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<p>Yea because most teens have a more informed view on sexuality than parents right? ;-)</p>
<p>I told my son that porn is for pathetic old guys.</p>
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<p>Hey. I see the ball. I hit the ball. It’s a simple game I play and that was what we call a “tater”. ;)</p>
<p>As long as they’re no kids or animals and your credit card isn’t being used I don’t think this is open to discussion other than clean up after yourself.</p>
<p>I don’t think that this is a big deal (finding porn on someone’s computer), but I can definitely see where you’re coming from.</p>
<p>I personally have not watched pornography and don’t plan on doing so (I’m 16), (because I’m a little old fashioned and I’m from a family very strong on family values) but my friends mention that they engage in masturbation at least 3 - 4 A DAY (I dunno if they’re serious or just “bragging”).</p>
<p>“moms/religious - not exactly bringing the most informed views on human sexuality to the table, here.”</p>
<p>That comment made me laugh out loud. First of all, if we are moms, we must have had sex. Kids may not want to know this, but we’ve even had sex more times than the number of kids we have borne! (I know, if a mom has 3 kids then her kids think she had sex 3 times in her life). And yes, mom was a single girl once herself - most of us are baby boomers, which means we INVENTED the sexual revolution. Don’t look down on us - you should be thanking us for loosening up what used to be tight moral standards in the US! I’m going to horrify some teens when I say that your parents have probably had a lot more sexual experiences than you know about - and frankly, you DON’T want to know about them. </p>
<p>Secondly, since when did religious people not have sex? (Other than celibates). </p>
<p>I just think its so funny how every generation thinks it invented sex. Trust me kids, you can’t combine 2 (or more) bodies in any more ways than it’s already been done over the past hundred thousand years.</p>
<p>But back to the OP. No one here has hit what I think is the central point. The OP is not comfortable with her son viewing porn. It’s pretty clear she disapproves of porn in general. If I read this right, the computer belongs to HER - her son simply has an account on it. Therefore, if he’s doing something on HER computer that she doesn’t approve of, he needs to stop. If he wants to look at porn, he can buy his own computer and pay for his own internet connection. I don’t think clearing the history is the issue here. </p>
<p>If I were the OP I’d try to remain calm, tell her son she does not approve of porn and he is not to view it on her computer. What he does on his own computer and internet connection as an 18 year old is his business, but he shouldn’t expect her to support things she disapproves of (and allowing her computer to be used to view porn is supporting the porn industry).</p>
<p>PS. Count on Curmudgeon to succinctly make the perfect point at the perfect time, and do it with a sense of humor!</p>
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<p>And we’re very proud of y’all. I meant “informed” from a psychological or biological perspective, not the “I just watched the porn-destroys-lives Oprah episode” perspective. </p>
<p>I’m not trying to change anybody’s opinion here, just suggesting that it might be to one’s benefit to swap out The Kite Runner for a decent human sexuality text; it’ll give you a realistic and critical perspective on the debate over pornography’s impact. Better, at least, than a knee-jerk response to something you don’t know too much about. And of course, I believe the parents have a right to control what content enters their households, on their computers. </p>
<p>I’m not sure how Curmudgeon knows enough about me, or the people who watch porn (some 70% of sexually-active men watch it at least once a month) to volunteer opinions on my romantic life, but I laughed.</p>
<p>edit: Ironically, I agree most with MomOFour’s point above.</p>
<p>Jack, please give a good source for your 70% figure. And please define “porn”. Does Law and Order: SVU count? Does Playboy count? </p>
<p>From the Kinsey Institute Encyclopedia: “Several recent surveys provide evidence that nearly one quarter of Americans view pornographic videotapes each year (Davis 1990; Laumann et al. 1994).” [CCIES</a> at The Kinsey Institute: United States of America](<a href=“http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/ccies/us.php]CCIES”>http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/ccies/us.php)</p>
<p>Big difference.</p>
<p>While we are all in agreement that a parent may say “not in my house,” I think there is a secondary disagreement as to whether porn of any kind is acceptable. I have no problem with soft-core porn (the Victoria’s Secret catalog would be in this group and I not only allow that in the house, I actually ordered from it not long ago) and a great deal of difficulty with violent porn (Deep Throat would fall in this group, along with some episodes of Law and Order SVU, which I refuse to watch)). I refuse to think about where I draw the line between the two.</p>
<p>dmd77 said:</p>
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<p>Im calling shenanigans!</p>
<p>So, you say Deep Throat was a violent movie? Admit it dmd, you never saw it the movie. Youre BSing us. </p>
<p>I saw the movie. I saw it in the early 70s in the Student Center at Vassar College. It was presented as a farce and something to be laughed at, which it was. People werent so uptight about sex back then as they are today. It was a raunchy, ridiculous porn flick to be sure, but there was no violence in it. You attempted to advance your argument with a lie.</p>
<p>Toblin: rape with a Coke bottle doesn’t make you cringe? It should have.</p>
<p>Just a woman’s perspective:</p>
<p>The best lovers are men that understand good sex is intensely personal.
