<p>I am going into 10th grade and am looking at peddie and lawrenceville for my junior and senior years. I live within 1 hr away, so I am looking to board. To me, driving would be a huge hassel. i plan on visiting home on weekends. I expressed the desire to pursue a BS and I was shot down. Now, If i am unhappy this year, I can apply. My reasons for applying consist of mainly a fresh start, change, higher academic standard, and new social oppurtunites. I told them that it would open up doors for college, and ease the transition. What did you do to convince your parents? I am running into a major road block with this. Thanks</p>
<p>Tell your parents that cars are not allowed on campus and that you will not be permitted to drive one home or back to school. None of your friends at school will have cars available on campus. After school, you will be at sports practice or drama rehearsal, and if you go anywhere, it will be on a school-provided bus. Your parents will not sit at home while you are out in a car with a 16 year old friend driving. You will be at boarding school, very safe, and they will know exactly where you are 24-7.</p>
<p>tell them you’ll have more to do homework during the time you would spend driving. and you’ll get haelthier/more amount of sleep, getting to wake up later, because you don’t have to drive. and you’ll ajust better. and make more friends. and be more ready for college. just tell them the pros, not the cons. they’ll figure those out on their own.</p>
<p>By boarding, you will foster a sense of independence and smooth your transition from living with your parents to college. Furthermore, living with a bunch of students, you foster strong, enduring friendships, and simply put, a better experience. To allay their concerns about not seeing you, offer them a compromise: Promise them that when possible, you will visit them at home. That means the vast majority of weekends, all breaks.</p>
<p>There are other factors to consider re: Day student vs. Boarding student. I am familiar with Lawrenceville, and the stated policy is to encourage anyone who lives more than, I believe, 15 miles away, to board. A long commute is not encouraged, as it impacts the time available for activities outside of class which are even scheduled after dinner. As a day student you could stay for BLD for the same price, but would you want to travel home at 10pm? What about bad weather? It doesn’t cost very much more to board than it does for a day student as well. Also you must get permission to leave for weekends if you board, and there are classes on saturday.</p>
<p>At the day schools that I am familiar with the activities are geared to finish so that students can get the “late bus”. Even though students may live 45 minutes away, there is arranged transportation to most of the areas. In bad weather, school is often closed.</p>
<p>All that said, as a mom, I think other factors other than cost are the issue with day vs. boarding. Student maturity, family dynamics, etc. would be more of a concern to me.</p>
<p>also. my school doesn’t have snow days unless its a complete and total can’y-go-outside-frostbite weather, so what would you do in those circumstances. some people also say that day stud3nts don’t have time to do their hw by the time they get home. besides, tell them you’ll visit everyweekend. they can do your laundry. tell them to come have lunch with you sometime or something.</p>
<p>Thanks to all. I feel that if I take the right approach and have spell everything out for them, I will have a better chance at being allowed. If I go to a school in NJ, i can visit frequently. If I go to St Geoges or taft, not so much. But i can also fly home, after all, southwest airlines does have good rates!</p>
<p>figure out what they’re worried about, then think of an ideal solution that addresses whatever they’re concerned about, and then invite them for a “serious talk” and talk about it.</p>
<p>Thanks, I plan on doing it. I am currently establishing a big powerpoint and then giving a 30 min speach about it. Hopefully me efforts will display dedication.</p>
<p>I have a suggestion as a parent. Please don’t take offense. </p>
<p>If you do your PowerPoint (personally I think it’s overkill) or anything in writing, check your spelling and grammar. Your posts have a number of such mistakes. Second, you are on the right track of showing your commitment and dedication. I’m not sure a PowerPoint is the way to do this. In our case, our D took on all the work herself. She scheduled her own SSATs, ordered her own applications, completed them herself, arranged her own interviews, etc. Because this takes place over many months, it shows that she had sustained commitment and interest. </p>
