<p>@Chocchip - it sounds like there is some truth in that. The two most turbulent periods of my life have been the years from 23-25 and from 49 - 51 (now), and a lot of my friends are struggling too.</p>
<p>Lots of good advice here and glad to know I’m not alone. I did recently start a new job after the company I had worked for closed - and I had been with them for the majority of the past 13 yers, so I think that has been a big adjustment. And I know I don’t handle change well. Feeling better today after being very upset last night.</p>
<p>I think the comments about goals and projects are on target. I have a lot of free time and need to find something I can reaaly feel passionate about.</p>
<p>Big changes in life can bring on big reactions. Accept that, and be nice to yourself. It won’t solve any major problems, but a hot bath, with a glass of wine (or a big serving of ice cream) can help, at least temporarily. </p>
<p>And about the empty-nest thing: I also reacted in a big way the SECOND year my daughter was in college. The first year it was all so exciting and new, and she was so happy. The second year, when it became clear how much she was engaged in that new, faraway life of hers, how much she wanted to get BACK to it during her visits home… that’s when it hit me hard. So you’re not alone in having a perhaps delayed reaction.</p>
<p>chocchip - I wanted to add about the weight loss. I’ve been trying to lose weight for years. This year, it just seemed easier, which I know is unexpected at this age. I eliminated my worst habit - which was lots of eating between 8pm and bedtime. Very hard the first few nights and then it was ok. I’ve actually kind of lost my appetite to an extent in recent weeks, not sure why exactly. I think the empty nest means less food in the house and I’ve sort of lost some interest in eating. Not completely, I try to eat 3 small healthy meals a day, but somehow I have lost my “food addict” behaviors.</p>
<p>^^ well, then forget my ice-cream-in-the-bathtub advice, rockville mom :))</p>
<p>Rockvillemom just wanted to say that if you are feeling better and happy disregard the loss of appetite, however if you still are feeling sad, or feeling the blues, this loss of appetite can signal something more serious like depression. Please if that is the case do not disregard the symptoms. Get yourself checked.</p>
<p>And I was going to say you could come up to Bel Air and have lunch with me.</p>
<p>Actually, MD Mom: that’s the best advice. RVM: I suggest getting together with girlfriends more on a regular basis. I have a few different girlfriend groups to do things with and I notice I feel better after getting together & laughing with them!</p>
<p>One group gets together infrequently, mainly for dinners. The second group is more regular and we have lunch together once every month or two. In addition, on a very rare occasion, the 4 of us take off for half a Saturday to go shopping together! Or one or two of us go to see a movie! It helps to laugh with girlfriends who all can understand what the other is going through. I highly recommend that! :)</p>
<p>Nothing to add. To parrot another campaign, it gets better and I hope it does. It sounds like you have some major stressors going on: empty nest, new job are two of the major ones (along with birth, death of family members and moving to a new place).</p>
<p>I’m 52 but my life is a bit different - I’m post menopausal with children at home (for the next 8 years - ah, late motherhood). The only thing I can say is the hormone fluctuation that comes with peri-menopause wreaks havoc with moods and emotions. So I second the physical checkup.</p>
<p>Well, Rockvillemom, on the advice of chocchipcookie, come on up to Harford County.</p>
<p>Peri-menopause is the worst. People go on and on about menopause - I’ve been much calmer and less emotional since “the change.” It was the 5-7 years leading up to it that were hell.</p>
<p>{{ hugs }}</p>
<p>It probably is hormones. 
