It’s now September 1, so almost by design (or perhaps it was the design?) kids will mostly be 18 or just about when they start college. And of course as noted above, redshirting has been popular. (We missed that Sept 1 cutoff as we immigrated with C26 already having first grade under their belt, hence why they are youngest in class)
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Thank you for such a detailed post-when I said that I will be living with him, I meant that he could either live with me/or in the dorms and I will be nearby. I do work for a bank remotely, but I have an option of working offline in a large metropolitan area (like NYC or Boston), and making more. I am a Market Data Manager. So our # 1 choices would actually be NYC, Boston, San Fran, Chicago-that’s where most of the job offers for me are. Yes, the cost of living is higher there, but I can also make more.
I agree with you on the war between Ukraine and Russia. But he is a Russian Citizen too, and it’s not uncommon in Russia to have a dual citizenship with Ukraine. Millions have dual citizenship and there is a huge Ukrainian population in Russia. The war is very concerning, but my son is not very concerned, since he lived there during the war already, and he is exempt from the military service as long as he is enrolled in the university. And US is also at war that is way worse than RU/Ukraine war, and the future here is as unclear as in Russia and Ukraine.
We are not looking at any state flagships, because they do not give any financial aid to oos students-when I do net cost calculators, I get zero aid. We do have a chance at the privates, some of them do not require a CSS profile from a non-custodial parent (U of Chicago is an example, and he is applying there).
For the small Liberal Arts schools my concern is the lack of access to research, hospitals and Med School admissions.
Northwestern is on our list, but he have to figure out the CSS profile. Since getting the non custodial waver is hard and we have to work with each school individually, we limited the list of CSS profile schools to 15.
We cant do the gap year, he will loose his child support. And he really does not want to have a gap year-he really wants to study. Gap year will be very hard for him.
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I am already holding him in HS school for two extra years, he will be graduating HS with 47 credits. He could’ve graduated at 14 and I held him back. He is already pretty upset about it. He is a very strong willed and independent kid. He wants to do it all and now. He is already studying for MCAT. I have no idea how I can hold him back a year longer. I have two kids and my daughter is almost two years older and she is the one who wants a gap year. He will obviously have recommendation letter from his counsellors and teachers-he is the class VP, had his own business since 13 years old, and started working at 13. Hope colleges take it into consideration.
Yes, I would stay nearby during his freshman year.
We did look into child support. Yes, he will have his child support til he is 18. But it means he would be turning 18 during his gap year, while not enrolled anywhere. His CS is pretty good, I would not want him to lose it. And he really does not want a gap year, unless it’s MIT (MIT has deferred admission where you agree to a gap year (he researched it)
Thank you, yes, he is applying to both Vanderbilt and U of Chicago. I am concerned about U of Chicago-they are famous for their grade deflation. But he would definitely be a very good fit for U of Chicago, it’s his kind of people for sure. He researched their essay prompts, and he loved the quirkiness and out of the box themes. The surgeon he is shadowing at the hospital is the U of Chicago alumni and will be writing the recommendation letter.
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Your S needs two LoRs from HS teachers (MIT recommends one STEM, one non-STEM.) He can send the third LoR, from the surgeon, to schools that will take more than the required LoRs (Chicago will take one more.)
I’m not sure Chicago has grade deflation, but it doesn’t have grade inflation. IMO, he should be looking at schools where he can graduate near the top of the class, as that’s what will be required to gain admission to med school.
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I think like most top students the chances are he will not get into any of the listed schools (MIT, Stanford). No one can really chance you on this. Academically he is competitive, but not at the tippy top who will have national and international awards. He does, however, have a very interesting profile which may get him a more serious look. Your state of residence may also give him an edge.
If your child’s thought process is all or nothing, then he needs to realize that it may very well be nothing. He needs a list of schools safety, Target and reach. Safety includes something that he would be happy to attend and is financially affordable by you since it sounds like getting the father to contribute will be a struggle.
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Thank you for such a detailed post. I do not think that soccer should be a factor in my son’s school choice. He is going there to study. Yes, a soccer team on campus would be great, he will play is there is one. The main concern is access to research, internships, hospitals and access to the Eastern European girls (very important to my son). I hear you about the divisive politics, and it’s a huge concern for us (my kids are half Jewish and have Israeli passports, I am not even bringing it up, because it’s another huge issue that’s overwhelming, but we ARE taking it in consideration and in touch with Jewish organizations at all schools we are applying to make sure the kids are safe, the kids are members of BBYO). I did not mention it in my post, because it’s too much-my kids have too much going on at the same time.
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Thank you for your response-safeties are Russia and Europe, possibly Canada or NZ.
You (and your son) really do have a lot to deal with. Reading this made me think of Rice University in Houston, which covers a lot of the bases you’ve mentioned.
Thank you so much for your comment. Rice is on our list. It seems like there is a possibility of merit aid there.
The University of Rochester is a great addition, but you may want to ask how they handle the CSS profile for the noncustodial parent.
A few words about UNC (I think it is on your list):
It seems that support and research for Eastern European studies has closed, or will close, due to funding cuts. There are courses and events that your student might enjoy.
The Jewish population is small, but there is a Hillel.
There is very little snow compared to the northern states, but there is a ski club with man made snow.
There is a cap on OOS students, and some OOS students might find it to be difficult at first. There is an OOS student association that organizes events.
There is a hospital on campus, but that does not mean all students can shadow, and volunteering involves a lengthy interview process. Speaking another language helps.
Thank you for your comment on UNC. It’s on the list, because they do not require the CSS profile from a non-custodial parent. Our close friends live in NC and their daughter goes to UNC-we’ve been talking to them at length about UNC.
My kids grew up in the Russian/Ukrainian culture and were not exposed to the Jewish culture, because they have no contact with their dad (he is the Israeli one) They are now involved in BBYO and learning, but their cultural background is Easter European. We obviously will pass on all colleges that have a strong antisemitic agenda, because it would make my kids uncomfortable. They do not practice Judaism, but they do look full on Middle Eastern/Jewish. Our friends in NC are Muslim, from Uzbekistan, they are saying that UNC is inclusive and their daughter is very happy there, they also say that the student body is very diverse with lots of international students.
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There are international students and a lot of clubs that many join. We are Jewish and my daughter always felt comfortable.
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yes, that’s what I hear from our friends whose daughter goes there-it seems like everyone lives in peace there.
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Yes, I can see U. Chicago being appealing to him. For what it’s worth, Vanderbilt’s non custodial parent policy was what allowed my son to attend with generous financial aid and he had a wonderful experience there. It was quite diverse, students were happy, and your son would receive good preparation for medical school.
The only reason to focus on soccer is that if a coach makes him an offer, it would mean almost certain acceptance. It is like a golden ticket where your chances go from 20% to 99% to be admitted. Except MIT, where they reportedly increase the odds to 50% or so.
Your son would have to be outstanding; and would want to probably focus on d3 schools (Rochester, Chicago, MIT among others).
If he isn’t interested, or isn’t at that level, no worries. But that is why people suggested soccer – it wasn’t just because he loves the game.
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I am super confused - lol - and super curious to see how this all works out!
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