The family member who did this in our family was taking their honeymoon a year later…due to school commitments. They had plenty of time to plan.
The couple I know who were going to Russia planned to do it next summer, even though the wedding was a few weeks ago.
I don’t see what’s the big deal between registering for stuff…especially fancy, but impractical stuff most won’t likely have the opportunity/much chance to use vs registering for a honeymoon trip.
Sometimes, one gets the feeling some who cite tradition for disapproving of newer ideas are doing so due to mental inertia rather than any genuine concern over whether the recipient of the wedding gift will actually like/find a use for one’s gift…whether it be a fancy tangible item or an experience.
Cobrat–I’m not someone with mental inertia. I enjoy giving gifts that someone will actually use and I love doing some research and finding out (if I don’t know) what someone might like and really enjoy. It’s certainly easier to just click on the link and get something from a registry or contribute to a honeymoon. However, to me, it’s not the same as taking the time to look for a great gift. I feel that way about gift giving in general–not just for weddings.
thumper says, I say…give the couple something they want…not something YOU want them to have,
HA HA Husband’s gifting their wives too!!!
Oregon–in your view, gift giving is basically like grocery shopping–just buy what is on the list?
Ha Ha, No. Actually I am the one known to give really interesting and keep forever gifts.
That said. I have decided to stop that and to simply honor what they want as per registry.
This is a decision I made last year. I spent time and money and hope gift giving. I rarely goof.
But still. They want what they want…so fine. If that makes them happy then I am all for it.
This generation is more Crate and Barrel vs Ethan Allen.
It is all fine with me.
I was just joking ( or not :x) at H’s who give their wive’s what they want to give and it is really
NOT what she wants.
My husband keeps bringing up this mountain bike he wants to get for me (I barely mountain bike). Hmm, we are just about the same size…I wonder… 
I don’t get this idea that nice china is impractical and no one will have “occasion” to use it. What about every night at dinner?
I think that the real problem is that people make bad choices based on the limited selection of stuff available at stores like Macy’s. Especially when their tastes have not matured and they have no guidance. doG only knows how many young couples pick out Lenox Eternal, then never use it.
@Consolation the 20 somethings we know don’t have a special set of dishes for holidays. They do use whatever they have on a day to day basis. My kid has service for 12 of white dinnerware that came from Crate and Barrel, Williams Sonoma, and Pottery Barn. Plain white.
She will not be registering for “china” because she, like a lot of her friends, already have the one set of dishes they need and want.
She gets her wine glasses at Target. So what if a $5 stem breaks?
She doesn’t want Sterling flatware because she knows she will get mine.
I have no idea what her registry will look like…but I’m sure there will be a variety in terms of items, and price points. Thing is…it will ALL be stored here at my house for at least a couple of years due to,the transient nature of her studies now.
“Seems you still have to have the ability to pay for the trip upfront.”
We wouldn’t have had a wedding at all if we weren’t able to pay for a trip upfront. For the CC community, I don’t think the concept behind any of these gifts is that the couple couldn’t afford to buy their own tableware/pots/vacation. It’s just a way for guests and friends to express their kindness and support. If I’m invited to the wedding of Bill Gates’s kid, I’ll plan to give a gift, even if it is a gift to charity in their name.
A few Hollywood people who don’t need anything have had wedding or baby showers where guests can bring gifts for the needy. I think that’s wonderful. (Yes, I read People Magazine and US Weekly, so I see the celebrity showers and weddings.)
@thumper1 , I’ve never bought crystal wine glasses either. (I do have Waterford sherry glasses, courtesy of my parents.) Your D is outspending me. 
Our daily wine glasses are from WalMart. H bought them. I used to rely on Crystal D’Arc, these are even cheaper. Too much breakage, especially by my H. I recently decided that I wanted to once again have some decent, thin glasses that didn’t have those rolled rims, so I searched around and found a dozen red wines and a dozen white wines at TJMaxx and Home Goods for around $2.50 per stem. I keep them stored in their boxes, away from H’s depredations. 
We’ll see what happens when he finishes breaking our current supply. To give you some idea, as recently as two years ago we had 24, now we have 9.
I think the idea of the plain white stuff is an excellent one. They have some great choices at the stores you mention.
