High School yearbooks and questionable content

latetoschool · September 1, 2006, 5:57pm

CGM, have you sat down with, spoken to the girls directly? Asked them their intentions? Asked them their recommendations for future yearbooks? Asked them how they think pregnant teenagers should be portrayed in high school publications? Asked them to describe the cirumstances that led them to being presented in a yearbook in this manner? Asked them what impression they would most wish to offer to their classmates, younger siblings, and future students at this high school? Asked them to participate in proactive mentoring so that the next class doesn’t end up with so many pregnant members (assuming they agree that this is a desirable result)?

If you haven’t done those things, then, you do not have any way whatsoever at all to evaluate if my suggestion is meritorious. And if you’d read what I posted carefully, you would realize that my post wasn’t positioned to avoid “fallout” - you’d realize that these young ladies have 20+ years of “fallout” coming. You’d realize that my suggestion was intended to maybe give Berurah a very powerful course of permanent correction.

citygirlsmom · September 1, 2006, 6:15pm

If you give cute little quotes, you know what you are doing…

If the school or these girls had done anything like you suggested, my guess is Beruhah would have told us, I may not always agree with her, but I take her to be honest and fair and forthcoming

I get the impression, and this is the impression these girls gave, that they think it was cute…if that is not the impression they wanted to give, is that my fault, or anybody elses?

You do have great ideas, and yes, those girls should consider the conseqences of their actions, do something proactive so others don’t end uo in the same place

As for how they should be portrayed- like any other student, in their clubs, doing sports, singing in the choir, getting an award, but not glorified with a full spread with cutesy quotes talking about how swell it is to b pregnant in HS and how they love those little babies…

If it was MY D who was pregnant, i would have strongly suggested not posing with all the other teen mothers…I would have suggested she do what you are saying, I would do my best to urge adoption, and I would track down daddy, and have a nice little chat

Again, where are the sperm doners in all this, we are acting like these pregnancies happened by some sort of miracle, do not the males have any responisibity in this

That would be my letter to the editor…

sjmom2329 · September 1, 2006, 6:32pm

Latetoschool, you have my admiration and respect as a single mom. It’s not easy to raise children, and it has to be harder by yourself. Congratulations on doing such a fine job with your daughter.

The only thing is, do you recommend that path for others? I think that’s what this discussion is about. I have a sister who is a single mother. She’s a wonderful mom, and her daughter is just precious to me. But I will always worry about this child, and my husband and I (and other siblings) have an active role in her life. My sister was in her late 30’s when her daughter was born, which is quite different from having a child in HS. I can imagine that some of this discussion is difficult for you – but it’s not about ALL single moms, just about the idea that HS is not the place to advocate for it as a reasonable option.

citygirlsmom · September 1, 2006, 6:36pm

I am not a mean person, but there is something to be said for tact, and realizing, you know this is not the greatest thing that I got knocked up in HS, I shouldnt go out of my way to make it all cute and flaunt it for all time

These babies being made on average will have a rough time of it…most likely dad is not gonna be around, the girls will live at home, with (hoepfully) grandparents helping, we will be paying for a long time, the sex partners will most likely just move on, going to college or whatever, while these girls, if they are lucky, may be able to go to school, you will have grandparents who may have had other plans have to change their lives around, you will have kids with neither parent around much, or with a youn marriage that will most likely fail…and yet they felt it was just swell to all pose together like a sorority

If they cared about their babies and the fallout, and years to come, they should have shown more descretion… not hiding from the world, of course not, but having some grace and tact goes a long way

latetoschool · September 1, 2006, 6:56pm

Sjmom, it’s not my place to recommend who should and who should not have a child, or what their marital position or age should be when they do, and, in any case, my post isn’t about me.

