Try reframe that from “money wasted” to “Items donated to someone else who can use them”. It’s not that different from donating to a charity in your name. You just need to take it to the thrift store so someone else can be delighted at paying $0.50 or $1 for flip flops and sunglasses. For the cosmetics, look on Facebook for your local Buy Nothing group. The one in my area is very active and I have gotten rid of a lot of stuff (incl food) that could not go to the thrift store. I definitely would not have a talk with that person. Just smile and nod.
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How do you know my inlaws? lol
Just donate it. People who do this are a force of nature, and don’t let them live in your head rent-free. My kids used to avert their gaze when I opened gifts bc they were ridiculously i appropriate 7/10 times.
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My DH is the youngest by 7 years in his family. When we were first married he and his siblings exchanged gifts ( all brothers) and he received all sorts of thoughtless gifts. It was apparent his SIL’s were doing the buying. He, on the other hand, was still putting a lot of thought into the gifts he gave, providing gift receipts, etc. I finally suggested he stop the exchange and he did. Since then only young children in our extended received gifts. Once the nieces/nephews became adults we stopped. Has made our holidays so much better as the gifts are not the focus.
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DH and I both agree the only option that has any possibility of success is to have a conversation about not exchanging gifts in the future.
I’d frame that in the nicest, most positive way.
“DH and I having been reading that book on Swedish Death Cleaning (have you seen that?) and we are trying to reduce the amount of stuff already in our home, as well as trying to bring in as little as possible new stuff. I know we’ve always exchanged gifts, and I love how generous you’ve been to us, but the best gift you could possibly give us going forward is the gift of nothing.
We hope you understand where we are coming from, and will continue showing us the love and care you always have by supporting this change and not buying us gifts for birthdays, Christmas, etc. We love you guys so much!”
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I would just assume that the fits will be bad and have no expectations.
Then I would start a bet with your husband as to who will get the most useless-gift-for-you this year. 
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LLBean is offering free shipping no minimum purchase now through 12-15. Wish I would have known that before I threw my $10 coupon away! (It didn’t seem worth it to use the coupon when shipping was going to be $8! )
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Who else is experienced MANY items being delayed or floating around the earth somewhere but not on your porch being delivered??? 
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Thankfully, my packages have been delivered. That said, confirmations have been chaotic and not even close to being timely! I got something from Bloomies, but the confirmation text came 2 (!!) days later. lol and wth?
We’ve had all kinds of different shipping problems this year.
We had two packages misdelivered but thankfully they were at a neighbors house so easily retrievable.
I had an order never show up at the end of last month. The tracking had it going back and forth between two nearby towns and then suddenly disappear to say “package never received”. The company re-shipped it.
We had a company ship us a perishable product three weeks before requested (you could pick your delivery date). They also re-shipped it and it arrived when it was actually supposed to today.
My most irritating screw up though was the live orchid I ordered for a family member from Proflowers. Instead of coming from a local florist like they typically do, it came in a box delivered USP - it arrived upside down, partially crushed, with blooms falling off and totally water logged. Also being resent with a note to the shipper as to what happened. I don’t have high hopes for this second attempt because it’s still coming through the mail and not a florist. (I’ll never order with them again).
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I ordered gifts in early November for shipping this Monday. It’s Thursday, one shipped, the others have not.
I ordered from the same place last year, everything shipped on the same day, was delivered to everyone at the same time.
My amazon monthly delivery order came UPS, and USPS instead of Amazon.
Most are delayed, unlike years past. My gift to myself says December 26, which is fine 
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I received a leather bag last Saturday, but the confirmation information says it’s delayed and will be here this Friday.
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I have had at least one show up to someone else’s house, but I think everything I’ve ordered is now here - YAY!
Waiting on 2! I ordered 3 similar items for my grandkids on the 8th and expected delivery was yesterday, one came right away but the other 2 haven’t been shipped yet. I called to check yesterday and they said all is well but I am not confident.
Last year we had something delayed (a couch, so not a gift, but was this time of year). And when they contacted us about the delay it just said “will be a month late because of a delay due to Houthis.”
So now whenever my husband and I are smart alec-y refusing to do what the other wants, we say “can’t do it, Houthis”
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I’m irked. Yesterday there was very long line at post office so people indicated we could put items that were ready to be mailed on counter and leave. I did that and the package came back today because it wasn’t presented at the counter so I had to return and stand in long line at counter today, complete with someone with a very well behaved huge dog in the very slow-moving line. 45 minutes later, the employee confirmed I had correct postage, canceled all the stamps and added it to the mail pile. That’s 45 minutes I won’t get back.
Next time, I will use all the stamps except the last $1+ and then use their kiosk to buy that little bit so I can mail it. Or maybe at holiday time forget putting stamps on packages and just use kiosk and pay full amount for postage and then leave flat rate parcel on counter.
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Had a similar experience with the gift I ordered for SIL. I ordered 2 exotic philodendrons for him. (Partly as a joke, but also as a serious gift because he has sooooo many houseplants. I thought it was a clever gift for someone who doesn’t want “anything”. )
They were supposed to be shipped from SoCal to UT, but were actually shipped from….. Baltimore, MD (!) on the other side of the continent.
UPS picked the boxes up on Friday, and they were supposed to arrive in UT on Wednesday but didn’t show up until Saturday (as in 8 days post pick up) afternoon. Both plants arrived quite dead despite having “winter weather packaging” that I paid extra for.
UPS has been very slow this season on all sorts of deliveries. 7-10 days instead of the usual 3-4.
To get the plants replaced/refunded , the company wanted photos of the dead plants plus packaging. However, they didn‘t respond to my contacting them on Saturday until Tuesday. By then SIL had already dumped the mess into the trash can, put more trash on top and taken it all out to the curb for weekly trash pickup.
I will never order from them again. I ended up calling a local plant nursery in SIL’s town and had them mail him a gift certificate so he could pick out a nice plant for indoors or outdoors after the holidays.
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Photos? Isn’t UPS detailed shipping tracking sufficient to them? 
What kind of tropical houseplant would survive 8 days of shipping from MD to UT?! Outrageous.
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I had ordered a tea towel for my SIL for Thanksgiving. When it didn’t come by days past the expected delivery date, I contacted them. They printed a new one and shipped it express. My SIL got the replacement tea towel and the original one 2 days apart (at least 2 weeks after the original delivery date), well they made a nice Christmas gift instead (she did not need 2).
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I ordered a few pairs of pants from Old Navy - they had a great sale, and I wanted to try a pair of their wide-leg jeans. Since this wasn’t a present (except to me) and they had an option for an after-Christmas delivery, I chose that option. They were delivered yesterday.
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We are down to one outstanding package. Tracking shows it will be delivered today. Fingers crossed!
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