<p>My sister called me and asked about our plans for my son’s graduation. This led to a discussion about high school graduation in general. I said it was nice and all that but just another ho-hum event in life. She strongly disagreed - saying that that the kids work quite hard for that accomplishment and it’s a significant event. </p>
<p>My sister and I both did grad school so it’s interesting we have such a different take on this. I reminded her that when we graduated high school our celebration was going out for ice cream. Graduation presents? Nothing but graduation cards. Admittedly, it’s a different time - no one then had 8th grade graduation parties like they do now. Talk about a joke, I’d more likely celebrate Mother’s-in-law day. Also, we’re getting closer and closer to the time when a someone may need a high school diploma to work at Wal-Mart. We have have more and more occupations that require a graduate degree to obtain certification just to work. So, what’ the big deal? </p>
<p>That said, I’m sure we’ll have a big party and have a bunch of people over so the end result is not in question - merely my musings on the subject. Clearly my sister’s viewpoint is just as valid. After all, can’t an event be appreciated for the journey rather than the significance of the outcome? </p>
<p>Parents … what’s your take on this?</p>
<p>It’s nice to get family and friends together for happy times. Sometimes the happy celebrations are not very close together.</p>
<p>ho-hum its not, but big-bash, no…but a great time for families to get together especially if they don’t see each other too often. Just so happens my parents haven’t been here (they are in NC, we are in FL) in a couple years, and its also my son’s Bar Mitzvah the week before graduation. We will all go to graduation, all going out for dinner after. We did get my D a gift…was it a lexus? no LOL ,nothing close. She did work very hard in H.S., and worked part time at the same time since she was 14., got a partial scholarship to a local state college (she will stay home) etc. Are we having a huge bash, no, but nothing wrong with a nice family dinner and a gift I know she will love that we didn’t mortgage the house for 
But all families are different…congrats to all :)</p>
<p>We are also going low key. It is going to be a hectic time at our house as D’s graduation gift from me is a trip to Europe (with me) and we are leaving the following Monday. Perhaps we’ll have a nice dinner, maybe bbq, but nothing fancy, no Lexus in our driveway - a big trip is enough - the college tuition bill will be arriving all too soon!</p>
<p>Fancier parties may be regional phenomena. Where my sisters live, parents normally throw an open house or maybe a large back-yard barbecue and invite all the relatives, friends, teachers, parents’ work colleagues, church friends, etc. etc. The mom puts together a giant display of all the trophies, awards, etc. since pee-wee soccer. People stream in and out of the house for hours, and the honoree often has to skip out after only an hour or two in order to pay his/her respects at one or more friends’ parties.</p>
<p>Happykid is set to graduate in June. In her four years of HS, we have received exactly ONE invitation, and that is for a classmate who she’s known since first grade. Clearly the custom is different here! Since our apartment is too dinky for a party, it looks like the most we’ll be responsible for is the tab for any out-of-town-relatives who hang around long enough to go out for brunch the day after the evening graduation ceremony.</p>
<p>I don’t know how other high schools are, but my alma mater and the others in my school district don’t take <em>that</em> much hard work to graduate from.</p>
<p>I think college graduation is a MUCH bigger deal.</p>
<p>That said, I didn’t have any kind of graduation party. My school has been blessed with an evening ceremony the last several years (which is a blessing in SoCal in the middle of June…all our district has graduation at the local JC, and so we stagger the ceremonies over two days). My close family was there…mom, dad, sister, and maybe one of sister’s friends…and then we went home and had ice cream cake with my cousins who live close by and I got all my gifts. :)</p>
<p>I did attend a couple of graduation parties though, and they were a nice opportunity to see everyone before I left for SSU.</p>
<p>I just never thought of HS Graduation as a big deal. It was widely known at my HS that Graduation is more for the family/friends than for the Graduate.</p>
<p>I think high school graduation is a big deal- but then I didn’t graduate.</p>
<p>Students are juggling school, often jobs, and sports, not to mention pressures from family & friends pulling them this way and that.</p>
<p>It is a wonder that some of these kids are still in one piece, let along graduating-
my youngest graduated with honors, but the only ones that even showed up were myself, my H and her adult sister from another state.
:(</p>
<p>when you are the graduate (like my D) who has worked so hard (honors program, honor society, top 10% of class etc. in a competitive public high school) … she is excited and happy to participate in graduation activities, honors dinners, etc. There are a few she knows that have no desire to even ATTEND graduation. (which I don’t understand) but anyway… I guess it is what it is depending on the student. Then again I know a student who wasn’t sure she would graduate , but found out she will (grades were ok) and she is excited to go)…so…I guess to each his own :)</p>
<p>The reality is that in today’s world it is not a big deal.</p>
<p>In our part of the world – the rural Midwest – high school graduation is a big deal, with a party honoring the graduate. It is less a celebration of some big accomplishment than a celebration of the kid being launched into the quasi-adult world (of college, for most). Aside from a wedding, this is the “big” party that is typically thrown in a person’s honor. (Sweet sixteen parties, debuts. parties thrown in honor of religious ceremonies, and college graduation parties don’t happen here.)</p>
<p>And I suppose calling this a “big” party is somewhat misleading. Food is usually cake, punch, and sandwiches or tacos. Gifts are typically $10 to $20 bucks in a card, not trips to Europe, cars, etc.</p>
<p>objective said <<the reality=“” is=“” that=“” in=“” today’s=“” world=“” it=“” not=“” a=“” big=“” deal.=“”>></the></p>
<p>not sound rude, but whose reality are you talking about? It really all depends on the student and how they feel about their accomplishments (or lack of) , their high school experience (positive or negative) and their outlook…are they going to college with a career in mind or ? etc. etc. </p>
<p>While its not a SUPER BIG DEAL, many go to dinner, icecream, etc. whatever with family and some don’t, but don’t make a broad statement like that as it can absolutely vary from family to family.</p>
<p>(dont’ be debbie downer LOL) ;)</p>
<p>It’s my personal rule that anything that will happen only once in the history of the world is important enough to make a big deal. That includes birth, death, baptism, bar/bat mitzvah, wedding, confirmation, etc. </p>
<p>If it will never, ever happen again then it matters, IMO. Birthdays and holidays are annual events, so they’re “lesser deals” to us. </p>
<p>Now, different people have different ideas of what a “big deal” is. For Son’s HS graduation (a once in the history of the world event), we’re “going all out” and renting an inflatable bouncy cage-thing. To us that’s a big deal. Woo hoo :rolleyes:! But to some families it’s SOP for every kids’ birthday. </p>
<p>I’m also going to cater some of the menu and use non-disposable dishes. Fancy-shmancy big deal, huh? ;)</p>
<p>All kidding aside, “big deal” is a subjective assessment. Both sides of the opinion can be right on.</p>
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<p>Did that for my kids’ 16th bday party and may do so for HS graduation. The kids LOVED it! worth every penny.</p>
<p>BTW, what do you all think of more of a going-away party in mid August vs a graduation party?</p>
<p>I love the August party idea.</p>
<p>I like whatever’s definition - maybe not a huge accomplishment, but worth celebrating! We don’t have middle school graduations or parties around here and college ones are spotty so there are lots of High School parties. I’ve never been to a fancy one, most are just in the back yard, often with a tent to ward off the sun or potential rain. </p>
<p>I think graduating from college is a much bigger deal but it seems harder to nail down the graduates for a party.</p>
<p>We are not having any kind of party for D’s graduation. I think most people here in SoCal may have a get together with family, but not a big party. We will have grandparents and my brother and his girlfriend at the graduation. Afterwards we will take everyone out to an early dinner then D can join her friends at a beach bondfire.</p>
<p>I don’t consider graduating from high school a big deal, unless the kid has been dealing with significant setbacks–struggles in school, depression, big changes that the student grappled with, someone close to them dying, etc. Definitely worth celebrating with a nice dinner and a heartfelt “congratulations,” but not uber-exciting for the student–this was the prevailing attitude at the school I graduated from, anyway.</p>
<p>There weren’t any huge graduation parties when I graduated . . . but my cousins, who live in a different city, went from house to house hitting parties in a “musical chairs” fashion. It was definitely a Big Deal for them.</p>
<p>H.S. grad. not huge here in our household. One set of grandparents came for S1’s but were too sick to make it to S2’s. S1 didn’t come either for bro’s grad. either…said he was sure S2 wouldn’t care…which he really didn’t seem to.</p>
<p>Our h.s. grad. is very impersonal, held in an NBA arena with lots of rude people screaming and clapping constantly. When it’s over, we’re rushed out like cattle because the next school to grad. is on their way in. Neither S rode to or from grad. with us…rode with friends.
Didn’t even get pictures of S2 (made him put the cap and gown on before leaving for college so I could take pics of him!)</p>
<p>Afterwards both kids went to parties with their friends. It was kids only. Parents not invited. We gave each kid a gift equiv. to a couple of hundred dollars. </p>
<p>When I graduated from high sch., we jumped in the car and headed directly to the beach as soon as we walked out of the school gym. My bro. came but my sis did not. No parties or big gifts.</p>
<p>We used the occasion two years in a row (my kids graduated back-to-back) to invite all the relatives and have a party! We live many states away and so was a wonderful opportunity to get together. We had a blast and I think the kids enjoyed the open house we threw for them, their friends, and really, mostly for us!!</p>
<p>In our part of the country, house parties are big and I recall D must have gone to at least 10-15 parties staggered over the course of about 3 weeks. I must say, it was really alot of fun and I’m glad we made a big deal of it.</p>
<p>We celebrated both college graduations with lots of relatives who flew/drove from all over to meet up with us. Both our kids went pretty far away from home. I’m really glad we made a point to make it a big deal. Since we’re all spread apart, it was special to get together for something joyous for a change. (Before that, we’d pretty much seen each other at funerals.)</p>
<p>I think it is expected that kids should graduate from high school so I don’t think graduation is any huge accomplishment. I do however, feel a little sad for the large numbers of kids that are stressed, depressed, anxious etc. Some of these kids seem to have spent every waking high school moment ‘preparing’ for college and are distraught if they didn’t get into their ‘first choice school’. I think one day they may regret not living their lives during high school. </p>
<p>I consider myself successful and in high school I never took an AP/IB course, never did community service, never traveled abroad, etc. I never even thought of doing something that would look good on a college application. My college major was something I really enjoyed but has nothing to do with my line of work. </p>
<p>We won’t be doing anything huge for my sons graduation - probably going out for a nice dinner or cooking out at home.</p>