I totally agree that HS is not the appropriate place to advocate pregnancy outside of marriage. My point is that I’m seeing there are op ed pieces about these expectant mothers; there’s hour long conversations with school board officials about them; there’s lots and lots of discussions and emails and now even a 100+ post thread all about them; there’s even discussions with other students about them - in other words, a very sizable attempt to bring about very legitimate, necessary change by going over, around, under, these expectant mothers - but - I’m not seeing even one attempt to actually talk TO them. I could’ve missed it, but - has anyone tried to sit down and talk to them?

After all, they ARE members of the community, although they may be members that perhaps everyone wishes would just disappear. Sometimes the very strongest advocates for permanent change and productive redirection can be the very people who ignited the problem in the first place. Perhaps these very HS students could ultimately be Berurah’s strongest advocates.

I could be totally wrong - in fact - I’d be willing to say the chances are maybe better than 90% that I’m completely wrong, out in fantasy land - perhaps the girls, if asked, would present a very obnoxious, unproductive, uncooperative opposition. But how does anyone know, if no one has even made one small attempt to actually talk to the girls themselves? Isn’t it worth it to at least try?

As an aside, and not central to Berurah’s very legitimate concern, I do know you mean well, and that your heart is in the right place re your concern for your sister, and her child. But your concern, your worrying - while on the one hand, on one level, I am certain your sister is grateful for the support you give her, on another level, it is actually very demeaning. I do completely realize that is not what you intend, but, that is my perception, and, it is also shared by nearly everyone in my socioeconomic group. The last thing I want to do is hijack this thread - so - I’ll leave it there.

latetoschool · September 1, 2006, 7:07pm

CGM, obviously I’m expressing myself poorly. Let’s start with the premise that not one person here - me included - believes high school pregnancy should be glamorized or promoted in any way, let alone in a high school yearbook.

The girls - mothers to be - students - whatever you want to call them - got pregnant, and posed for pictures. But somewhere along the way - someone pointed a camera. Someone developed film. Someone did screen layouts. Someone overlayed quotes. Someone approved the final markup. Someone sent the stuff to a printer.

Now, I don’t know about you, but, these girls strike me as being easily led. Easily manipulated. Desperate for acceptance. Totally misguided. I cannot imagine that it even occured to them at all what they were really lending their images to support. And Berurah has tried every logical step that might occur to anyone to try to correct this, and, it isn’t working. Therefore, it seems to me that Berurah’s strongest possible position might be to engage the girls themselves. TALK to them. Not over them, around them, under them, about them, but TO them.

What’s there to lose?

berurah · September 1, 2006, 7:35pm

sj~

I may not need to post on this thread anymore seeing as how you ALWAYS seem to express EXACTLY what I was going to had I gotten here first!!! lololol We think amazingly alike on many issues!

latetoschool~

There is NO ONE on this forum whom I respect more than I do you. I am the first to admit that there is NO WAY I could have been as wildly successful coming from your challenging circumstances as you have been. To me, you are TRULY an astonishment, as is your daughter, and I have NOTHING but the utmost respect for you both.

I also see how your own personal life experiences have shaped your attitudes and ideas, and I would never assert that you were “wrong” in any of your beliefs. But, I think the evidence is IRREFUTABLE that for the VAST MAJORITY of young people who end up pregnant, life does not turn out as yours has. Statistics repeatedly bear this out. The same can be true for any type of behavior. For example, there are many, many teens who partake in heavy drinking and not ALL of them end up dead in automobile accidents and alcohol poisonings and fires. But some do, and those deaths are entirely preventable, so we discourage that risky behavior.

Having a baby as an unmarried teen carries significant risks for both mother and baby, and the negative impacts sprial out to others in the community and compound in the succeeding years. Under NO conditions can I see this as an O.K. or desirable thing, and statistics support my view. That you made good…no, made GREAT…is fabulous and astounding, but it is by FAR the exception, and we as a society cannot afford to see this cycle continue to spin out of control.

