<p>mafool said this:</p>
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<p>mafool, by your own words have made your position clear. The statements you make are indicative of an attitude that is not only harmfully sexist, ( to the degree of encouraging gender hate) but they also are the words of someone who cares not that her philosophy will be perceived as intellectually dishonest and/or morally corrupt. </p>
<p>Sorry to be so harsh.</p>
<p>wow. I truly do not see how you draw such a conclusion. Why the apology when you are obviously intending to be harsh? I suggest you take greater care when accusing someone else of intellectual dishonesty.</p>
<p>CCC88 and HisGrace agree that “This forum is so full of nannies that to want so desperately to protect their “pure little babies” from everything, it seems.”</p>
<p>At what age, exactly, is it appropriate to expose a ‘pure little baby’ to internet porn? At what age should one allow one’s child to be bullied? At what age should I allow my daughter to become aware that some men see her as nothing more than an empty womb?</p>
<p>I worked hard to make sure that my children, now 21 and 22 and college graduates, understand that there is a right way and wrong way to treat other people, and that I expect them to respect other people. I find porn disrespectful; as a parent, not a “nanny” standing in for a parent, I have no problem with my children (and husband) knowing exactly where I stand on the subject. </p>
<p>And my stance is this: “Not in my house, thank you.” Just as when I taught, I didn’t allow swearing (or any other rudenesses) in my classroom, I see no reason why I should allow porn in my house. (Incidentally, I don’t allow tobacco smoking or illegal drug use in my house either.)</p>
<p>People who live together need to respect each other and their opinions. Now that my children have their own residences, they can make the decisions about what they allow. </p>
<p>I realize that many people consider an interest in porn “normal” (the Seattle Public Library found it necessary to offer private computer-use rooms so that patrons could view porn, a decision I found appropriate, since one man’s porn is another man’s ACLU web site). It may be normal, but I don’t have to like it. Having sex is normal too, but I don’t do that in front of my children either.</p>
<p>Maybe he is just a little curious. He is 18 so you shouldnt be that worried. I think that him watching that is better than all the other things that he could be doing at his age.</p>
<p>dmd77-as I told mafool earlier, I find nothing wrong with you enforcing those rules in your household. To be honest, I’ll probably do the same thing when I’m a parent.</p>
<p>HOWEVER. mafool’s “child” is 18…a legal adult, and therefore techincally he can do whatever he wants (now I realize that’s not necessarily true if he’s still at home, erego use of the word “technically”, but hopefully you understand my meaning, I’d be happy to rephrase if I’m not being clear).</p>
<p>Also, I don’t think you ever “allow” your child to be bullied or to become aware that some men see her as nothing more than an empty womb. These are things that just happen, much like exposure to porn. The first time I ever saw porn was by accident, as is the case (I think) a majority of the time.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry if I offended you or implied that you’re not doing a good job of raising your children. I’m sure your children are wonderful people, and I agree with much of what you say.</p>
<p>I suppose this is another one of those “agree to disagree” issues. I mean, I’m not going to buy my kids porn and watch it with them or just give it to them to watch, but I’m not going to make a huge deal about it either (I’m not saying either of you are, but I’ve known parents that have and it didn’t serve the purpose they thought it did).</p>
<p>Sorry if that was too long winded. :)</p>
<p>Just to clarify, His Grace Fills Me, I am not the OP. Merely a bystander.
Actually, this is what I wrote to the OP, who asked if her son was abnormal, in post #5:
</p>
<p>Whoops 
Sorry for the misunderstanding.</p>
<p>I do agree with the anti-porn perspective, & regret that this i.m.o. is one of the downsides of the WWW.</p>
<p>Just because porn is a fact of life does not mean that it is desirable to view it as a teenager. Torture & beheadings are modern realities as well, but it doesn’t necessarily elevate the human spirit to view them. There is a time & a place for everything. Most people, long before the internet, have come across porn, even unwillingly, at one time in their lives. Whether it’s at age 25 or at age 55, the first real hard-core porn you may see is generally an unpleasant shocker. Certainly as a woman I have felt that way, and long before it became fashionable to be politically sensitive in that direction.</p>
<p>Parents choosing to opt for discretion, not to mention old-fashioned good taste, are neither harming their children, overprotecting them, or pretending that life does not include such raw reality.</p>
<p>We are not edified by everything we view, to put it mildly. I’m of a mind that I feel debased even by viewing ‘obscene’ violence. (Many people think violence is quite pornographic, by the way.)</p>
<p>You didnt do anything wrong raising him. He’s 18 and male, and its the year 2008.</p>
<p>Typical mom reaction to their little baby watching porn: o my gosh, where did I go wrong???</p>
<p>Typical dad reaction: <em>whew</em> thank God he’s straight, now we need to graduate him to the real thing</p>
<p>I would agree with the advice that your husband should talk to your son. However, if your husband believes that pornography is harmless and maybe even beneficial to your marriage, then there is no reason to present any other message to your son. Or even if your husband thinks pornography is not particularly good, but he looks at a lot of pornography himself, then anything he says to your son will likely fall on deaf ears. I am old-fashioned enough to think that spending a large amount of time fantasizing about or looking at provocative images of other women besides my wife is detrimental to my marriage relationship. Furthermore, my kids know that I do not look at pornography. How do they know? Simple. I prescribe to an internet filter service that prevents all of the computers in my home from accessing such web sites. </p>
<p>Internet filtering (I use [Internet</a> Filtering - Parental Controls - Web Filter](<a href=“http://www.hedge.org%5DInternet”>http://www.hedge.org), but there are likely other comparable filters available) does not work with 100 percent efficiency (some innocuous web sites are inaccessible and other offensive sites are accessible until someone who prescribes to the service identifies them), but it both demonstrates to my kids that I am not a hypocrite (at least in terms of the internet) and also frees me from ever having to check anything on their computers. I definitely agree with the adage that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. That is why I personally prefer an internet filtering service over software that documents the web sites that have been visited. Sure, even if your son does not have access to pornography, alcohol and drugs at home, he might go off and sneak out and go to a prostitute, get drunk, and/or use drugs at a friends house. But if he respects you and your husband and sees that you really live what you suggest for him (obviously no one is perfect, but largely follow your own advice), he will likely be positively influenced. </p>
<p>Some might consider the idea of an internet filtering service as being overprotective. If someone asked me if I am too weak to have the self control to never access one of these web sites on my own, I would answer, Definitely. However, I consider recognition of my own limitations as humility rather than weakness. Furthermore, with all of the various e-mails and pop-up windows for pornography that spring from other innocuous web sites, it is essentially guaranteed that without some sort of filter I will be exposed to many of these images for longer than is healthy.</p>
<p>Just because he watches porn doesn’t mean he considers it an accurate representation of reality. Of course real-life sex, relationships, and women don’t resemble porn. Give your son more credit than that, and a little privacy.</p>
<p>Vyse- LOL. </p>
<p>OP: Relax. It won’t kill your son and it is highly unlikely to scar him permanently.</p>
<p>I would worry about the computer being effected by malware
[‘Porn</a>’ virus worms its way into 510,000 systems - Software - Breaking Business and Technology News at silicon.com](<a href=“http://software.silicon.com/malware/0,3800003100,39155861,00.htm]'Porn”>http://software.silicon.com/malware/0,3800003100,39155861,00.htm)</p>
<p>[The</a> Associated Press: Some Viruses Come Pre-Installed](<a href=“http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5j5sV-97QAoIse_DNzmQ6bD6oKXJwD8VCQIK80]The”>http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5j5sV-97QAoIse_DNzmQ6bD6oKXJwD8VCQIK80)</p>
<p>Then again I have a Mac.</p>
<p>I also have girls-</p>
<p>Porn is one of the driving forces for innovation in the internet. Whatever the young man is watching, he has a lot of company. I am more concerned about behedding videos, etc. I can’t watch that stuff. Doing so would upset me for days.</p>
<p>Most psychologists, biologists, sociologists and doctors do not consider porn to be harmful given that no study has ever shown it to conclusively have any sort of negative impact on viewers. Porn doesn’t invent any images, it gratifies by displaying what is already inside most men’s heads Welcome to the dark side of the human mind. </p>
<p>The people who tend to oppose it on principle seem to be mostly moms/religious - not exactly bringing the most informed views on human sexuality to the table, here.</p>
<p>Porn rules.</p>
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<p>Quite a broad brush you have there.</p>
<p>And, to remind you, we are not discussing the behavior of independent adults here. I may not love porn, but my belief in the First Amendment requires that I do not want to censor what independent adults read or watch.</p>
<p>This discussion regards the suitability/advisability of porn viewed by kids living with their parents, and the various responses those parents may have.</p>
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And most of those in favor of porn on this thread are those least likely to have had a date.</p>
<p>^^^:D Thanks, Curm. I enjoyed the chuckle.</p>
<p>My pleasure. ;)</p>
<p>I think Curm just sits and waits for the great opportunities.</p>