<p>Today was a bad day. A meltdown because of a casting disappointment which extended to all of his ECs being “not what he thought they would be”, etc. Big drama. Parenting is not for the faint-hearted.</p>
<p>Don’t you wish you had a magic wand to wave all the hurt away.</p>
<p>Mimk6, sorry about the bad day. I think they can be so globally all black and all white sometimes. Isn’t that a hallmark of teens? </p>
<p>My D would probably never have a serious disappointment or meltdown…yet I secretly wish she would! Before you have to roll your eyes, let me explain. But what I mean is if she did, it would also mean that she really CARED and was PASSIONATE about something. No pain no gain right? But she’s sort of an ‘oh well’ shrug your shoulder kind of person which I know has its benefits too, and I’m glad she’s just so even keel (unlike me). But but but it also means she doesn’t get revved up, or highly motivated by stress, nor work hard at things, nor give it her all. Laissez-faire could be her middle name. I sometimes think I would find it so much easier to parenting by calm down and reassurance or a morale boost, when instead I have to nag or find myself thinking of ways for her to feel stress (like me!). 
Our kids are a package, and I guess what we find trying might be a good thing because of what goes with it, or what we see as a good thing has its disadvantages too. </p>
<p>Oldfort (or others too)-- you have an older child too right? Did you go through with them what you go through with your sophomore? Does it turn out alright? :)</p>
<p>I am going to try the following. When I feel like intervening, controlling, pressuring, overtly suggesting, nagging, and telling my sophomore for the 60th time what she already knows (and is probably doing the ‘right way’ even if it is her own way and so not MY way), I will try to hold off and instead, come here and whine to you about it.</p>
<p>Thanks for the helpful words. Maybe that’s what this thread can be – wine, chocolate, and all of us pushing each other up this last hill of parenthood!</p>
<p>starbright - yes, it did turn out alright. I was so torn all last year (D1’s senior yr) between nagging/pushing/threatening, and letting her make her own mistakes. truly, finding CC was a godsend. great to find other parents with similar issues who provided sage advice and sometimes, just a shoulder. (not to mention chocolate-eating and wine-drinking companionship ;))</p>
<p>parenting D2 presents a different set of challenges, some easier, some not so much. I think the difference is that I am acutely aware of how little time I have left with her at home, so I will strive to strike a better balance between the negative nagging and positive fun times.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>That is the crux of my problem…I seem to think that I am or should be the majic wand. There can be no growth or maturity without experience. We all know this intellectually. Now, if only we could find true solace in this. </p>
<p>I am really working on not nagging or reminding or even keeping tabs on DS’s use of his time. These kids have to figure some of this out on their own.</p>
<p>mimk6-----so true…definitely not for the faint -hearted !</p>
<p>starbright - it turned out great for D1. She is very happy where she is. We’ve always had a very good relationship through out high school until senior year. I didn’t have any teenage problems with her - drinking, relationship, bad attitude. Our relationship was very tense her senior year because of the college process. She was afraid I was disappointed in her, and I was worried we haven’t done enough for her. But once she decided where she was going, everything went back to normal and we became even closer.</p>
<p>D2 is a complete different person. She is not as communicative. She tends to keep things to herself more (as you could see in my previous post). I think there maybe a bit of “keeping up with the older sister, or one up on her.” I am going to have to adjust my approach with her. It’s almost like going through the process completely new because she is so different. She is a lot more into humanities, so she maybe looking at different schools than her sister. </p>
<p>I have seen few family and friend’s kids go through the process in the last few years. One thing for sure is it tends to work out, even if it may be painful during the process. That’s why I like this thread, keeping it light.</p>
<p>Speaking of keeping it light… </p>
<p>Last night, DD came home w/news that she placed first in her sports tournament! Yeah!</p>
<p>Then DS came home w/news that he’s changed his mind and has a new #1 school. He wants to apply to a SERIOUS reach (the strain your muscles/pull your back kind of reach.) We spent weeks putting together a reasonable list and visiting schools. This one wasn’t even on it! Huh?</p>
<p>A glass of wine on a Wednesday…killed two birds with one stone…</p>
<p>^Two glasses! One to celebrate, one to relax!</p>
<p>starbright, at this rate I may have to switch to two-buck Chuck from Trader Joe’s or I’ll go broke! DH also joined in the celebrating/de-stressing w/a glass.</p>
<p>lilmom - I like the two-fisted drinker thing you got going. some days are just like that ;)</p>
<p>oh, and congrats on your D’s first place!</p>
<p>Keep pouring the wine…I’m parched.</p>
<p>Joining the group- I have the third one graduating in 2012- a true Drama kid- loves drama but unfortunately for us, every situation at home involves drama. teenage boys are easier than (at least this one) teenage girls. I have one graduating college this year (ack!) and a second year at Purdue (but he’s on a co-op program so no school this semester) and a eighth grader
Now can I have my wine and chocolate? Lots this way please!</p>
<p>Welcome fourkidsmom! You’ve definitely earned your wine and chocolate. And having been through this twice already, you’ll have lots of great advice to share.</p>
<p>Is your kid involved in the high school scene (i.e. attends school dances, rallies, etc.) and how large is their social group? My D is a very social person yet she considers very few of the people in HS real friends. I feel for her because her best friend is very involved in a team sport that keeps her extremely busy. So, on some Friday nights, D really doesn’t know what to do. Her sport keeps her busy but since its not a real team sport, it doesn’t have the same kind of social opportunities. She’s a good student and serious about her sport yet I sometimes think she feels she’s missing out on something… Maybe I’m reading more into this than I should…</p>
<p>DD is also very social and has a lot of kids she knows at school, but only a few she really calls true friends. She rides horses and competes on the high level hunter/jumper circuit, so her sport is not part of school. She said that sometimes she feels left out as other friends are so involved in their school sports and hanging out with people on their teams. But on the other hand, DD has friends she rides with that do not go to her school so if there is drama at school there is no drama with the barn friends.</p>
<p>My husband just came back from D2’s back to school day. Parents go through their kids’ classes, each teacher explains what they will be doing during the year. My H is very impressed with what they are doing in the biology class. Not being a science person, he said they will be going through 3 generations of a plant, extracting DNA from the plan and see how it changes. He said they have state of the art equipments in there. One parent, who is a molecular biologist said they will be doing things she didn’t even do in college. But what’s interesting is, the teacher advised parents not to have kids take the Biology SAT II exam, because they are not going to necessary cover everything that’s going to be on the exam. Whereas they said our kids will be more than adequately prepared for the Chemistry exam. I am kind of happy that our school’s curriculum is not just about school board exams. In English, there will be mostly papers with very few tests. Teacher said by 10th grade the students should have their grammar and spelling down, they’ll be focusing on analysis of literature. H said D2 has great teachers this year. They all seem enthused. </p>
<p>At the advisor period, one parent asked about PSAT. The advisor said, “Oh, I don’t know if it’s given at 10th grade.” She then looked at my H, “Your wife probably would know.” Hmm…</p>
<p>Just found out the DS is being inducted into Mu Alpha Theta (the national math honor society) on Tuesday evening, the night before his next huge AP world exam and a major English paper is due. The good with the bad?</p>
<p>^^oldfort, have you blown your cover on cc? That’s funny how the advisor deferred to you re: the PSAT. Yet, I would be concerned if my D’s advisor didn’t know at which grade the PSAT could be taken. </p>
<p>seiclan, congratulations on your S’s induction! Maybe he’ll be more motivated to get the Engl paper done!</p>