The school district, as an entity which exists for the goal of academic and social development has, IMHO, NO PLACE promoting this type of behavior that can have such negative repercussions. What I think that some people fail to realize is that many of these girls are seeking ATTENTION, and it really doesn’t matter whether that attention is POSITIVE or NEGATIVE. There are MANY, MANY people who THRIVE on negative attention (witness the recent confession in the Jon Benet case). So, even if the school district thinks it is presenting teen pregnancy fairly or even as a significant challenge, to some of these teens who come from dysfunctional homes with little hope for a future (in THEIR MINDS), it is still ATTENTION, which is more than they get at home. Can you see what I mean? In our school, the young teachers coddle these girls and give them MUCH more individual attention than any of the academically motivated kids get. It seems somehow backward to me…sigh

There was actually a really interesting teen birth lately, which kind of proves my point. My oldest daughter went all the way through elementary school with a girl who was the child of an unmarried teen mother (her mother had her at 17, I think). Remarkably, and against all statistics, the dad stayed with the mom, they married, and by the time my daughter came to know her in school, they seemed like a perfectly “normal” family which had gotten started in a typical way…four kids, a home, mom at home, etc. And the mom was very active in the schools, volunteering, working with the PTO, etc. Even the dad participated regularly.

Over the years, my daughter was friendly with the little girl on and off, and during those times, the little girl, even at a VERY young age (like second grade), would constantly remind my daugher that her mother was “the youngest mother in the class.” And true enough…she WAS. lol This went on for YEARS, and we were all pretty amused by the whole thing, but for whatever reason, this seemed to be a HUGE bragging point.

GUESS WHO ended up pregnant at sixteen? YEP. This little girl…because despite all of the normalcy of the family, the message was sent over and over and over again that it was somehow “cool” to be a teen mother…or admirable…or whatever. This, from a family that was in a VERY unique position to BREAK THAT CYCLE as it had beat EVERY SINGLE ODD.

So, to ME, to call attention to this, even in a NEGATIVE fashion, is a mistake. After all, the vast majority of pregnant teen girls at our school are NOT fast trackers…they are the ones who give priority to partying, drinking, doping, and those sorts of things, as evidenced by their own entries on the blogs that they keep.

Frankly, I am not particularly interested in engaging in a dialogue with these girls as I have a VERY different view of adult/child relationships than many other adults. I am completely AUTHORITATIVE on some issues, not all of course, but on this particular subject, I’m not half as interested in hearing their views as in spouting mine!! lol To me, this is simply not a negotiable issue and there is not much they could say to me to convince me that ANY featuring of this subject in a school newspaper or yearbook is a good idea, unless they want the adjacent page to contain birth control information and info. on where to seek treatment for sexually transmitted diseases, none of which the superintendent seemed open to considering… ;)

BUT…I REALLY do appreciate your input and perspective, and as I said above, I have nothing but respect for you and for your beautiful and talented daughter.

~berurah

berurah · September 1, 2006, 7:45pm

Actually, my piece was NOT directed toward these girls whatsoever. I directed it SOLELY toward the school administration of our district, which I felt was lax in its supervisory role regarding the content of the school newspaper and the yearbook. I don’t have half the issue with teen pregnancy itself that I have with the FEATURING of it in school publications. A slight, but significant difference. Of course I’m not IN FAVOR of teen pregnancy and have talked to my own kids extensively about my expectations for THEM, but I am not the authority over the girls who HAVE chosen (or happened into) this state. I am, however, a patron of a school district and as such, should have SOME say with regard to the district’s policy of HANDLING this in the schools.

~berurah

latetoschool · September 1, 2006, 7:49pm

Berurah - you’re clearly a leader in your community, and undisputably in your household. That’s incontrovertible. Why not be a leader, on this issue, too?

This isn’t a traffic signal at a major intersection you’re trying to lobby the town bosses to fix, or an unsightly building that needs to be torn down, or some other inanimate object that requires some local law be passed to address.

These are PEOPLE. Specifically, YOUR people, your fellow human beings, in your community, who are about to become the very first leaders and caregivers to some more, brand new people. They’re NOT subhuman; they’re not objects.

