kids from our school, so it’s much easier with my daughter. She is happy with the U of Utah Honors College and skiing in Salt Lake City. She is more social than my son and more interested in college life like parties, sororities and having fun. My son only wants to study and wants to be around likeminded kids who are primarily focused on school. He took his Calculus homework to Prom and spent the entire prom doing it.
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Right, if your H has the money to pay full COA for two kids’ college then you are correct, you won’t need to file financial aid forms.
if the judge orders him to pay, he will have no choice but pay, he does have assets that can be garnished. I am pretty sure he will choose to pay. Considering his history of non compliance in court, I am pretty confident that the judge will order him to pay. But we still hope for the CSS profile waver, it will be less traumatic to the kids. They’ve been through a lot.
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This will be a big problem if he wants to practice medicine in the UK. Simply put, the UK will not accept a US medical degree/training as equivalent to a UK degree/training.
The general recommendation when it comes to a medical career is to study and train in the country you plan to practice in.
After US med school he would need to take PLAB (equivalent to the USMLEs in the US), pass those, then do or redo his specialty training in the UK. It’s not a simple process. He would probably also need UK/EU citizenship to get a specialty training position and then would be required to work a period of time in the NHS.
Taking his US medical training to another country beside the UK will find him with similar training roadblocks in his way.
And as @Mwfan1921 mentioned above. US medical schools are not going to be eager to matriculate a younger-than-typical student, no matter how gung-ho he is. Or how long his medical pedigree is. (A med school classmate of my younger D was a 27th generation physician, going all the way back to 14th C Japan. She got exactly ZERO consideration for that factoid.)
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Both of my kids are in the Junior Volunteer Program at our local hospital and both observed multiple surgeries and baby deliveries. There are over 100 Junior Volunteers in that program, so it’s not unusual-they all observe surgeries and procedures. There are shifts assigned to each and they can choose to sign up to observe if they have enough volunteering hours completed (emotional support to patients, cafeteria, gift shop, etc). But our hospital is not a teaching hospital, there are no medical students, and they are beyond short staffed, so doing everything they can to get the kids interested and bringing them back on island after they become medical workers. There are a lot of kids who plan to go into nursing, and they are also volunteering.
He is not going to the UK. We cant afford it, it’s all out of pocket. That’s what he wants-but it’s impossible.
I am not worried about him not getting into med school straight after his BS-he can get a second major, MS, PHd and maybe he will decide to do something else. He has his Child Support until he is 23, so he has time. I think it’s too early to worry about it. We have to figure out the best major for BS and work from there. There are also direct to Med School programs, like CUNY.
I wasn’t suggesting that he go to the UK for his education, but for his medical career after a US MD/DO.
I do not see any benefits of working as a doctor in the UK. if he decided to move there, he would have to figure out a different career path.
I’m so confused.
There are many paths to med school-correct- but you have stated that you aren’t interested in hearing about those, just “chancing” your son for MIT and Stanford, his dreams.
There are some very savvy people on this thread who know more about med school and college admissions than a layperson could ever know. (I am not in this group; I know a lot about a few topics, they know a ton about the topics YOU care about). They could be a lot more helpful if you’d be direct in telling the group how they can help. CUNY is a fantastic institution but I’ll bet it’s even less known in Russia than U Alabama which you’ve already dismissed.
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