</p>
<p>I’m a few years older and don’t have menopause signs either, but I cry very easily now…movies, commercials (oh those animal humane society ads or the St Jude’s Hospital ads!), sad stories, military stories, you name it. </p>
<p>{{ hugs }}</p>
<p>Bio-identical hormones. They are so awesome!!</p>
<p>I felt pretty crummy a few years ago (about 48), just tired, unmotivated, gaining weight, mildly depressed, blah. My usual temperament is upbeat, always, no matter what, for my entire life, so this was completely wrong. Overly stressed for no good reason, lack of confidence, slight anxiety.</p>
<p>My regular MD isn’t a believer in bio-identicals, she thinks it’s all mumbo-jumbo garbage. My specialist tested me, and I was not even measurable for certain hormones, which is normal for age…but who wants to be normal? She is giving me enough of each deficient hormone to put me in the “optimal level if I was age 30.” I feel back to normal, so much better, lost 8 pounds without any lifestyle change, and will probably not even notice it when I go through menopause. Why suffer? It very well may be physical, not mental. </p>
<p>My sister was feeling the same way, but so much worse. She didn’t even want to leave the house to go to Walmart, because someone might see her and want to talk to her. What? She got similar treatment, and is now exercising two hours a day, feels great, and is happy as can be. In fact, the hormone adjustment made her low thyroid go up to normal, so when she took the thyroid medication, it made her hyper-thyroid, so they had to readjust. You also may not be getting the right thyroid meds, because they screw that one up often. And don’t thyroid meds lower your iron level?</p>
<p>Vitamin D, get tested, if you’re low, take a decent dose (at least 2K, talk to your doctor) to get it up. You don’t have to feel this way, investigate it. And yes, find fun things to do that you love.</p>
<p>I’m sorry to hear this. Take care of yourself. I’m sure there are lots of suggestions and all but maybe you sould talk to your doctor.</p>
<p>Very interesting info on the issue of hormone levels and vitamin levels. I actually had blood work done recently and am overdue to discuss results with doctor. I’m going to hop on that.</p>
<p>I do think peri- menopause may explain a lot. I’m not sleeping that well and the feeling of being so close to tears most of the time is very unlike my normal self.</p>
<p>But I did go out for a great dinner wth hubby tonight and enjoyed myself, so there is hope!</p>
<p>rockvillemom, very glad you had a great time tonight! But…I think sleep would be the very first thing I would address, if I were you. Sleep is everything, without it, the world is gray, everything is worse, you just can’t function normally. It is particularly important to me because the average age of death of people in my occupation (at my specific company) is in the lower sixties, and we think a large part of that is sleep deprivation related. </p>
<p>There are some things that I post that I want to say, these are foot stompers, these are important life-changing things…please listen. But it seems very rare that you can tell people things that they will really pay attention to, so I kind of give up. But yeah, this one is a foot stomper, and in my case, it might be life itself. We have lost so many people at my company, so young, and it depresses the daylights out of me. So I truly believe that sleep is critical.</p>
<p>As we get older, our bodies produce less melatonin and it is very hard to go to sleep, and stay that way all night. It is normal to wake up in the middle of the night and not get back to sleep as you age…but absolutely not desirable. If you are ruling out the obvious things like too much to drink, or coffee or sugar too late, consider trying melatonin supplements. It is the natural way to put back into your body what you are missing.</p>
<p>Are you sleeping well, for many hours, restful sleep and through the night? As it sounds like you’re not, you should definitely consider melatonin, but you really need to know how to use it correctly. You may know this already, but if you haven’t used it before, you have to titrate yourself to find the exact amount that you need. Everyone is different.</p>
<p>First, get a melatonin pill in 1 mg increments that is pure, not loaded with a bunch of who knows what. Start out the first night taking 1 mg. Do that for three nights in a row. It probably will do nothing for you, but some people get crazy wild dreams just on 1 mg, and if you do…melatonin is not for you. After three nights, raise it to 2 mg, take that for three nights and see how it works. Keep raising the dose until it gets the desired effect.</p>
<p>The goal is to have restful sleep, wake up well rested, dream…but not crazy, too intense dreams. You only take enough melatonin to get the desired effect. Personally, I need 2 mg. Three is just a little too much, but if I need a serious night of sleep, I might take that. The great thing is if I wake up in the middle of the night, I go right back to sleep, instead of tossing and turning. It takes about an hour to take effect, and you really should have a good 7-8 hours to sleep or you might feel kind of groggy. I don’t take it when I have to wake up in 5-6 hours.</p>
<p>If you haven’t tried it (or done it correctly) try it. See how much better you feel when you sleep through the night!</p>
<p>Of course there is hope! This s just a temporary bump on the road. Just make sure you find out the best treatment for you. All the advice given here: exercise, going out with friends and vitamins, are all great ways to boost endorphins and serotonin levels. Good luck and feel better.</p>
<p>Took some of the great advice offered here and went for a long (90 minute) walk with a friend earlier today. Gorgeous day - just being outside felt great. I think I have been spending too much of my free time alone and inside lately. Still adjusting to the empty nest. I always wanted to have more free time, but now that I have it, I can’t honestly say I’m doing much with it. So, that’s a new goal - finding more fun/social activities for the weekends.</p>
<p>RVM:</p>
<p>My H is a bit of a pack rat…how’d ja like to come up to New England and help clean out cabinets, drawers, bookshelves & closets and our basement? I bet that idea will keep you busy with more fun things!!! :D</p>
<p>I have to admit that I often feel a bit blue about my life in general … I am almost 54, I earn a decent salary but far less than so many of my friends, together H & I earn less than most of our friends from college (best friend just bought a 9000 sq ft retirement home …), we are spending a bunch of money to renovate the kitchen in our blah house we’ve lived in 27 years (we saved just to do update for this room), and I just sometimes feel like I never amounted to much. Yes, my logical mind knows the deal: I have more than most, I have contributed to the world through the work I do, I like my job, I have an amazing H and kids, etc, etc. Yet, I still feel “less than” from time to time. I don’t think it’s unusual. I am not worried about it - I just let it pass - but I know that I feel better when I hear about others who are feeling middle-aged blues. Misery does love company, I guess.</p>