Why not talk to them? What are you afraid of? What do you have to lose? I think your suggestion about a page on birth control, etc. is excellent. I bet you can think of a dozen more equally excellent strategies. And how much more powerful do you think that message would be if it came from the girls themselves, standing beside you?

If you haven’t even talked to them, how do you know that they don’t SHARE your viewpoint, but, they simply lack the leadership, guidance, and mentoring to help express it publicly? After all, we’re talking about girls who have a teacher/yearbook editor who pointed the camera, approved the printing, and in the aftermath is unreceptive to discussion.

What’s the worst that could happen if you approach them for a conversation? They’ll refuse? If so, then, your position becomes even stronger. In fact, your position gains credibility and strength if they sit down with you - or if they don’t. Either way, you win. But if you talk to them, and they add their voice to yours, EVERYONE wins.

sjmom2329 · September 1, 2006, 8:02pm

Latetoschool, what do you think that Berurah should be talking about with these girls? It’s a little late to talk about birth control, and I assume from the yearbook pages that these girls are receiving support to stay in school.

As far as my sister goes, she is quite affluent and well-educated. I’m sure she doesn’t feel defensive about our involvment with our niece. She also knows that I think it is optimal for a child to have two loving parents, since we’ve discussed our views on this issue. Once she had her daughter, however, I was determined to do all that I could to help her in any way that I could.

This point could take us way off topic, so I won’t pursue it other than to say the options available to a professional, affluent, well-educated woman are different from those of a HS girl.

latetoschool · September 1, 2006, 8:19pm

Sjmom - if I were Berurah - and especially given the results of her attempts with the superintendent, etc. - here is what I think I would do: If they’re underage, I would call the girl’s parents, and ask for, and arrange, a group meeting.

If they refuse, game over. This result is rather empowering because then Berurah can openly state to everyone that she even tried to communicate directly with the girls themselves to seek their input and counsel, and to include their voices in the issue; she can correctly state that they’re so immature they wouldn’t even come to the table for a conversation.

If they accept, I’d walk in, and I’d tell them point blank EXACTLY what my concerns were, and why. Then, I’d ask for their help in addressing the issue with the school board, and in forming leadership advocacy in opposition to teen pregnancy. I’d ask for their ideas, and their positive, productive actions towards change, in whatever form that takes. Most of all, I’d ask them how those pictures ended up in the yearbook - because I’d be curious to understand if that was their true intention, or, was it a matter that somehow worked its way out of hand because an ADULT who should have known better pointed a camera and got carried away. (Were these girls exploited???) Whatever is discovered here could be very interesting.

But let’s suppose (and this is very likely) that even if they accept such a meeting, they are completely opposed to Berurah’s point of view, and the meeting ends on a negative note.

At least Berurah will have tried, and she will be able to say so publicly. At least she will have treated them like people - which is a LOT different than how they’ve been treated by the person who pointed the camera at them in the first place.

But let’s suppose - against all odds and assumptions - that the girls - and their parents - actually AGREE with Berurah (not to mention the rest of the rational, sane community), and commit to helping support a message to work against glamorizing teenage pregnancy, publishing it in yearbooks, etc. That’s a very powerful, if difficult-to-achieve result, if anyone has a chance of pulling it off and making it happen, Berurah’s that person.

In my opinion, any of these three outcomes positions Berurah in far more powerful position than the one she’s in right now; by evidence of the posts in this thread, her efforts, though commendable, aren’t working. (Never, ever confuse intent with effort, or effort with results.)

sjmom2329 · September 1, 2006, 8:44pm

Good ideas, LTS.

berurah · September 1, 2006, 8:55pm

LTS~

I hear you, I DO, and once again, I very much appreciate your perspective and input on this matter. I do think, though, that the picture is not as clear to you as it is to me because I live in this community and have observed the kinds of girls who are ending up pregnant, have read their blogs (at the urging of my D’s), and have gotten a pretty comprehensive view of what is going on here.

The girls who are getting pregnant in our school are typically from lesser-involved and/or dysfunctional families. Their parents are NOT the type of people who would be willing to meet with me on this issue (and frankly, I wouldn’t be receptive to this type of thing either, if someone challenged my “performance” as a parent by calling into question the behavior of my children–I’d consider it an intrusion of the highest order and would be GREATLY offended). What you suggest is, in theory, a great and noble thing, but in reality, it just wouldn’t fly. IMHO, if these parents were concerned to begin with, many of their D’s would not have ended up pregnant (and that is NOT to say that this cannot happen to a seriously motivated, great girl and student with high aspirations, but so far, there have been NONE of those at our school).

I don’t feel a particular obligation to reach out to these girls or these families. I can tell you this: these girls are receiving immense support at school (even going so far as homebound education and personal tutors in the latter weeks of pregnancy and in the postpartum period). They are CLEARLY not discriminated against–to the contrary, they are “celebrated” in their own little way by those who constantly admire their “cute bellies,” their sonogram pics, etc. They spend school time talking at length with sympathetic teachers (who are, BTW, taking away from instruction time to do this in many instances), and they plan baby showers while at school. To me, all of this is REINFORCING a negative. There is a BIG difference between nondiscrimination and educational support and “celebrating” what is, in the majority of cases, a rather sad and negative event with a ripple effect for many years to come.

There are many people in our community who like to reach out to these kinds of kids and coddle them. I am not one of those. That said, however, I have UNGODLY numbers of kids I mentor “unofficially” on many, many levels. Right now, my project is helping both my son’s gf and my daughter’s bf gain entrance to a good college with as much finaid as possible. Neither of their families has a college educated parent, but both are amazing kids who’ve managed to sustain academic motivation and excellent personal conduct at school…they just need someone to show them the college ropes.

I also have a good number of friends of my kids who come to me for support, advice, and encouragement, and I am ALWAYS willing to give it. The difference between these kids and the pregnant girls is simply this: these kids have ASKED for my advice and realize that even though I may have different views than they do, there is something to respect here, and they are at least willing to LISTEN to someone as an AUTHORITY figure and not just as a “friend.”

I actually think that with regard to the yearbook dealio, I am in a more powerful position than you might think for several reasons:

More than anything, our district HATES bad PR as the city council members and developers/realtors hop all over them for it. Our little town has ALWAYS been sold as a mecca for GREAT public schools.
There have been TWO public letters about this and one about an unrelated school district issue in the past 10 days. I think they’re listenin’ now…
I have been in this district for 15 straight years now and am pretty well known and generally respected by the administrators. And I am tenacious, though I have let many issues slide by me out of choice
From the feedback I’ve received, there is a great deal of support out there for my position, which seems to be shared by many, both students AND adults in the community. I simply have to consolidate it.

As I’ve said, if this doesn’t change, so be it. Truthfully, I think the chance is pretty good that I am fighting a losing battle…BUT…
I think SOMEONE needs to stand up and say, “Let’s get this school district back on track to celebrate and highlight POSITIVE happenings/events.” And I may as well be the one to try. Even if I fail, I will still feel successful.

And on an end note, NO ONE, including me, is treating these kids as “objects” of ANY sort. That I don’t happen to think that they (or ANY teenager, including my OWN four teenagers) are my “equal” with regard to decision-making does NOT relegate them to object status.

~berurah

jazzymom · September 1, 2006, 10:11pm

B:
A few quick thoughts on the yearbook issue.

<pre><code>First, I would advise against trying to talk to these girls, calling their homes, etc. With your views already known publicly, it would come across as obsessive, a little weird, I think, that you tracked down their phone numbers and addresses and now wanted to interview them. I would also advise against escalating your mission in public, ie. in the newspaper or at a school board meeting, which I assume is either televised or covered by a local newspaper. Instead, urge as many equally concerned parents and dismayed students to write letters privately to the principal, the assistant principal for activities, and to the teacher who is the yearbook advisor to express their objections to this particular page in the yearbook. Thoughts expressed in writing are much harder to misconstrue. You don’t want to be seen as “attacking” these girls just for having their pictures in the yearbook.

It’s important that all involved understand that your argument is not to denigrate the pregnant girls or to imply that a picture of them in the yearbook doing things with other students — sitting at lunch, attending a game, participating in clubs or class — is objectionable. If their photos are included as though they were any other student going about their business on campus, that is not the same thing as a featured group shoot of happily pregnant teens posing for a special page in the yearbook. A letter-writing campaign aimed at the decision-makers at the HS can put the focus where it belongs: on the poor judgement of the yearbook staff and it’s advisor rather than on the girls who were in the picture. The letters can also point out what was left out of the yearbook so this page could go in: legitimate student achievements or club awards that were completely ignored. I’m sure you can find some examples of that. If you really want to call in the big guns, have someone you know on the chamber of commerce, the rotary, or the local realtors’ association, write a similar private letter. That will get the attention of small town school district officials like nothing else.
</code></pre>

ariesathena · September 2, 2006, 12:34am

I hear you, as the child of divorced parents. My dad has raised me since I was three. You can only imagine the subtle stigma that goes with that… not just single parents, but being a girl and being raised by my dad. Yeah, I hear you. My family law class, in some ways, was an exercise in hearing that I should be an alcoholic high-school dropout.

Obviously, that didn’t happen. But what did happen is that my father FOUGHT to give my sister & I the life that he had growing up - stable family, college, sports, home-cooked meals every night. NOT easy when you’re working 60 hours a week, but he did it. Every step of the way, there was the strong expectation that I would work hard, get good grades, be an athlete, and go to the best college that I could get into. I’m very independent and was raised that way - never had things done for me but was always told, “What do you need to do and what can’t you do on your own?”

It’s not rocket science to figure out why I turned out better than the kids of parents who were married but didn’t care about them.

I just cannot envision ANY way in which 16-year-old girls are equipped to do this. I can only hope that they have the guts to give their babies up for adoption to families who are actually adults themselves, not kids raising kids.

latetoschool · September 2, 2006, 5:51am

“…the kind of girls…”…“the type of people…” - exactly what “kind of girls” and “type of people” are they, and their parents, Berurah?

berurah · September 2, 2006, 10:05am

They are the kinds of girls who have decided to make high school about partying, drinking and sex, and their parents are the kind of people who do not take issue with that. Nearly every one of the pregnant girls keeps a xanga that is in the “circle” of our high school, and their attitudes, behavior, language, and emphases are quite well-documented. I think I explained this above. I also said that even I would NEVER be receptive to discussing MY parenting attitudes and choices with anyone else. Frankly, they are no one’s business but mine and my husband’s…My choices are mine, and theirs are theirs. To each his own.

LTS, it is not my place to open a dialogue with these people and even if it were, I have no desire to do so. I typically mind my own business. I take NO issue whatsoever with what others choose to do with their lives, AS LONG AS IT DOESN’T IMPACT ME OR MY FAMILY. My issue IS NOT and NEVER WAS with these girls and their choices to have sex/get pregnant/have a baby. My issue IS NOW and ALWAYS WAS with a school admiinistration that deemed such behavior noteworthy and fit for feature in a SCHOOL yearbook that is a keepsake for MY kids and a publication that is supposed to reflect this school, this district, and by extension, this community.

I’ve never heard anyone pick apart my characterization of my son as a highly accomplished fast tracker with big dreams or my daughter as a more laid back and less motivated kid who has NO idea what she wants to do with her life. I CAN generalize from the information available to me and from my own observations. My perceptions may not be true, but they are MY perceptions, and pretty well supported, IMHO.

