My daughter and son-in-law are expecting their first child in June. They live in the Boston area, but have decided to have a home birth at my house, because we live in Maine, a state that is much more midwife-friendly than Massachusetts. I am scared to death for various reasons, but I have agreed.
I would love to hear your positive experiences with home births.
*Please note that I am well aware of the safety statistics on home births, and how they are less likely to lead to unwanted medical interventions. My concerns are due to a personal tragedy years ago and a health situation my daughter faced. I am not at all opposed to home births. I just need to hear good stories about them from people who have chosen this path.
A good friend had a VBAC homebirth of twins. One twin was breech. She thought it was an amazing birth experience and became a huge homebirth advocate in her state.
I’ll try and think of some other good stories. A whole lot of my friends had homebirths, but pretty routine. Definitely no tragedies.
My parents’ generation were all born at home, because they lived in rural areas. No babies or mothers were lost during these births.
Our newspaper just ran a series of articles about problems and tragedies that occurred as a result of home births assisted by midwives. Scary stuff, though plenty can go wrong in hospital also. I think I would say “no way” if it was me; see if they can find a nice birthing center affiliated with a hospital. In case of complications, seconds can count.
True - and I was born at home with a midwife. Still, I chose a birthing Center at a hospital for birthing my kids. Sorry for interjecting non-good stories, but it was on my mind since the paper ran a 3-day series of articles. Okay - now on to the good stories!!!
How close do you live to a hospital? If not within 20 minutes, I’d not chance it.
My own child was born early and spent 3 months in the NICU, so I’ve seen more than a couple of babies who needed not just a hospital but a level 3 nursery. Several babies in our NICU had been airlifted in after a birth in a rural area or at a hospital without a Level 3 nursery; often they’d come without their mothers who had to follow later by car. Not all of those babies were premature, and some were huge babies who had trouble ‘getting out’ and needed more post natal care. I’ll admit my prejudice to wanting ALL the modern medicine available and there is no way I’d consider having a baby in the wilds of Maine (although I’m sure @Massmomm’s house is lovely) when there are highly equipped hospitals in Mass just waiting to make me feel like a princess for a day.
You (and she) can, of course, see how things are progressing in May and adjust plans. By then she’ll know her own health concerns and how the baby is doing.
Niece had 3 out 4 of her babies born at home with a midwife. Good outcomes all and she was pleased with her care as well as the community of other parents they connected with in the process. All positive.
Things she shared that were important: to have continuity of care with mid-wives and a clear plan for the unexpected. Also, some who originally plan home births may become higher risk in the course of the pregnancy and connections to OBs willing to work with mid-wives can matter. Midwives often will deliver in birthing centers, sometimes hospital affiliated. Especially good for peace of mind if no hospitals near to home. Good to research all options and focus on what one wants out of choosing a home birth as there is a continuum of possibilities. Does your daughter have a plan for Boston or ME pre-natal care? Are you okay with the logistics?
All the best to your family. I understand the need to keep an eye on the positive and overcome misgivings or personal fears based on experience.
First baby born in hospital, 2nd & 3rd born at home. No comparison. I treasure having had those 2 at home. We had a slight complication with #2 but it was taken care of at home and succesful grown son is proof of no lasting damage.
There are horror stories on both sides so don’t go there.
Even though I did not take this advice myself, it is a good thing if the midwife has hospital admitting privileges and/or a good working relationship with an M.D.
I have a friend whose baby was born at home with no medical personnel in attendance - that was what he & his wife wanted. They had an emergency plan in place. All went very well.
One of my students had a baby born prematurely & a mistake by a resident caused the child’s death. When she got pregnant again, she chose to have a home birth with a birthing pool & midwife. All went perfectly.
Another student whose wife is a midwife had their child at home with a midwife in attendance. Again, all went well.
While it is not what I would choose, I don’t know anyone who has had issues.
One book to read that really boosted me about the safety of homebirth was Peggy Vincent’s memoirs of being a nurse and hospital midwife and a homebirth midwife “Babycatcher”. When I started up with my prenatal care I was surprised to learn that the wife of the director of obstetrics at the practice I was (standard, mainstream practice associated with a research hospital) had a lay midwife. I kept meeting L&D nurses who had homebirths. The resident who initially talked to me was hoping for a homebirth for him and his wife. Good stories are good to hear but that really blew me away that mainstream birth professionals choose it for themselves (you just rarely hear about it). I don’t live in a particularly progressive area for that kind of stuff either.
There is the flip side, too. My lay midwife who was still in training, not even certified yet (and her certification is not recognized in our state) caught something at a follow up visit in my daughter that the doctor missed at their one week follow up visit . She drove me to the ER and saved my daughter’s life. I am not sure what would have happened if I didn’t have her around. I think my daughter wouldn’t be here.
25 years ago my 3rd child was born at home. I chose home birth to save money as I was uninsured. I did not feel it was risky since I had already had two normal, uncomplicated deliveries, lived right across the street from a hospital, had a certified nurse-midwife attending, as well as H, who was a medical resident at the time. Another reason I wanted to try a home birth was that I really hated the delivery position they used in the hospital --on back/stirrups, etc. Felt like I was pushing “uphill”–it made no sense at all. And they still did routine episiotomies… I wanted more freedom, flexibility than they allowed in hospitals.
Everything went well with the home birth–it was very intense and definitely one if the most memorable/peak experiences of my life. I was able to give birth in a kneeling position. One push delivery. Btw, it was a boy, 8lbs, 4 oz!
I had 5 more births after that. My next child was supposed to be born at home, but was 2 1/2 weeks overdue, and a supervising physician advised me to have labor induced, which I did. By chance H was the only one there when that baby was born–so it was sort of like a home birth without the midwife. And I used a birthing bar, which they had in hospitals by that time.
After that we moved to a rural area. I was older, had insurance, and it was an hour to a hospital. I felt it was riskier to have a home birth, so I chose hospital births after that. Though I did know many women who had home births in that area. Only problem was one mom had to go into the hospital a few days after delivery due to infection. But I’ve seen that after hospital births, too.
Good luck to your D! I hope all goes well with the delivery.
No horror stories, and I know that you’re looking for only happy tales, but it’s worth mentioning that when difficulties strike 20 minutes away to the hospital–even 5 minutes away–is too far. Having worked at a major law firm dealing with birth issues, I made the decision in light of what I learned there to have my children at a hospital. No question about that – and yes I live in an area where hospital births are poo-pooed and thought of as bad for mother and child. And I live with many people who are midwives. And I know the statistics about C sections and episiotomies. While I love my midwife friends dearly, I think they’re crazy to not be in a hospital at the time of the birth. Why risk the life and or QUALITY of life of the baby? That baby could be harmed forever, and the lives of the mother forever, for the sake of – what? A warm-fuzzy experience outside of a hospital? Once you’ve seen the risks in action, you would never make the choice of giving birth outside of a hospital where full emergency equipment and procedures are available instantly.
I also learned to ask every physician/ nurse in the birth situation and in any other situation that involved some form of surgery (the dental office, outpatient colonoscopy, etc) where their oxygen supply was located. Just to remind them of the risks involved. That’s how much time you have when tragedy strikes. It’s a matter of seconds, not minutes and even practiced physicians in major hospitals need the reminder of where the emergency equipment is and how quickly they must access it, also the idea that “emergencies” happen unexpectedly – and could happen to you, me, and anyone else. That’s the nature of the beast called emergencies. No one thinks it will happen to them. Hence: seat belts in cars. It could be the other driver.
Aside from birth, as I’m assuming that anesthesia won’t be part of that, always engage in conversation with the anesthesiologist regardless of the procedure, so that he or she sees you as a person and takes that extra second of thought before moving forward. This is so that the routine of the procedure doesn’t take precedence and a step gets missed. This is so that every little step is thought about again, and done correctly.
Hey Massmomm,
Sorry for the people who can’t follow instructions and giving you their negative opinions on homebirth. You’ve done a really respectful thing in providing a safe space for your family members to have a healthy, rewarding birth experience on their terms. Also, good on you for being aware of the safety statistics of homebirth!
I am a labor & delivery RN and birth doula; I’ve seen birth in all settings and I can say for a fact that, if I remain low risk, I will have a homebirth myself. I watched my sister birth her first at home and it was the most rewarding experience for her. She continued to have her second and third at home as well.
If you want positive stories on homebirth, my suggestion is to come away from this forum – this is not the friendliest setting for homebirthing. There are plenty of forums online that center around natural/holistic birth where you’d find more encouraging stories. Lastly, there are a couple of fantastic documentaries that you can watch like “Why Not Home” and “The business of being born” that might fill you with excitement and passion for this upcoming experience. Your daughter needs positive people around her during the birth; becoming her passionate advocate will be a great support to her.
Both my sister-in-laws had births that failed to progress and their midwives made the call to go to the hospital. Both went on to VBACs afterwards with no issues at all. I had a midwife at the hospital, which I thought was the best of both worlds.
The only kid I know in my generation that had problems caused by the actual birthing process, was born in a hospital.
