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<p>Due to HIPPA, we can’t give out information on our patients anyway, so it really is wasted time for both the caller and the nurse.</p>
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<p>Right…but why do they call anyway?</p>
<p>When I had my stint in ICU, I was a walkie/talkie and I still didn’t want visitors.</p>
<p>but I NEVER want anyone to see me in the hospital except my family, no matter how minor my reason for hospitalization. When else would you expect to go see an acquaintance lying in bed with skimpy (hospital) unattractive clothing on? No makeup, feeling terrible, looking bad…why would I want visitors? I just personally think it is rude to go look at people when they are in such a vulnerable state.</p>
<p>I never visit others in the hospital unless I knew for a fact they WANT people to come visit them.</p>
<p>Missypie, by all means write to your friends. Also, you could volunteer to be the witch. With their approval, you could call all these insensitive clods who visit despite clear instructions, and say in your sweetest tone, “Suzy, I’m so sorry, but Mary asked me to call you and explain that Joe just can’t have visitors right now. She’s so grateful that you care, but she just can’t manage visitors right now.” Maybe then they would get the message.</p>
<p>Skyhook - you are not in the minority.</p>
<p>Ditto for me.</p>
<p>First of all, vanity aside, I often don’t have the energy to be nice. I broke my leg in three places a couple of years ago and had spinal headaches following surgery. I could be nice to my DH or DD’s for about five minutes and then I even wanted THEM to leave.</p>
<p>I’m with Skyhook. I had visitors (neighbors, our preschool teacher) come to visit at the hospital after having a baby by C-section. I was later horrified at how I looked in photos and would just as soon that no one had seen me but my H and the staff.</p>
<p>Send food baskets and treats to the ICU staff from “Missypie, friend of patient so and so.” Cookies and coffee are always appreciated by the staff. (Fresh fruit and flowers are sometimes not permitted in the ICU, so stick to baked goods, hand lotions and the like.)</p>
<p>BTW, sedated patients on vents who may end up on ECMO will not remember any visitors; visitors, unless critical care professionals, will likely be shocked and uncomfortable with what they see.</p>
<p>My aunt was in the ICU last week and I drove down to give my 90 year old uncle support thinking that I would sit with him in the cafeteria for a bit and have a cup of tea. Amazingly no one said a word to me when I stood in the doorway of the ICU. When a nurse noticed me she said to feel free to sit with my aunt not knowing who the heck I was. It is a smallish hospital not located in an urban area but still, very strange.</p>
<p>“No visitors” means just that, unless the family specifically tells you that you are the exception. While there ARE times when people tell others they are managing fine ,when they really could use the type of friend who doesn’t know how to take no for an answer, the situation you’ve outlined is just not one of those times. I still haven’t forgotten the time when a casual work colleague of Hs, along with his W and their two year old(?! -what were they thinking?) paraded into my hospital room the day after I had had S. People can mean well but be clueless.</p>
<p>My friend passed away this morning.</p>
<p>{{{{{ hugs }}}}} to you.</p>
<p>missypie, I’m sorry to hear about your friend. Having been through this too many times, it never gets any easier. Sending hugs across the miles.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry, Missypie. <em>hugs</em></p>
<p>Oh, Missypie, I am so sorry for you and for the family of your friend. Hope you can savor wonderful memories that you have of good times with these friends.</p>
<p>In the coming weeks, you will be needed. As everyone knows, in the days and weeks to come there will be a flurry of activity and the family will be lifted by the outpouring of love. But in a couple of months, after the holidays pass, your friend’s family will need you more than ever.</p>
<p>missypie - I am so sorry to hear the news. My thoughts are with you.</p>
<p>I am so sorry. Prayers, good thoughts and hugs to the family and you.</p>
<p>missy-Sending you and the family my thoughts and prayers.</p>