~berurah

cptofthehouse · September 2, 2006, 10:16am

In any of the schools around here, I have not heard a thing about pregnant girls. I’m sure it happens, but it is discretely taken care of. However, some years ago, a school made national new with its yearbook.One of the top highschools in the country (from that widely used list that Jay Matthews publisized) had a section of “Being from School X means…”, completed by some horribly elitist, snobbish remarks that put down some other schools, neighborhoods, types of people. It made one of the national magazines, and the yearbook has been tightly censored since then after a year of some punitive measures. Some of the parents, residents, etc thought that the remarks were funny despite a tinge of racism, ethnic slurs and certain socio-economic insensitivities, to put it very diplomatically. And this is from an area that considers themselves socially progressive.
When you live in an area where teen pregnancies are prevalent, and the attitude that this is Ok prevails, you’re going to have a rough time with a campaign to put this situation into your perspective. There has been an active movement in certain areas where teen pregnancies and parenthood is a major issue, to encourage these kids to continue school, remove the stigma, get the help and education despit taking this path. That attitude is bound to be reflected in the yearbook. Trying to eradicat that inclusion is not realistic in a community of that sort, with a mindset like that. A private visit to the yearbook sponsor, suggesting that perhaps some message should be included in the coverage, via quotes from some of these moms and moms to be, about the hardships of the situation, the realities of parenthood at that age may be in order. 
I was horrified a number of years ago when my youngest brothers yearbook contained superlatives and clubs on a racially segregated basis, many years after segregation had become a no-no. It was over the top for me. But that was how the kids and community there wanted it. That same school made national news just a few years ago when someone got wind of the black/white proms. (and I don’t mean attire) My husband’s highsschool just recently started holding racially integrated reunions, and only after some highly charged discussions and with a great deal of trepidation on the part of both races. 
As for tatoos, piercings, wierd dress, fashions…that has been going on for years,and my feeling is that it brings the flavor of the times into the yearbooks. Some of those kids are going to feel sheepish about those styles 20-30 years later when their kids look at their yearbooks. Just as when our kids look at our yearbooks.
As an aside, I was a yearbook editor, and I can tell you censoring and catching some of the stuff is not easy. In my issue, I have a porn book included in a stack of books that made a candid shot, a middle finger extended that is so obvious when you notice it, and some other inappropriate stuff that only those in the know can see. I know this because I went to my many years reunion where the yearbook was featured, and found out most of the kids had no idea. When I played “where’s Waldo” on a few other issues, I found some other goodies , making me relieved that I wasn’t the first idiot editor.

backhandgrip · September 2, 2006, 11:06am

I am so sorry Berurah you had so much disappointment with the yearbook. I know you are such an open minded person, but can see how this expereince may bewilder you.

My particular feeling on H.S. yearbooks is that their content is more or less dictated by the yearbook staff of any particular year. I’m sure these kids were trying to be inclusive to everyone. Perhaps the staff was of a liberally oriented nature this year or harboring some adolescent rebellion or making a statement of some kind to h.s. cliques or those not included. Whatever the reason, it is over and time to move on. Put the book where it belongs and let it gather dust. Good for you for expressing your opinion, whatever it may be!

Princedog · September 2, 2006, 11:18am

This is unusual where you are from? In some of the wealthiest suburbs with the best education systems, this is not highly unusual behavior for high schoolers and probably never has been. I just read that book “The Notebook Girls” which a reproduction of a notebook four girls from Stuyvesant HS kept. Rampant drinking, drug use, inappropriate behavior…these were the “smart kids” who are now at great colleges. I was horrified, I mean they did no editing to say “This story here might not have been a time when I made good choices” when their main audience is going to be 12-15 yr old girls probably (it was my little sister’s book). It was all about this behavior and rationalization for it. The parents are clueless, and most of parents of high schoolers, no matter what they think, are clueless too. There are a lot of high schoolers out there everyday getting lucky that their actions won’t have lifelong repercussions, and on the other hand, some getting unlucky. A lot of it IMO is slight immaturity and thinking these things make them “adults” (I think you’ll notice some of the behavior can ease towards senior year), also the peer pressure. I am not in a group that would do things like that so it just never comes up, it never came up, and at this point frankly you know so many stories that you know everything is just a stupid idea anyway. If any kid from any home falls into the wrong crowd and is of a certain personality, chances are good they will indulge in some or all of the activities above.

High School yearbooks and questionable content

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