You can’t be paying attention the way you should if your brain is filled
with other women (either from porn or whatever). So, guys that are into
porn = less attractive guys.</p>
<p>Jack.</p>
<p>You object, however gracefully, to assumptions being made about you and other posters
yet you commit the same offense:
and
</p>
<p>Such condescension and contempt do not help your argument.</p>
<p>You know nothing about my experiences and knowledge, and I doubt very much that you know any more about those of the other ignorant and “knee jerk” mothers who are writing here.</p>
<p>Many of us have seen and experienced far more than you might like to imagine. </p>
<p>Toblin, it would do to keep in mind that, in the early 70’s feminist concerns were not universally supported, even at east coast colleges. Yes, I saw Deep Throat. Yes, I thought it was ridiculous, It also made me very uncomfortable, but at the time I did not have the context or the vocabulary to understand my own discomfort.</p>
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<p>The porn industry is indeed not victimless. However, unless the son is supporting them financially by paying (which I doubt) or going to sites whose focus and business model is explicitly advertising-based, then I don’t think he’s supporting the porn industry in any way.</p>
<p>As for your side point about drugs, I don’t think it’s a particularly telling one since there is a very easy, very direct way to stop the phenomenon of drug revenues going to illicit groups - and that is to legalize drugs. Saying drugs are bad because buying them supports illegal groups is like saying drugs should be illegal because they are illegal - it’s a circular argument.</p>
<p>Anyways, as for what to do about your son, I don’t know that there’s much you can do. Full disclosure here: I have watched porn in the past; I do not know a single teenager who hasn’t. Not a single one. Maybe all my friends are depraved and horrible, but this is a pretty universal occupation among teenage boys (if not girls). Given that college is right around the corner, and given the strong urges driving watching porn, saying “NO MORE” is going to have absolutely no effect, and it will cost you more in alienation than it will gain in making him watch less. If I were you, I’d simply remind him of the (lack of) reality of these movies/sites, and to be mindful of that and how to treat the real women in his life. That’s about the best you can do. And then try not to think about it too much - like kids thinking about their parents having sex, it’s one of those areas you’re probably better off just forgetting. :)</p>
<p>1of42: Hear, hear. Well said.</p>
<p>1of42: the point I was trying to make is that the fact that the proceeds from illicit drugs go to terrorists is sufficient reason not to use them. I do in fact support legalization for just that reason.</p>
<p>As for the issue of whether or not a kid will stop if you tell him not to watch porn, that’s irrelevant. My stance is that it is quite reasonable to say “not in my house, for these reasons” and then enforce that, however you choose to enforce it.</p>
<p>I also think it’s reasonable to make a distinction between soft porn and harder porn. I have asked my son if he wants his Victoria’s Secret catalogs forwarded (he’s on their mailing list, and no, I haven’t asked why).</p>
<p>1of42,</p>
<p>Do you think the real women in a young man’s life are going to
be any more impressed with the “I can’t control my strong urges
and that’s why I watch porn,” argument than his mom?</p>
<p>Most grown-up, attractive women I know would run the other
way at that kind of immaturity.</p>
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<p>I’ll say this again: I am not arguing that you don’t have a right to an opinion based on your life experience. That’s ridiculous. </p>
<p>The simple fact is that many of the opinions in this thread are subjective, and don’t line up too well with most scientific attitudes towards pornography. Interpret that as you will, but as a former neuroscience major and as somebody who works in a laboratory that studies these things, I do feel qualified to speak about the biological and psychological mechanisms that underlie pornography. You can see things the way you <em>think</em> they are, based on personal assumptions, or the way they look based on peer-reviewed studies, data, and the opinions of people who study these things for their jobs.</p>
<p><a href=“Kinsey%20study”>quote</a>… Big difference.
[/quote]
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<p>Citing a fourteen-year-old study into porn viewing on a specific media (videotapes, which require the loss of anonymity via a trip to a shady rental place) not only doesn’t account for printed pornography, but leaves out the internet, which only started to become a major presence later. </p>
<p>You got me, though - the “70%” statistic came from a biology of gender class from way back when, and I can’t find a good study online to cite. I could dig up my textbook, but unfortunately I’m not going to put that sort of effort into winning an internet debate, so I can’t back that stat up with anything solid. </p>
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<p>Yeah… I was objecting more to the fact that it was a joke with all the wit and incisiveness of an Everybody Loves Raymond episode, not because it was an unfair observation.</p>
<p>The people who tend to oppose it on principle seem to be mostly moms/religious - not exactly bringing the most informed views on human sexuality to the table, here.</p>
<p>:rolleyes:</p>
<p>Um- did you skip history class honey?</p>
<p>[glbtq</a> >> social sciences >> The Sexual Revolution, 1960-1980](<a href=“http://www.glbtq.com/social-sciences/sexual_revolution.html]glbtq”>http://www.glbtq.com/social-sciences/sexual_revolution.html)</p>
<p>so curm you aren’t at SXSW?</p>
<p>I thought you would be playin [chicken ----bingo](<a href=“Chicken S#@t Bingo Drops Its Lucky Load at SXSW | WIRED”>http://www.wired.com/culture/lifestyle/multimedia/2008/03/gallery_chicken_bingo</a>)
;)</p>
<p>Oh, and I almost forgot. Anybody who says that</p>
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<p>clearly has never seen a really good porn. Some of the configurations they manage these days… you’re just like, damn.</p>
<p>Jack,</p>
<p>As I posted previously, you may be surprised. At least one of the ignorant mothers whom you describe as getting information from Oprah episodes or popular fiction did, in fact study and perform research in related fields. Some of us did not lose our minds, logic, or ability to reason when we gave birth.</p>
<p>Are your statements regarding others’ knowledge and judgments, including your jibe about not having seen “really good porn,” above, or your assessment of posters’ knowledge bases not entirely “subjective?” Please have the integrity to apply to yourself those high standard you claim to value.</p>
<p>I am less concerned at present with the content of your argument (but please remember that we are not discussing independent adult choices here), than the condescension, arrogance, and insults you use to make your arguments.</p>