Hoodies in summer

Parent Cafe
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<p>smile is the old fashioned colon then closed parentheses.</p>

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<p>yes - I can smile, wink, be sad or mad - but not alarmed, or giddy happy (that pink face with the flushed cheeks)</p>

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<p>[College</a> Confidential - Smilies](<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/misc.php?do=showsmilies]College”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/misc.php?do=showsmilies)</p>

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<p>Thanks - I copied it and emailed it to myself for further study :D</p>

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<p>My son wears hoodies in the summer and shorts in the winter (in Maine!). Drives his father nuts.</p>

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<p>I wear my hooded sweaters all the time. They’re lovely, warm, cashmere. What’s not to like? (I am 56, white, not a gang member, but I am the leader of the pack.)</p>

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<p>I highly doubt all the middle-age women posting here are wearing the type of hoodie I’m referring to. There is a difference between an ordinary sweat jacket with a hood, or a nicer hooded sweater or fleece-like garment from the type of hoodie that is chosen by young kids who want to look intimidating and tough. The latter tend to be thick (Dickies brand?), dark colored (black or gray), and the hood extends out past the face a lot farther, thereby shadowing it. It’s more “gangsta” and often accompanies the low hanging pants, which by the way is a style which traces its origins to prison garb.</p>

<p>It’s all about context. There’s a difference between wearing a ski mask on a ski slope and wearing one in a dark alley. There’s a difference between wearing a bikini to the beach and wearing one to the office. And there’s also a difference between wearing your dark hood up over your head and face when you’re outside walking in the cold and rain, than when you’re wearing it the same way to walk down the hallway of the school.</p>

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<p>I’m not an African American parent, but I am the parent of an African American boy, which probably close enough. In the past six months I’ve watched my son go through some amazing changes. He’s grown six inches, traded in his baby fat for muscles with definition, started to become interested in things like politics, and begun to take full responsibility for his school work and other things. This should be a wonderous time, it’s like right before my eyes my sweet little boy is turning into a man, a wonderful, intelligent, kind, thoughtful man. The kind the world needs more of!</p>

<p>And yet, what should be a wonderful time is also bittersweet because underneath it all is the knowledge that other people are looking at my amazing sweet bright son and seeing scary black male. In the past year I’ve watched shop owners yell at him for picking up an item and turning it over to see the price tag. We’ve been stopped by angry yelling police officers who approached the car from his side, and then changed demeanor when they saw who was driving. I’ve had another parent, one whose kid has played with mine for years tell me I need to teach my child to move off the sidewalk when white women walk past so they won’t be scared (note, she doesn’t teach her son this, but tells me I need to “accept” that my kid is scary, and teach him to “show respect” for others by acknowledging and accommodating their fears). The other day we got separated in Target when his phone ran out of batteries, and the first thing that came to my mind was that he’d been swooped up on the suspicion of shop lifting.</p>

<p>So, how do we navigate that? Carefully. Teaching my son to be safe but still confident; keeping him protected while letting him have the same range of experiences that white children have; teaching him to be kind and courteous and respectful (skills a black man needs more than anyone) while not bowing down to prejudice or accommodating bigots, these are challenging lines to walk. </p>

<p>My kid doesn’t like hoodies – he’s more of the short sleeves no jacket when it’s snowing type of kid. If he did wear a hoodie, I’d let him wear them most of the time. Not in situations where they’re inappropriate for anyone such as church, or a funeral orthe airport when the zippers mess up the metal detector; not if he was at a school with a uniform), but certainly places like school or casual restaurants where white people wear them without comment. I’d expect him to lower his hood for the national anthem, or at school, or at the dinner table, because I consider that respectful for anyone, but not when walking into his own school or around his own neighborhood.</p>

<p>Now, I’ll be honest, and say that when the sun goes down that changes. The reality is there are situations where I tell my kid “safety first”. When the Trayvon Martin tragedy happened we sat down and talked again. We talked about situations where his “radar” tells him there’s danger, we talked about confrontations with the police, we talked about how things change when it’s dark and there are few witnesses, or when the person you’re dealing with has power or authority. The reality is that there are times when he needs to put his safety first, before his pride, before his right to equal treatment. At those times it’s hoods down, hands out of your pocket, “yes sir, excuse me ma’am” and move slowly and carefully. He knows that right now, in this country, sometimes that’s what he needs to do to be safe. But those times can’t be the majority if I’m going to raise an emotionally healthy confident happy kid. If I felt that his school was the kind of place where there was a real safety concern in letting him wear a hoodie, I’d change his school. If he regularly felt unsafe in his neighborhood, we’d move. </p>

<p>Sorry this is so long.</p>

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<p>The OP sounds like a variant of the stereotypical “get off my lawn type” who expects total deference to the status quo…no matter how arbitrary, idiotic, and/or immoral…and expects those holding such arbitrary, idiotic, and/or immoral notions to be catered to without question. </p>

<p>In that light…I should have lowered my head in deference when the “English only” idiots in my college town tried to give me grief during my undergrad years for the “crime” of speaking Mandarin with some Chinese classmates…not do what I actually did…give them a civics lecture about how the First Amendment gives me the right to use whatever damned language I please and some choice words about how THEY were being un-American in their attempts to intimidate. </p>

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<p>Wow! That sounds almost identical to the horrific accounts older African men I knew/met recounted about their experiences growing up in the Jim Crow south during the 20’s-60s at school presentations and other venues. </p>

<p>I’m disgusted this despicable mentality of overentitled “due deference” is still with us in the late 20th/early 21st century.</p>

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<p>Why are jeans disrespectful?</p>

<p>Is there a list of respectful and disrespectful clothing somewhere?</p>

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<p>GFG, post 12 made me laugh. My grandmother is in her early 60s, a minister, and a very outgoing woman. She’s an old hippie and holds church outdoors. I don’t even think she has a formal church… The thought of her wearing one of those “old lady” getups in a formal church made me chuckle.</p>

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<p>GFG, perhaps instead of blaming the victim you could try to fix a small part of the problem, however small your impact may be. </p>

<p>I see nothing to be gained by recommending that black “scary” males dress differently because of their skin color. I do agree that they should look out for their safety, but it disgusts me that someone would go so far as to suggest that without a thorough evaluation of how perhaps their own views of black males are clouding their credibility. </p>

<p>Romani, “old lady gettups” Ahahah you made me laugh.</p>

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<p>I must not be getting it. To me, a hoodie simply means a hooded sweatshirt. I don’t wear them just because I don’t wear sweatshirts unless I’m going to and from the gym, but my kids certainly wear them and I don’t see anything “offensive” or gang-like about them at all. Is there a different look that I’m unaware of?</p>

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<p>Nah, PG. There is a difference between like a hooded “sweater” (which I rarely see) and a hooded “sweatshirt”. Really though, a hoodie is a hoodie. There are a few “nice” hoodies but most “nice” sweaters don’t have hoods.</p>

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<p>Perhaps the OP would like to suggest that African American teenagers go naked, so that we can all feel more comfortable knowing that they’re not “thugs” or “gang members” and we can examine them for weapons and tattoos easier.</p>

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<p>I take it he is not [url=<a href=“http://www4.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Geoffrey+Mutai+115th+Boston+Marathon+0PbExhqJv62l.jpg]fast[/url”>http://www4.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Geoffrey+Mutai+115th+Boston+Marathon+0PbExhqJv62l.jpg]fast[/url</a>]?</p>

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<p>Yes, at least in some cases like [url=<a href=“http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f9/Sikh_wearing_turban.jpg]this[/url”>http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f9/Sikh_wearing_turban.jpg]this[/url</a>] or [url=<a href=“http://www.jewishjournal.com/images/articles/tri_boy-yarmulke_020111.jpg]this[/url”>http://www.jewishjournal.com/images/articles/tri_boy-yarmulke_020111.jpg]this[/url</a>].</p>

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<p>Typical US airport security screening stations want people to put their outer jackets (hooded or not) in the carry-on bag X-ray machine.</p>

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<p>curiousjane, great post, please don’t apologize for it’s length as it is important for all of us to understand more deeply. I am touched at how you have to negotiate such issues with your son, and can imagine what a balance that must be as a parent. we live in Florida, where many of us don’t ever need to wear jackets, but only hoodies. (it starts raining at the drop of a hat, and it’s freezing everywhere you go indoors) Thing is my son can wear his hoodie safely. (even in our gated community) or at his high school, where it gets quite chilly. The thing is as a parent of a white teenager, I am aware that noone would ever even notice that he is wearing a hoodie. </p>

<p>Not sure but it seems you are subtly implying the hoodie wearing offenders are African American and “should know better”. IMHO it is ludicrous that the OP is suggesting that kids are responsible for others assuming that they are thugs simply by virtue of their wearing hoodies. By that logic are we to also accept that if a curvy college girl wears a snug top or short skirt she is responsible for others assuming she is a slut? Does that permit others to take action against said offenders bc after all they asked for it. It’s a slippery slope you are on and it is disturbing to read it here.</p>

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<p>^^This. Reminds me of the court case in the 70s where the defendant claimed that because the victim was sunbathing in her own back yard in a halter top she was asking to be raped.</p>