BTW, I didn’t register for china either, because I had already bought it for myself.
I think it all comes down to preference. I LOVE using my Waterford stemware every day. It makes me happy. Do I look down on a friend when she offers me wine in a $5 stem? Never. But I love using my Spode Christmas China the month of December. If it gets broken, so be it. It is used. There’s no right or wrong.
I have never been a big fan of registries as they just seem like a discreet way of asking for gifts, just like I don’t love graduation announcements as they seem like just a tacky way of asking for money. However I am slowly changing my stance. We did not have a registry when we got married, and I really love some of the things we got that were such fun surprises. However, we also got a lot of stuff that went unused and that we eventually got rid of. I’m a stoneware and handmade pottery kind of person and most people we invited knew that, so it all worked out. Now that my kids are older and starting to get married, I see the lifestyles they have and realize that for them and many of their friends, the traditional wedding gifts just don’t work. Many of them are traveling constantly for work, working internationally, moving frequently, or even doing things like Peace Corps. “Traditional” wedding gifts just are not appropriate for so many couples now as life styles have changed so much since we got married 37 years ago. Sometimes money really is the best option so I guess I have decided that I will just go with the flow and give what the couple asks for and will use.
The only folks I know who use fine china every night at dinner tend to be upper/very comfortable upper-middle class who enjoy fancy things, have/feel they have the leisure time to implement such dinner service daily, and don’t fear the fine china will be damaged/destroyed by regular usage.
Especially if there’s young children or boisterous adolescents/teens around.
If you want to take the time to pick out what you think is a meaningful gift for the couple, I think that is fine. But the reality is most people either do not want to do that or are otherwise unable to do that. So the registry provides great suggestions (resulting from the couple actually sitting down and thinking about what they want/will use). If you go off the list though, you may miss in terms of what you select. So don’t be too upset if you do not see what you bought displayed prominently in their home or as something they use regularly. They may well re-gift it to someone else, throw it away or return it.
In terms of China/stemware, my rule is simple: if it can’t go in the dishwasher its not being used. Our everyday plates cost more than the plates we use for special occasions. But both go in the dishwasher. Someone bought us 12 expensive wine glasses that we pretty much never use because neither of us drink wine. At Thanksgiving 3-4 of them get used with guests who drink wine. Rest of the time they sit in boxes (my guess is some of them have never been used in 20+ years). BTW, those cannot go in the dishwasher (not supposed to and wouldn’t fit in any event).
And your point is?
Part of a parent’s job is to (as they grow) teach their children how to sit at a table, eat with decent table manners, and make polite dinner conversation. This certainly does not require fine china, but no dinnerware is there to be broken and misused by anyone, especially “boisterous” people who are old enough to know better.
Every year around Christmas you see articles about studies that have been done on the economic inefficiency of gift giving. In short, the money givers spend almost always exceeds the value the recipient puts on the gift. Then a companion article will explain to people like me that there is a lot of emotion and human connection involved in selecting gifts, and it’s not all about the money. I know that, but gifting is not one of my love languages, so I kind of read about it the way you would read about any exotic culture.
Some people really are good at selecting gifts that are things I didn’t know I couldn’t live without until they were given to me. I have maybe a dozen of those things around the house. But I’m not one of those people, so it is a great gift to me when someone signs up for things in a registry, even if the thing they sign up for is a honeymoon fund. I want to show I care in a way that feels caring to the recipients, and the registry lets me do that.
So if everyone always tells you that you are exceptional at picking out gifts, keep doing that and I’ll admire you for it. But if no one has ever said that to you, stick to the registry, or give cash.
I didn’t register for china because my mom gave me a beautiful set from her first marriage, to my Dad. But I regret I didn’t register for holiday dinnerware. I love to set a pretty Christmas table, so I would have used those. I could certainly buy some now, but I’ve bought festive chargers, napkins, etc for my mostly white china and it does the job well enough.
Fine China is by its very nature fragile and considering its greater expense in relation to less fancy, but more durable/utilitarian diningware, is more likely to be damaged/destroyed if used regularly.
And it’s not only the kids. There are plenty of klutzy adults and accidents do happen…especially over years and decades.
As an aside, the reference to “polite dinner conversation” reminded me of this '50s era film on family dining manners: