<p>Not a big deal here either. When my son asked “what do I get for graduation?” his father answered: “you get to go to college.” We expected our kids to graduate, and didn’t see it as a big accomplishment. When took them to dinner and then they went off to the all night lock in party that is sponsored by our high school.
This year DS is graduating from college but graduating early and has elected not to attend the ceremony. I was disappointed about that one but it is his choice. We are going to give him a nice used car so that he has wheels once again. (He was in college in the city with no car).</p>
<p>High School graduation here are generally celebrated with an open house type party. When my son graduated, he did not want a party, so we had a dinner in a nice restaurant with grandparents. My daughter, on the other hand, will want a party!!! We are leaning towards a late summer “send off” party since there is so much going on at grad time. Her b’day is late in the summer, so we will probably combine the celebrations!</p>
<p>It’s a big deal here and a LOT of work. I’ve had 2 in the last 3 years and every day I’m giving thanks I can rest this year. Most people have open houses and lots of friends, neighbors, relatives, and the student’s friends–we had ~150 last year. </p>
<p>Different types of food, but hog roasts and lots of side dishes are common, plus the big graduation cake. Almost always a display table with pictures and other things from the grad’s life (sports and academic awards, scholarship certificates, scrapbooks, senior pictures). Videos with music and pictures from baby to graduation are very common.</p>
<p>Around here, it’s the great excuse wives use to get the H to agree to finish the garage, finish the basement, or re-do the kitchen. Many things get marked off “the list” the year of a graduation. Again, tons of work, but I think it’s a nice way to acknowledge the kid’s graduation and send them off to the next phase.</p>
<p>I think it’s a big deal. Not because they’ve managed to graduate from high school, but because it signifies the end of childhood. Whether they are going on to college, entering the work force, joining the armed forces, or wherever their path takes them, they are no longer kids. They are young adults and I believe in celebrating that.</p>
<p>3bm103, you make some excellent points. I agree that when we celebrated our two graduating from high school, it definitely felt that we were celebrating what great young adults they had become. Especially true for S who also had his Eagle ceremony that same weekend. It really struck us during that very emotional ceremony that our once little guy was truly a young man now.</p>
<p>While it’s true that finishing high school isn’t by itself such a huge achievement, finally becoming that young adult who will be leaving soon to find the future, is indeed noteworthy. Thanks for bringing that to the discussion.</p>
<p>I also think it is a big deal- I feel that those who claim it is " expected" and so not a big deal- give me the impression that they act the same way when they get a big raise or promotion- that it * naturally* was coming.
well aren’t you and your children * special*.
:rolleyes:</p>
<p>It is a rite of passage for young adults, just as learning to walk is a rite of passage for most babies and riding a bike is for young children.
Or are those things * not a big deal* either?</p>
<p>it’s kind of a big deal where I live but more of a we have graduation parties…most of them are open house types but since most seniors at my school show up each day in Acuras w/ the occasional Mercedes thrown in, I’m not sure how much not getting another car matters…
My parents are inviting a few friends to attend the ceremony but I doubt I’m throwing a party. Honestly my parents were more thrilled that I got into my first choice college (and promised to take the family out for dinner… eventually) there was never any consideration that I wouldn’t graduate HS, so they’re mostly worried that I’d feel left out if “everyone” else threw a huge party when they offered.</p>
<p>I think it’s a fairly big deal. Sort of a right of passage. The kids are usually very mixed about leaving all their friends and starting their independent lives, so there’s certainly an emotional component to the ceremony and all the surrounding activities.
And for most of us parents, it may be the last time our kids really live at home. </p>
<p>Mine didn’t have a party but went to a few. For the most part, they did things with their friends whom they wouldn’t be seeing on a day-to-day basis any longer.<br>
Although I’m surprised how in touch they actually have been with their high school friends through the years. Both of mine are finished with college now, and they still consider their closest high school friends their oldest best-buds. I think that any memories you can create now around the occassion will only serve to keep the ties strong, which is a good thing in this world.</p>
<p>Sure it’s a big deal. It’s not about the level of academic accomplishment, it’s a rite of passage between childhood and semi-adulthood. It’s also a celebration of community and friends and families, some of whom may be known since nursery school. Good times.</p>
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<p>Not to me. You seem somewhat miffed that someone has a different opinion than yours. </p>
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<p>Great point and perspective.</p>
<p>It’s been our experience that HS grad is a bigger deal in terms of celebration than college grad. It’s usually celebrated by a house party/BBQ with many family, friends and fellow classmates in attendance. Where we live the month following HS grad is full of parties that the kids are invited to, so much so that they have to choose between several on the same day. College grad on the other hand seems to a more smaller and close family affair.</p>
<p>HS graduation parties are very popular here. Much more so than when I graduated HS. Because we live in an affluent area where virtually everyone graduates HS and the majority go off to college, it seems as if it is more chance to get together before the kids scatter to their different schools.</p>
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<p>Same here.</p>
<p>Didn’t throw my kids a high school graduation party but did have one for the eldest’s college graduation. It just seemed like a much more special occasion to me. So I was surprised when a friend whose eldest child graduates high school this month recently said that while everyone in her town throws a high school graduation “open house”, she had never heard of a college graduation party before ours. Made me wonder why I think so differently. It was a great time. DS’s friends were of legal age so I could relax about their drinking and they were mature enough to just spend the night here rather than risk driving home.</p>
<p>In our smaller, midwest town, graduation parties-open houses, cookouts, etc-are the norm. It is a great time for the students to have one last fling together before the general exodus to college. The parents enjoy the opportunity to see each other and visit. It is a celebration of entering a new phase of life. It is not the actual graduation that is being celebrated so much as the beginning of a new phase in life for our families.</p>
<p>For our extended family, only my sister has had her kids graduate from college & one from law school (the rest of nieces & nephews are still too young to have completed their educations but all expect to get undergrad & likely further degrees). For her kids, she didn’t do anything for their college graduations but did have a dinner party after the law school graduation (it was in-state U & we were all in town).</p>
<p>For us, S is the next in the extended family to graduate from college. We will be going up for his graduation & attending his bacalaurette dinner. His aunt & uncle & my buddy from LA will also join in the festivities. We don’t know if & when he’s returning to HI, so have no specific plans for a celebration.</p>
<p>HS grads in HI are much celebrated–lots of leis, lots of gifts, nice parties with meals and many friends & family in attendance (for ceremony & afterwards). Other graduations are not much heralded–not sure why but that seems to be how things go around here. In fact, the graduate often doesn’t even stick around for his/her graduation. At most, the parents of the graduate may attend but very few other relatives attend or celebrate. </p>
<p>We’re pleased and surprised that my BIL & SIL have chosen to drive from SF to LA to attend. None of my family members are attending–D will be there, of course, but neither my parents or other relatives. Our close friends live in LA & my buddy there & her family will be joining in some of the festivities with us (we’ll be staying with them).</p>
<p>we had a combination 18th & 10th birthday party- graduation from high school, moving up from elementary school for family and friends.</p>
<p>For younger D’s high school graduation, no family party, but she did have one with her friends at the beach and attended other friends parties ( as did I).</p>
<p>For oldests college graduation , H & younger sister had to leave immediately after they saw D1 walk across the stage- as D2 had a field trip in another state that she couldn’t miss ( and flying wouldn’t have made a difference).</p>
<p>So not so much the after party, but I did stay to help her clean their apt.</p>
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<p>But this is really the first big event that a kid has. If you’re not from a religious background and you haven’t had a first communion or a bar/bat mitzvah or some other rite of passage, then there hasn’t ever really been a rite of passage celebration for you.</p>
<p>Plus, it’s a big rite of passage. You end your life at home with your nuclear family, you go off to college, then before you know it, you’ve got a 401K and a salary. It’s expected, but most rites of passage are expected. (My husband and I were together seven years before we got married… if anybody at our wedding didn’t expect our marriage from half a decade away, then they weren’t paying attention!)</p>
<p>It doesn’t have to be an <em>expensive</em> deal, but it’s a <em>special</em> deal, and one worthy of special recognition.</p>
<p>As a person who goes to gratuation every year, I think it is a special occassion and I hve been invited to a lot of celebrations. I agree with Aibarr, that for many young people it is their first big rite of passage and their first footstepa toward adulthood. </p>
<p>At our house high school was a big deal (took about 15 people out to lunch after the ceremony) and then held something at my house over the weekend. College was a more initmate occassion (would not really expect anyone outside of immediate family to travel to event). Graduated on a sunday, flew home monday, wednesday, went on last hurrah trip with the friends to mexico. I expect law school to be an even smaller event.</p>
<p>In my group of friends the high school graduation is celebrated more. Most of our kids go far away to college and often don’t “come home” after college graduation. None of us send cards, etc announcing college graduations. For us, high school it’s a fun time to get together and talk about how fast the kids have grown up…the kids are at the other end of the yard talking about how soon they will be “getting out from under our thumbs.”</p>