<p>In fact, it started in August, 1 year ago. We were against D going to private school at all, let alone BS. Her sustained commitment over a period of about 8 months convinced us to let her board. Now we are confident she was right and we are happy with and proud of her. </p>
<p>The other point I was going to make is this. I don’t know if your approach has involved whining, begging, or any other negative pattern. If it has, stop now. Instead try a mature approach. Start with this - you have two ears and one mouth. Sit down with them, ask them for their reasons why they are opposed. Listen carefully and do not speak. Make a list of their reasons, right then and there, for yourself. Don’t be obvious or obnoxious about it. You are there to understand, not argue. DO NOT RESPOND. Thank them for their honesty and helping you understand. Then take some time - days, even weeks - to think through how you would approach each such objection. Remember, there will be some you cannot fix! You have to accept them! If that happens, be honest and say so, and ask - or hope- that they will let those objections drop.</p>
<p>laxtaxi, you have no clue how much I value your post as you know it first hand. And yes, I am a terrible speller, and I probally will have numerous errors in this post itself. But, I am very strong in the area of desktop publishing, as many of me teachers tease me for being an overachiever. I never make spelling errors in papers and whatnot, as I spend a solid amount of time on them. I agree that the powerpoint may be too “bossy”, as in fairness its my parents choice. I am probally going to downplay the powerpoint. </p>
<p>I have not begged nor whined, yet I was fustrated that they were not open to the idea. Like you stated, for now on I will just keep my mouth shut. </p>
<p>As for their objections, do you mean friendly counter them with a positive? I am thinking of saying, “Hey mom and dad, there is an open house at Blair on October 11th… can we just check it out for an hour or so?”</p>
<p>attending an open house (like the one at Blair) as a family is an excellent way to start a discussion of the pros and cons of boarding school. Unless one of your parents attended a boarding school, it is unfamiliar territory for them – and that could be one of the reasons why they are against it.</p>
<p>My mom said the exact same thing last night when Iw as talking to her-
“This is unfamiliar territoty… No one in our family or friends has ever done this before!”</p>
<p>mburgos13, I don’t suggest you counter them at all. Depending on how you have handled this so far they may be reluctant to talk with you at all. You need to be mature enough to find the right circumstances. Then, when you do, simply ask them if they have given further thought to BS. If they say yes and they are open to it, proceed cautiously. Still take as much on as you can to demonstrate your commitment. If they say no, acknowledge that you understand. You can tell them you’re disappointed and it would help you to know why they object so you can understand for the future. Again, at this point, mouth closed, ears open. Listen, don’t argue. Find out what it is. Whatever they say, thank them for being honest and open with you. End the conversation about BS at that point. Then, when you are private, reflect on what they said. Some reservations may be surmountable, some may not. And, of course, you can share their reservations here on CC and we can help you accept them and commiserate with you or address them fairly and appropriately. </p>
<p>Remember, this is a hole you’ve dug out of which you can climb out overnight. In my experience, flipping 180 degrees for my daughter was a process that began last August and didn’t really begin to work at all until January when I took her for her 1st BS interview. I had told her she could apply and I would pay for the applications but if the FA offer wasn’t good enough I was reserving the right to say no even if she was to be accepted at schools to which I would otherwise allow her to go. Parents do not like to be manipulated. I knew I was being manipulated, skillfully, and the end result was for such a positive purpose I changed my mind and allowed her to go.</p>
<p>laxtaxi, I honestly do appreciate. I am getting the idea that I should sort of down play the idea of BS. Sort of like show that that I take the seriously, but do not be obnoxious or overkill. I want to show a commitment, but NOT portray it as if boarding is the only option you know?</p>
<p>i think there’s a word for that in the dictionary but i can’t remember it, if it exists at all</p>
<p>non-obsessive, i guess. :D</p>
<p>well the idea is that you show a sense of formal detachment yet you still express your strive to attend that school. it’s like business in my opinion; show them that you want them to be your partners, but don’t overdo it.</p>