Or maybe graduating from hs is a BFD in their family.
I googled “no boxed gifts” and it comes up re: weddings, Apparently it’s more a custom in some cultures. But, weddings. The explanations seem split between please don’t bring boxes to the venue (implying you can send them to the home) and, yup, the check.
Thanks everyone for your responses. From what I have read here it seems “no boxed gifts” means check, cash, or giftcard. “Dress to impress” at a dinner would be cocktail dress or a nice evening dress. I will give an amount in my comfort zone not based on how elaborate the party is.
Customs vary in different areas, but in my community, classmates of a graduating senior wouldn’t bring a gift to a graduation party. The party would, in effect, be celebrating the milestone reached by the entire group. Go, have fun, and, if you would feel out of place arriving empty-handed, bring a $20 Amazon gift card. Or call the host to suggest that your kids not “exchange” gifts (boxed or otherwise.)
While I agree that this party seems over the top, I can see having one in a hall if one’s home is small, like ours is. We have a large extended family, unpredictable weather, a very small home, and access to a church hall, where it’s entirely possible our D’s graduation party will be. A huge, expensive “do”, not so much, but hopefully people won’t be offended if we choose the hall option.
“Dress to impress” sounds to me very much like Thursdays at D’s school-“dress for success”. That means: no jeans, no tee shirts, no baggy clothes, no sneakers. Basically you’re to dress as if you’re an adult in the working world-dresses, skirts, khaki pants, etc. The kids mostly look forward to it. I’ve heard of some halls that have dress codes-I can see such a note on invites to a party at such a hall.
If your D wants a gown, have her search thrift shops. A nice top and slacks should be more versatile for future use. No boxed gifts and recommending checks of $50-100 is very tacky!
I’m with most of the people here- I say give whatever you might normally give for a non-relative HS graduation. I know that customs vary from group to group, but the whole thing seems really tacky to me. The wording on the e-vite mimicking the announcement by parents of a bride or groom is just very weird. Like many here, the graduation parties my kids went to were more to celebrate everyone as a whole and gifts were not normally given. We probably run with the wrong crowd (or actually the right one) that we didn’t have to deal with anything like this. I say, go, have fun, dress in nice but not formal clothing, and give whatever you are comfortable with.
D and S gave and received very few grad gifts beyond token amounts of $5-10. Only close friends or relatives gave $50-100, and the parties were very nice with catered food.
How about giving $20.15?
I like the $20.15 gift idea. Very cute! Also like the idea of gift in a bag. 
Come to think of it , my kids went to graduation parties where gifts were not even in the picture. It would make no sense for all the classmates to give each other gifts. The thought makes me shudder.
The $20.15 idea is cute. It is nice to come here and get different views on topics. Maybe there maybe some innovative ideas on pinterest or maybe a nice note on a card. How about taking flowers?
I’d write a check rather than give a gift card. And not sign the check, so that the graduate will be forced to send a thank you note.
Okay, I must be totally clueless. It never occurred to me that “no boxed gifts” meant ‘checks only.’ I assumed it meant that gifts should be sent to the house before the event (like you would for a wedding) instead of brought to the banquet hall or, failing that, they were hoping not to get those boxed things – those wallets, nail kits, and handkerchiefs – that you find on the store shelves around the holidays. I couldn’t figure out why parents would allow their child to send such an invitation, so naturally the real intent escaped me.
We generally write checks for graduations (after consulting our own checkbooks, not the opinions of the neighbors) and include a personal token and/or handwritten note for the student if we know them really well. Some cards we send but others we take to the party; it depends on the custom of the family throwing the party.
As for telling people how to dress, I don’t know what to make of that either. It’s not that difficult to set a formal tone. Send a formal paper invitation, address your guests formally, and give them credit for understanding how to dress for the occasion.
At this rate, I suppose I’d be relieved not to have to pay a fee for admission.
My theory is that rudeness is invisible. Therefore, of course, the phrase “no boxed gifts” must have been invisible, and thus you could not have read it. As a result, with respect to a gift, do whatever you would have done if that phrase hadn’t appeared.
HImom-I know someone from HI on another board, and she has said that graduations are a HUGE deal where she lives, that EVERYONE throws a huge party and all families who attend are supposed to give large checks or significant cash. This is so that the grad can start his/her life, whether it be to pay for moving to the mainland, getting an apartment, or helping to pay for college. Since EVERYONE does this, EVERYONE is expected to save for graduation season because they WILL be invited to almost EVERY party. These don’t seem to be people of means, which is why they have to save up for these parties. This seems odd and uncommon to me, but maybe it’s true. Have you ever heard of this kind of thing in your part of HI?
I can’t even imagine this in our community. We gave relatives $100 when they graduated, the kids’ good friends $50-$100, and acquaintances $25. I think it is rude to ask for no boxed gifts. One of D’s dear friend’s parents gave her a beautiful framed photo of the two together. It was one of her favorite gifts. A gift is a gift. A request for cash or a check is rude. JMHO
Having googled the phrase–as I note someone else did as well–it seems that this language is often used for weddings in the Indian and Pakistani communities. http://thebridaldiaries.com/2011/04/18/the-no-boxed-gifts-explanation/ and http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=no+boxed+gifts
So if the graduate is from one of those cultures, I’d cut the family some slack.
The invite was sent from the parents. I think depending on social circles some events are celebrated elaborately and some are not. In some cultures we do a gift registry in others cash is expected. What is the norm for one group may seem out of place in another circle of friends.
You should have no qualms about giving a card only and wearing something you already own.
Yes, HS graduations are big in HI and involve catered food and often a check for the grad from close friends and family, $50-100. Friends and classmates give each other gifts of maybe $10 or so. We only had close family and friends at our kids HS grad parties, and it worked out fine for us.