I think this approach is confusing for the OP. If someone said they wanted a Ferrari, and you said you could make the math work so they could have a Ferrari, but they’d have to live on the street for a year panhandling for food, you probably wouldn’t give that advice.
This example is not that out of line. Private UG, Dent School, and Residency will start the OP in a hole over $1M deep. That has HUGE implications. They will underfund their retirement and be unable to open their own practice.
Maybe if we take that approach, we should do it with a huge caveat, something like “sure you could get into school X, but here’s why you don’t even want to apply.”
I think the OP can have all 3. That’s the holy grail. Truman is a perfect example. A few posters have missed a salient point, that she doesn’t want a big school, but I don’t see anyone overtly saying fit is unimportant.